I think I need fill out.
I'm sitting here and looking at this wonderful spinich and feta filo bake that Dad has made and I can't eat it. I've tried. I've tried to eat things for two days and I either pb them or they get stuck. How can it suddenly be bought on like this? It's super weird!
Bridget thinks she needs to call up Dr Fill tomorrow and try to get in. The only problem is I cannot take any time off, I'm so super busy this week, and it takes 40 mins to get there.
I'll have to see what I can do.
You'd think since my band is super tight I would be losing weight. Not at all. That's weird too....
What the fuck is going on people?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
I think I need fill out.
Posted by Bridget Parker at 6:40 PM
I am sick.
Third weekend in a row.
Trish suggested I get a Vitamin B booster. I think that's a great idea.
This weekend I'm plagued with a sore sore throat, fatigue and the most horrible looking lips. They are swollen and red and hurt. And I tried to eat and they bled.
Posted by Bridget Parker at 1:05 PM
Saturday, August 30, 2008
I SHOULD be at the gym this morning. But I am not. I am making every excuse under the sun. And then when I have no more I simply say "meh, I can't be bothered". I know its now time to step it up and go. BUT.....
So what is it? Is it because I haven't been in a long time? Is it because its a 10 min drive? Is it because I need to get up early to go?
The scales are stalling. I am so so so slowly losing the weight. IT IS TIME TO GO. So what is it?
Posted by Bridget Parker at 11:26 AM
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Had a nice day out today with my friend Cass. We went to yum cha (first few bites I had some issues with stucks but seemed to ease after that) then shopping. Oh and I paid bills- fun fun fun.
Before I went out I attempted to take some photos of myself on the automated timer. I will go through them and see if there is a decent one to post. I LOVE seeing myself in whole on the camera. Its shocking to see. I dont look like a big fat balloon anymore!
Wanna do some advertising for two blogs I'm reading at the moment. Nikki's blog and Sami's blog are both great and I want you to check em out and leave comments!! Lol. DO IT!! please...
Two weeks until my 6 month bandiversary. I am really looking forward to it. I am going to see Fill Dr then, but if the restriction is the same as it is at the moment then I will cancel. I am seeing my surgeon a week later for the 6 month review so I might get one then.
Have a great weekend my friends. Thanks so much for all the amazing comments. You don't know how much it means to me. I tear up reading them. It gives me such strength.
-skinny "bringing sexy back" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 10:27 PM
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Last post I vented my frustrations out in regards to the scales... I'm over that now. After a few hours I realised that it was a hormonal moment and that I should STOP focusing on the weight loss.
Last few days I have been trying on lots of clothes that have been in my wardrobe for awhile. They all not only fit, but look stupid. Make me look bigger than I am. So its off to the shops in a few weeks to buy some more clothes! I am now in size 16's. When I hit the 14's I will be stoked! I cannot honestly remember the last time that I was a 14...
Food wise, my band is tight. I am not sure if because I have a cold and hormonal restriction, it has made it tighter. I really have to focus on chewing, and it is taking me 30 mins to eat a meal. I am happy with my level of fill as I know that in a week or so it will wear off a little bit.
This afternoon I was 98.8 after food and with an elephant of fluid. Pretty happy with that.
I'm noticing more and more the level of confidence in myself rising. Today I voiced my unhappiness with a co worker when I found out one of my focus children had stopped coming on the days I work and was re-assigned to another teacher without my knowlege. Tomorrow I am facing the boss on this issue. It seems that because I am the newest member and the youngest I am always the last person to know everything that is going on in the centre. And I don't agree with it. I would have NEVER even contemplated doing this before. Great step forward with me.
Will post again soon. It's getting closer to my 6 months banded...I will take photos on the day. I can't wait to see the difference. I am really really feeling it at the moment- even with the fluid. I can honestly say I feel like skinny biddy. Thats amazing..
I still have 25 or so kilos to go... but it's ok. If I woke up tomorrow and was 65-70 kilos I wouldn't have learnt all the things that I am now. It IS a journey.
-skinny "back on track and no more negativity" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 4:22 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Still 99..... in fact 99.8. SO FRUSTRATING.
I must admit my food choices the last 5 days have been poor. But its mostly due to fluid retention.
So this week my goals are:
- drink more water
- finally get to gym if kiddies haven't given me anything sickness! I wanna go at least twice to start off with
- get focused- no more lazying around. I gotta get tafe work done on days off.
- make better food choices no matter how hormonal i may be
That's it for now... I'm too annoyed at scales.
Posted by Bridget Parker at 12:06 PM
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I am very frustrated. Get onto the scales today to see 99.
I thought it was getting a break. But no. AHHHH...
I am OVER the high 90's.. I want 93, 92 or shock- 91!!!!
I've got a cold (yes, sick again) at the moment which isnt helping things. I thought that I would have more restriction because of it but thats not the case. I can eat. I can eat anything.
I think this all boild down to the fact that I am due for a visitor tomorrow. Fluid? Probably. No restriction- that usually happens. I know its apart of being a woman, but fucken hell its frustrating!!!!!!!!!!! Just when I thought I was getting somewhere!
The positive side of it is that I didn't realise I was due tomorrow. Usually I have BAD BAD BAD BAD moods (mum tells me lol) and I find it hard to walk and even breathe the fluid is to bad. But nope, none. It means we are getting somewhere with the symptoms!
Meant to be going to boxing tomorrow. I'm thinking I might be horrible and not go. Need to rest and tackle some tafe work- I do owe 22 hours and 4 assignments!
Thanks for the vent
-skinny "currently addicted to buying books and pandora charms on ebay" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 9:25 PM
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Got a call from my Dr today whilst at work. He confirmed that I do in fact, NOT have Coeliac disease. That my blood tests showed that I possibly could, not in fact that I was positive for it. The nurse said I was positive. So I have been going around thinking that my life was going to be changing. That I've had this all my life and never known. I had lost faith in myself for a little while. I thought "well I've got everything else wrong with me, why not that". I thought that things in my life have never gone well, so that this was just meant to happen because I had been having such a good run.
So, now I can move on from this. I can go back to what I was going before this mess. I will be, like stated last night, seeing what foods are making me sick and staying away from them as much as possible.
My Dr also was looking at my weight loss results on lapbase (program that tracks weight loss with band, your surgeon will use this to calculate your bmi, your excess weight, the amount you would hope to lose in 2 years, and records each visit- fill measurements and weight.) and he said I was doing very well. He said he wasn't sure when he would see me next, I told him my 6 months was in Sept so due for my "review" then. He was a little surprised. He thought that I had been done longer. I'm thinking its because of my weight loss. 23 kilos in 5 months is good. To me, its really good. And he thought so too.
I think that I'm losing really well because banding life and me were always meant to be. We fit so well. I adore it. When my Dr will ask me how I am feeling about it in my 6 month review, I know that whatever words I can manage to get out without feeling like I am going to burst into tears, won't be enough.
Fitting that "This is the best thing that has ever happend to me" is playing in the background as I write this.
-skinny "filled with love, joy and happiness" biddy :0)
Sometimes the path you're on is not as important as the direction you're heading. ~Kevin Smith
Posted by Bridget Parker at 4:52 PM
Monday, August 18, 2008
Seen my weight loss ticker lately????
Um ok.... well..........
Very very very happy!
Now... I've been doing some calculations... the next few months are going to see some interesting occurances...
In 1.4 kilos time I will have lost 25 kilos.
In 1.9 kilos time I will have lost 50% of my excess body weight
In 6.4 kilos time I will have lost 30 kilos and be the lowest weight I've been in 5 years.
In 8.4 kilos time I will be in the 80s... something that before banding seemed completely unrealistic....
I am amazed.
Over my stomach bug which is super. The preschooler who gave it to me still remains at home. Lol.
I am going to start keeping a food diary daily. This is more for me to find out what foods are making me sick and what foods I'm ok with. I want to try and work out what's happening with my body. And if I have a gluten issue or wheat issue.
For instance, tonight I had a sausage. And I feel sick now. So I'm staying away from them.
No call from Dr today about my results in regards to if I have Coeliac disease or not. Like I said though, going to really watch what I am eating and focus on staying away from those foods. Just to see if I feel any better. I have been for a week now and do feel better, and scales are better too.
Going to start leaving you with a quote of the day. I read this one tonight and fell in love with it
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending. ~Author Unknown
-skinny "in the middle of her journey" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 9:22 PM
Saturday, August 16, 2008
I have a stomach bug. It sucks. Thankfully I am not throwing up- band and throwing up aren't very good together. So I've been in bed all day sleeping and drinking water. I need to get better. I have so much to do this wasn't part of my plan! Thanks preschool for the germs! Lol.
Yesterday I went and got a fill. Dr Fill put in .4 mls to take my fluid amount up to 5.7 mls. We are getting their me thinks-close to being at the right spot. The results from my biopsy were also through. I asked him to tell me. Apparently I don't have Coeliac. It's very confusing because the blood test showed a positive result. So I am getting my wonderful surgeon to call me next week and tell me what I am meant to be doing now. I am thinking that I will stay away from foods like pasta and bread and find alternatives.
So today there has been no food except for a single Cruskit. That didn't work so well so I'm staying away from foods until tomorrow and I will see how that goes. Hopefully this is just a 24 hour thing.
Mum did point out today that I haven't really rested since biopsy. I worked extra this week and have been busy planning the programming for preschool next week. I am doing a lot. I need to have time to myself. Lesson learned.
Starting gym next Thursday, plan is to do a class thurs, fri, sat and sun. I won't start off with that many because I'll probably be too sore. Lol. Don't want to kill myself!!
The biggest news though is the scales.........
99.2! Being sick pays off!! I am so so so so happy. It's the lowest weight I've been on this journey so far- never gotten to 99.2- its always been 99.9! So I was able to put my next charm on my bracelet- two koi fish in the shape of a heart. So next goal is to get below 95. Hoping to do that in a month. With gym and watching food hoping that will happen.
Off to bed (again for the 6th time today). Have a lovely Sunday my cyber friends.
-skinny "you can't stop me now!" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 10:04 PM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Got home this morning at 10 am. Can't believe it- it was sooo quick! Will post my story on my Coeliac blog later on today- so please check it out.
I have added a comparison photo for my 5 months since banded. I promise to now do one every month. Wanna hear your comments. Please disregard how shocking I look- dirty hair and no make up. I was going into hospital people!! Lol.
Off to have a nana nap. I am very very tired.
Nighty for now... will post later. And don't forget to check out my other blog!!
-skinny "biopsied" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 11:48 AM
Monday, August 11, 2008
So.... tomorrow morning at 5.30 am I will be up and getting ready for my biopsy. I have to be at the hospital at 7 a.m. Yes, early. Hoping to be out by lunch time though.... Will be buying magazines to keep me entertained!!
I am doing ok nerves wise... I was worse last night I think. I will try and get some sleep tonight so I am well rested and relaxed in the morning.
Tomorrow is a big day not only for the biopsy... but it will be 5 months since I was banded. Boy has life changed. I think I will post tomorrow when I come home about how differently I feel about my life now, but I think people who have read most of my entries will know that it has been massive in such a short space of time.
I had a medium come and give readings at my 21st party on Friday night and he said that he knew there were big changes happening in my life. Its so incredible. I love my band. I love my band.
Will report back tomorrow with all the juicy details... and will try to remember to take photos for a comparison shot....
-skinny "soon to be biopsied" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 11:25 PM
Saturday, August 9, 2008
After a simply wonderful 21st party last night I jumped on scales to reveal.....................
Wonderful! So happy!
Everything seems to be alligning well for me right now.
Yesterday I had MAJOR family dramas resulting in my sister moving out/being kicked out. Of course it had to happen on the morning of my party. So since then food and me arent so great. I had no issues yesterday but I didnt really eat much, stuck to yummy mocktails last night. Today I tried some Jatz but it didn't work at all. Was stuck then pb'ed them. So more of the liquids today again instead of food. We had a lot of party food left over. But I honestly don't feel that need to eat it like I used to. It doesn't excite me. In fact, I feel gross when eating it.
We had such a great time last night that I forgot to take ANY photos or cut my cake. They didnt even get to see it!! So I have a WHOLE "21" cake in my fridge. Great! Might take it to work for the kiddies on Monday....
So can't post any photos on my blog of the party and how awesome I looked in my dress (hehehe) but I will post some more of myself soon. I put my dress on last night and got very teary when I looked in mirror and said out loud "its very weird when you can finally look at yourself and not hate what you see looking back". It was a very beautiful moment. Hoping to wear dress again soon. If not, I'll whack it on and get all fancy and take pics just to show you! Lol.
Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. If you look at my ticker you'll see that its not too long until I'm back in hospital for my biopsy. My new blog with Sami is all about my Coeliac disease but will post about it on here though too. Diet will be completely changing as of Tuesday. Will be very interesting!
Thanks Myf for comments on my photo gallery. The comment that most struck me and will stick with me for awhile was the one about how I looked "less haunted" YOU ARE SO RIGHT. And I've never looked at it before like that. My quote I've been longing for to be true of myself now is:
"Not only is another world possible, but she is on her way. On a quiet day I can hear her breathing".
-skinny "blessed, loved, inspired, amazed, joyful" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 11:18 PM
Friday, August 8, 2008
New photos up of me and my trip away!
Next few days I will add photos of my pandora reward bracelet, HOPEFULLY a photo of me once again getting under 100, a photo of me 5 months banded on the morning of my biposy (Tuesday) and a comparison photo to see how far I've come!
Party is tonight! Looking forward to it very much! Hopefully I will be able to have a few drinks and not get completely trashed!
No win at netball tonight. But I did get told that I was doing really well and running alot and should try "centre"....my response- AH NO! Lol. Not ready just yet. My back is playing up (had a bulging disk two years ago) and hopefully next week I can go to my amazing masseuse and get that fixed. I want to start gym next week as previously stated so I don't want this to get in the way!
Weighed in this morning at 100.4. So I'm getting there again!
Hope everyone enjoys there friday!
-skinny "soon to be under 100 AGAIN" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 1:01 AM
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Yo yo yo!
The wonderful Sami and myself have started a new blog up about our battle with Coeliac diease.
Please go check it out, its fairly new so cut us some slack! Lol. All supportive comments are welcomed, and of course, comments on here are also very helpful and groovy!!
Thanks for your comment Myf- I KNOW i need to stop beating myself up over the scales. And I KNOW i need to live life instead of living on scales. Thanks for that. I will make sure I do it.
One week left of eating whatever I like until no more. I am really excited to be honest with you. There will definately be a weight loss! Sweeet! And gym starts up Monday which I'm also surprisngly looking forward too!
-skinny biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 12:19 AM
Monday, August 4, 2008
Had a wonderful weekend away. Ate more than I think I should! And the scales agree- I'm 101.4! Oh no!
Next Tuesday I have my biopsy for Coeliac diease. So after that I am ok to eat gluten free. Me and the wonderful Sami (check out her blog) are going to do it together and hoping to drop the kilos in the beginning really quickly.
I am going to be writing up mini goals in the next few days for everyone to see. Hopefully I can kick my butt into gear with the exercise too when I get the next two weeks over with- I am so swamped!
Anyone know how to drop 1.5 kilos quickly? That would be super, thanks!
-skinny "well rested" biddy :0)
Posted by Bridget Parker at 7:03 PM