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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

My life as it was, as it is, and as it will be.....

I am way too sentimental. I am way too emotional. But I guess I have a right to be. 2008 was the year of my life. I started my life this year. Total re-birth.
This time last year I look back on and it feels surreal, and bittersweet. That poor girl. That poor shell of a girl. She was so lost. So hopeless. In such desperate need of help- she needed saving from herself. I remember her being sure (like every other year) that the next year would be different. In all honesty I think maybe it was another cop out. She was pretty sure that not much was to amount of her life- that she was plod along in life, falling through the cracks, not living her dreams just dreaming of them.
I can't talk about her as me. I don't know her anymore and I can tell you now, that I never will be back at that place. So its with joy that I am tonight saying goodbye to her. Letting her go once and for all. She won't weigh me down anymore.
Its about this time last year that the frustration of my weight/life really hit me. Taking you back to the beginning of 2008- in a few days time I was to learn about lap band surgery. It is all so weird for me. Thinking of that moment- when I decided to take control of my life. What a moment!
I could honestly sit here all night and relive every amazing experience (and yes, the bad ones too) but Im going to keep them locked here in my heart. And smile all night thinking of them.

So, 2009. Wow you poor bugger! You've certainly got a lot of expectation on you. But I know that the next year of my life will be just as amazing. My resolutions for 2009 are:

  • Smile
  • Stay focused on your goals
  • Stay positive
  • Get out of that stupid box you put yourself in and let loose
  • Dream big dreams- they can come true if you allow them
  • Fall in love with my body (then fall in love with a man)
  • Get to my goal weight
  • Drink more water
  • Exercise after work
  • Forgive the past and leave it there

I hope that wherever you are tonight, you take a minute to stop and really smile. Awknowledge your beauty and your power. Praise yourself for your accomplishments. Have a brilliant night, and I'll see all my beautiful blog followers in 2009.....


Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cleaning....

So I've been on holidays for a week. What have I done, nothing. I havent done any of the numerous assignments I've got piled up waiting for me to start, I havent exercised, I havent even had a proper days food. I think I am exhausted mentally and physically. But I've had enough. I am sick of staying up until 4 a.m (reading), getting up crazy late, and doing nothing productive in my day.
I have had a huge cloud looming right above me with the sister issue. Shes gone thankgod. But she still seems to be fucking us all over. I decided today that I needed to clean her room. I hadnt been in it since the window incident those weeks ago. The room needed a major clean and I thought it might be a good idea for me to be the one to do it. So I've spent the last few hours cleaning away. I rearranged her room and put some little bridget touches to it- pillows, wall ornaments etc. If any of you had seen her room you would flip at my end result. She never kept her room tidy or clean. No one understood how she could live in such mess. Under her bed was the worst, knives and forks, leftover food, cigarettes, glass etc...
Food wise, I could eat a horse. I've noticed my fucked up eating habits since then. I won't eat proper meals, I snack all day. When I do eat its nothing substantial. Bring on next Monday I say. I am only getting .2-.3 put in, but that will make all the difference..
I've missed blogging. My heart hasn't been in it. I think my need for it has come back. It was such a cleansing thing for me. But I think I got too scared of what people were reading, afraid I was revealing too much. This blog might take a change of course sometimes, banding life and "normal" life begin to intertwine after a certain amount of time being a bandster. Let's see where it takes me.
Tomorrow night I have no New Years plans. That kinda blows. Ive never been huge on it to be honest with you. But I want to do something spesh, celebrate my amazing rollercoaster year, and bring in the one in which I know I'll get to my goal weight... I'll make sure I post my resolutions too :0)







Friday, December 26, 2008

Full Tummy

Hey guys,

I am soooooooooo full. I hate it. I hate being able to eat so much. HATE HATE HATE IT! I cannot wait until Jan 5th. I hate not feeling like Im in control. I hate that I feel like a fat elephant.
So the plan is- drink shit loads of water and keep a food diary. I am going to make sure I stick to it. No more little treats. I have 5 boxes of chocolates here. I gotta get rid of them. I dont want them. Im thinking friends are getting late Xmas presents... lol.....
Santa is coming for me tomorrow. I spent Xmas alone unfortunately.
I had a date today. First offical date. IT SUCKED. Lol. My friend bailed me out. I am fine with the suck factor. I learnt heaps. I CAN go out on a date. And I can put myself out there. That I have nothing to lose :0)
I also learnt this week that I can drink. I am now best friends with Riccadonna. We love each other. Since last weekend I didnt drink because I didnt think I could. Everytime I drank Id get a sore throat after a few sips. Now it doesnt take me much at all to get tipsy. I am right now and Ive had one and a half. Heheehe. But its good to know I can drink...
All for now...




Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Holidays

Hi Guys,



Sorry no blogging- figured everyone's too busy to read anyways. Lol.

Just want to wish everyone a very merry "whatever you celebrate" day..... I hope that for those who have changed either their bodies or their mindsets this year smile extra hard during this time.... we deserve all the happiness in the world. To those who are yet to have anything physically change- remember this time- because soon it will be no more! And you'll look back on photos of Christmas this time next year with pride...

Fill out is amazing. Ive put on weight (or kilo or so) but I couldnt care less. This is what I needed right now. I want to tell you all about the reasons why I have been so stressed during the last few weeks. But I dont have the time. And I really dont want to write it out, to relive that Saturday night when I was attacked.
Fill is getting put back in on Jan 5th. I am looking forward to not eating burgers (yeah.... they are friggen easy to eat and I can slowly see my pre banding eating habits trickle back in) and getting back into the swing of things...
Funny fact: I recieved around 8 boxes of chocolates from my beautiful kids at preschool this week. As I was getting box after box I became overwhelmed with them. This time last year I would have been in my element. Now, I am looking at them thinking "meh..... whatever" ..... kinda cool!
Myf- have a lovely birthday tomorrow!!











Thursday, December 18, 2008

GOOOOOOOOD

I went to the surgeon today and got .5mls taken out. It has made SUCH a huge difference!
I went out to dinner tonight with friends and was able to eat without any issues whatsoever. First time in a week. I am so happy! Surgeon said that I can get fill put back in on Jan 5th if I felt I needed to. Now, its time for me to be sensible. I cannot get too crazy with the food. I dont want to put on.
According to the Dr- im 3 months ahead of schedule. I am at my goal for the 12 month mark and have lost 52% of my excess weight. I can honestly say that I am happy. I am happy with my progress and this process. I am glad I am losing at the rate that I am. I took photos last night. I am still in awe. How cool is it to look at a photo of yourself and dig it. Simply look at it and say "Bridget- you are one hot biatch!" Lol.....
Off for now....
So much to say but I need sleep.... promise to tell you more soon....
Check out december pics guys!






Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Stressed

Getting fill out tomorrow. I am not pbing- im throwing up after I eat. Like HEAVING!! And I also have a sharp stitch like pain in my stomach.
Stress is a mother fucker let me tell you that much.
Will let you know how I go tomorrow and try and put a decent post together....



Sunday, December 14, 2008

Time Off

I'm taking the week off blogging. I haven't been to bed yet. I've had the police and ambulance officers here. Someone who shall remain nameless decided to smash a glass window into my face. I am ok, I have cuts on my face and arms. I am in huge shock.
I need time to register all this and reflect.
I should have been badly injured but for some reason I wasn't. I had glass all through my top yet I'm ok.
There was so much blood.... it was so scary. I'm still scared....





Friday, December 12, 2008

I dunno....

Howdy,

Feeling a little better tonight. I did just throw up. But I am really confused. I don't think its a throw up or a pb. Its mainly mucus. I do have a cold and I'm thinking that the mucus is sitting there and not letting stuff go down or something. I don't know. Whatever. If this continues all weekend I'm getting some out on Monday.
Its all weird.
Thanks Tammy but I'm not pregnant. Lol. I actually thought that was hilarious. Lets just say thats pretty bloody impossible and would had to have been a few years delayed reaction. Lol.
That reminds me of the boy. The boy who I am trying not to be interested in but thats not happening. The boy who I haven't met but really want to. The boy who I have a really good feeling about. The boy who lives over 6 hours away. It sucks. On the plus side, he seems to be planining on buying me a present. Why else would he ask if I like necklaces in gold or white gold. Hehehee....
Have a great weekend buddies.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Biggest Fear

Since having the band my biggest fear has been getting a stomach bug. Seems it has come true. Not only do I have a cold and my friend visiting, I have a fucken stomach bug. It was really weird for me to establish that I had one. I noticed after eating I was throwing up. Now the difference was that I wasnt having any issues eating the food- it didnt seem stuck. I had a sudden wage of nausea then would run to the bathroom because I knew I wanted to be sick. It is super hard to explain folks so hope you can bare with me. So I'm staying away from food at the moment. I don't feel hungry at all, actually feeling replused by everything. I'm not throwing up heaps, I will monitor it- if I feel its a little too much Im hitting the hospital to get something to stop it.
Nothing much else to report. Scales are not being touched. Now that would be silly. Started Xmas shopping. I hate it. So many people pushed into small shops freaks me out man!
There is a boy. (Guess there was more to report than I thought) We;ve been talking for aaaages. He disappeared for a few months and relocated further away from me. We've never met but we've had this thing for each other that seems to be growing. Its gotten to a point where the boy is saying things like " id come see you every weekend". This is weird for me. The boy was always the kind you dont bring home to mother or father. He was a bad boy who was single but never alone. Hes utterly charming and cute. Do I meet him? I want to, my stupid little "old bridget" voice is saying "he wont like you bridget, you are replusive" and thats fucking this all up....
Babysitting ALL DAY tomorrow. Argh. I am not looking forward to that, especially when Im sick. Kids are going to have to entertain themselves me thinks!

-skinny "facing her throw up fear" biddy :0S

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oh bugger

Dad bought new scales today. I knew we needed them since the old ones would tell me 5 different readings and I had to basically use the reading that came up the most. Lol. Apparently these are really good- well they are really good. They read the same as the fancy doctors one. Hence I am 2 kilos heavier on them! So with a full days meals, fluid from upcoming friend I'm 95. Ouch. Don't think I'll make my Christmas goal. We'll see...
-bridget




One hour later:
I can't eat a thing.... I'm getting sick and I'm hormonal. Cruskits won't even go down. Tomorrow I'm on liquids, opti and soup

Monday, December 8, 2008

Yay!!

I offically got the job today! Soooo stoked!
This means I now have more stability. I will always have money coming in. I will now be able to do my diploma through my centre. It means 3 more years of studying. It means I finally got what I've wanted since I was little but was too afraid to go after it.
This is pretty exciting

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Two posts, one day?????

Ok, SNAP OUT OF IT BRIDGET!
It's time to own up....
I've had a SHOCKING few days of food. Starting with Friday... heres the scoop

Fri- yum cha, chocolate and chinese (I had chicken and cashew... nothing battered)
Sat- chocolate and fettucine bosciola
Sun- here we go.... since I'd been eating crap I thought I may as well top the weekend off with a nice dinner of mcdonalds. AH NO. Not once, but twice, did I pb it. I kept going- went back to it later. Well, that certainly did snap me outta it.

I feel like shit. My skin feels like its oozing out grease and my hair looks like shit (and I just washed it) BACK TO BUSINESS....
Hard thing is that tomorrow we have our preschool xmas concert/party in which there is mountains of shittyness food. But, I will survive. I gotta get back onto the horse and ride it all over my Xmas goal. I lost focus. But I'm back on top of it.
Back to daily food diaries...
Will leave scales until next week. I'm due this week (hence shitty food) and I don't want to completely screw my head up entirely.

-skinny "I'm awake!!" biddy :0)

Floating

Lost that motivation, desire etc. I kinda think thats a good thing. You can definately get obsessed with trying to lose weight, the scales and every morsel that hits your lips.
Not feeling 100% tonight. Had a yummy fettucine bosciola from the lovely italian restuarant down the road. However my stomach hasnt liked it and Im feeling really sick. I havent eaten such great foods in the last two days because I've been out. So Im feeling really yuck. Thats a good indicator for me however. Because I've been eating quite well and the last few days of shittyness have caused a reaction. It's good because now I will be able to keep myself in better check. I won't eat shit as much because I dont want to feel shit.
Shit I said shit a lot. Lol
Scales are 92/93. I'm due this week so I am expecting that to go up further. I better not have ANY fluid on Monday- I have the preschool Xmas concert and I'm wearing a tightish top and I dont wanna have a fluid baby on board. Especially when there will be photos.
I am a little disheartened with the weight. Want to be under 90 so much. Im so busy Im not getting to the gym and working hard on food (count out last few days). Still have time. It might happen. I'd adore it.
I was looking at the BMI. When I get to 81 I'll be "prone to health risks" lol. 10 kilos to go until I'm prone to health risks. Man the BMI is a harsh mother fucker. IGNORE!
All for now. I'm tired and desperate to get back to reading the Twilight series. Me, addicted? Never!!! lol.


-bridget

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Gimme A Few

Hey guys, feeling a little flat, not much to say banding wise. I will post in a few days. I know silly season has hit and everyone is busy, I definately am. Back down in the 92's. Eating chocolate tonight. Don't care. Lol. Tastes brilliant.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

No No No

I will not weigh myself for 2 weeks until this hormone crazed fluid phase is behind me

I will not weigh myself for 2 weeks until this hormone crazed fluid phase is behind me

I will not weigh myself for 2 weeks until this hormone crazed fluid phase is behind me

Monday, December 1, 2008

Knew It

I knew that this bliss wouldn't last long. I'm a little hormonal resulting in scales jumping from 91.5 to 93 overnight. Not paying attention to it. I know its not real weight. My boobs are sore, my face is fat and I feel like an elephant. Scales would equal certain death right now.
My sister is on a plane as we speak. She's coming home again (she was home for 6 days last time).Shes planning on staying until after Xmas. Shes decided pregnancy isn't for her (if u know what i mean), so shes having that sorted out this week. I dont really want to talk about it on here much more because I don't want it to trickle down to someone and cause issues. But yeah....
No news on job front yet. I just want boss to call girl and confirm so I can feel 110% sure ab0ut it all happening.

Over the weight right now. Meh.
Off to an inservice. YUCK. PLEASE KILL ME ALREADY!!! I've already got a headache and that will surely make it worse!

-bridget

Saturday, November 29, 2008

FINALLY

Ok so I'm having a pretty brilliant week. Not only did I jump on the scales this morning to see 91.5----- (with a loss this week of 1.9 kilos. Eating will make you lose weight people, remember that!) BUT I just found out that I have the job at preschool!!!!!!!!
I am so stoked. Things have done such a 180 in my life. In such a short space of time I've found myself. I've found a part of myself that once I didn't even dare dream of. I've found smiles, laughter, joy, happiness, success, confidence, friends, life. Life.
My mind cannot even begin to process this journey so far. I think when it finally hits me it's going to hit hard.
I am so close to my Christmas goal. 1.6 kilos away from being under 90 kilos. 500 grams away from having lost 30 kilos in 9 months.

I'm going out tonight to celebrate!

-skinny biddy

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Good results keep on coming in!

I weighed in today at 92.5! Yay! So since I've started eating breakfast on Monday, I've lost 900 grams! Maybe we should start a facebook fan group for breakfast? I'd totally join now!

Breakfast- 1/2 mango
Lunch- 4 cruskits with cheese, ham and sweet mustard pickles
Snack -popcorn
Dinner- I'm attempting Chicken Bolognaise but I'm really not hungry. Think I'll leave it.

Funny how different each day is. Yesterday I had no issues at all with band and could eat my food no problem. Today I forgot to eat as much because I didn't feel hungry at all, but eventually remembered and did. Lol. Usually I could eat a heap of popcorn. Not anymore. Hadn't had it since last fill and I can tell the difference. For a little while there I thought I wasnt ever going to eat to my sweet spot. Totally feel like I'm there! Loving it all right now!

-skinny "I'm getting there!!!!"biddy :0)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

The Magic of Breakfast

Ok.... I'm converted. I am a fan of breakfast. I've lost 500 grams in the last few days- since I've started eating breakfast. I'm not eating much, but at least something is going into my stomach.

Todays food:

Breakfast- 1/3 of a mashed banana
Snack- handful nuts
Lunch- shepherds pie
Snack- chocolate milk (had a craving hehehe)
Dinner- Fish and veggies

Not more work for the week for me. I'm really glad. I've had such a hard few weeks/months that the next few days I plan on relaxing and having a good time. Tomorrow I have no plans except to sleep in and do a tafe assignment. I feel a little guilty (not too much though hehe) because I haven't done a thing for tafe in a month. I'm bored with it.

All for today. Thanks for the motivating comments guys. I appreciate it

-skinny "closer to the xmas goal" biddy :0)

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

My Lightbulb Afternoon

Came home from an exhausting day at work and wanted to jump into bed for a few hours. I was wiping off my makeup when I noticed something strange below my neck. MY COLLARBONES. Lol. Ok, I have this thing about collarbones. I've never really seen mine and always wanted to be apart of that crowd. So I was super stoked!
Next cool thing was that I bought this sweet dress off ebay- orange and grey, in a size 14. I thought I'd use it as inspiration for my Christmas goal. I got it this afternoon. Thought for a little laugh I'd try it on. Holy fuck it fits! Me+ size 14...... whoa. Havent fitted into one of those babies since I was 15/16! Huge huge thing! Makes those frustrating numbers on the scales mean a whole lot less.

Todays food:

Breakfast- 1/2 a mango (i used to HATE mango. I've been craving it- super cool!)
Snack- 4 grapes plus a little birthday cake from a kiddies bday today
Lunch- 3 cruskits with pink salmon plus lettuce and a kraft slice of cheese (all i can say is ewwww processed- somethings changed with the old tastebuds!)
Snack- handful nuts
Dinner- Shepherds Pie + veggies

Thanks so much to those who have given me feedback for my food. Yes lpg- I've realised they do go down a little too well those crackers and cheese, thats why I opted for nuts today. Handful keep me full for ages!
Anonymus... thanks so much. I've cut out the juice, keeping the nut/dried fruit combo but only every other day I think. Will go back to yoghurt (needed a break, was having it everyday) and rice cakes in arvo.

Smiles all around...
-skinny "getting somewhere and loving the journey, slow as I might feel it is going" biddy :0)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Smiles

Had a great day today. The work issue resolved itself without my having to do anything. The woman at work was in a brilliant mood and told me that last week she was very hormonal. So not me, hormones. Damn those bitches! They cause such issues!
Food for today

B- juice (apple, orange, pineapple) - lbg- totally taking on your advice, it was way too sweet for me so im sticking too soft fruit for breakkie
S- grapes,cashews and dried banana
L- egg and lettuce cruskits (4)- i totally didnt need 4. 2 would have been enough
S- crackers and cheese
D- attempt at chicken meatballs


Am I eating too much? Should I reduce portion size and eat more often?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Tweeking It

I don't normally have anything for breakfast. I usually drink liquids up until lunchtime. I haven't been eating nearly enough fruit and veggies so I went out today and bought a ton of fruit to make a morning fruit juice to take to work and have as my breakfast. That way I have something in my little tum tum and I'm getting the majority of my daily fruit needs.
I will also attempt to keep an online food log so you can let me know how I am going. Hehe.
Back to the gym tomorrow. Will go after work and do minimum of 45 minutes. I plan to go AT LEAST 3 times a week. Now that I am back to doing 3 days a week and my sister issue has died down a little I can get back into my routine. I'm missing it.
Today I went and bought some new jeans. I was jumping up and down with the kiddies last week and they started to fall down. I look like I need to join a gang in them they are so baggy. So off I went to buy them. I bought one pair in Crossroads for $19.95 and thought that was brilliant. Nope, even better- I bought a pair in Millers for $9.95!!! Holy Cow! I'm thinking I might go back on Tuesday afternoon and buy another two pairs, of smaller sizes. With that price I can't turn it down! I also bought some new undies. Kmart- 10 pairs for $20! Sweet!!
Gotta love a bargain...
I'm having issues at work at the moment. Its been hard for me with everything going on with my family life and I havent been my bubbly self. I probably havent been as nice as I could at work. The woman I work with has been a little off with my lately. Not sure if it has to do with me or something else. Apparently she said she didnt want to come to the work xmas party. I hope its nothing to do with me. I have been thinking about it all weekend and have decided tomorrow I am just going to ask her if she is ok, tell her that I know I havent been myself but I am slowly getting there and apologise if I have done anything to upset her. I am not someone who likes the thought that Ive done something to upset someone. It definately would be unintentional. I hope it gets resolved. I hate that I feel so yuck about work.
Stuck on 93.4. Its ok, I'll get passed it. But the increased determination at the moment is because I want to get to my goals. The goals are to be under 90 for Xmas.... so close... 93.5 kilos away! I have a month to do it in. Achieveable? I think so. I just gotta get my arse moving and watch the food I'm putting into my mouth.

-skinny "push me to my goal guys!" biddy :0)

p.s... new november photos up on my photo gallery ......

Friday, November 21, 2008

Rollercoaster

My sister left today, back to Perth (she only came home Saturday). It was only decided last night so it's been very fast and very emotional. I said goodbye to her this morning before I left for work. I arrived at work in big sunnies covering my red swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks.
Work is giving me the shits. I am definately in need of a break. Every little thing is getting to me. I used to enjoy every aspect of it. Now I think the honeymoon period has ended. After the stressful two months I've had without a break I think thats also gotten to me. There might be some resentment there that I couldn't take any time off to take it all in whilst everyone else went on their lovely holidays. I still have no idea as to my plans next year. All still up in the air.
Band wise I am eating very little portions. I drink as much fluid as possible and that it filling for me up until lunchtime at 1.15 pm. Then I have leftovers from previous nights dinner, come home and have a teeny snack, then dinner. I am over food. I'll work on food in a few days. I think with the week I've had food has been the last thing on my mind. Funny though, stress and food used to go hand in hand. Now its not the case. Very good.
The sister would never say it to me but she told mum I looked great and was slightly envious. She's always been the "skinny one" and now the tables have turned. I thought I would feel some kinda power over her now its finally happened. Not the case. I feel sad for her. Shes where I was for all those years. She can't be helped. She wont take it.
Exercise will start again next week when all the drama has died down. I'm also back to 3 days a week so it'll give me days off to fit it in. I am looking forward to it! My membership expires in Feb so hopefully the job situation has worked out because I dont want to be without the gym.
Havent checked the scales in a few days. Weird things are going on. 95, then 93, then 91, then 95, then 93. Scales are broken I think. I'm not in denial, I know somethings up because a few days ago I hopped on and it read 95, tried again and it was 93. Off to buy new ones!
No plans this weekend which Im truly greatful for. I plan to sleep in tomorrow, probably go shopping (even though I really couldnt be bothered lol) for new underwear. My bras are crazy stupid now with the massive change in boobie size so I gotta get measured. I also wanna try Jeans West to see how the clothes are on me. I havent dared enter them in years. I am a little hesitant because I'm scared nothing will fit and I'll go off the rails. Deep down I know thats old Bridgy talking. I will do it. Might wait until I can go shopping with someone though. I dont want to bawl my eyes out in Jeans West alone. Lol.
I recieved a response to the article written in Cleo magazine. It basically said thanks for the feedback but write to the author. I was very disappointed. I know that there will always been losers who write negative articles. I've read a few, that one just pissed me off because it was in a magazine I've read for a long time, I expected more!
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Do something special for yourself, you deserve it
-bridget

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

ENRAGED!!!!

I was casually laying on my bed reading Cleo, a magazine that I've been reading since I was 15. I AM SO PISSED OFF.....
There is an article on page 172 entitled "7 secrets the weight loss industry will never tell you". Secret 3 is:
"SURGERY IS ALWAYS DANGEROUS"
We're watching an explosion in the growth of the type of surgery almost unimaginable until recently- baratric (or "weight loss") surgery. There are two main methods used: bypass and banding, with banding more popular due to its quicker recovery time and seeming simplicity. I'm convinced that the vast majority of people choosing to have their stomachs cut open or plastic devices installed inside them don't need to. In fact, they'd be better served by working to change their lifestyles and becoming healthier by using food as medicine rather than a mechanical intrusion to the body, with all the inherent risks. "The simple fact about WLS is that these patients need nutrional support, counselling and effective behaviour modification. There is no evidence that WLS makes people healthy"says US consumer health advocate Mike Adams. So leave the operations for the people who actually need surgery to save their lives"

I AM SORRY BUT NO. THE WHOLE ARTICLE IS FLAWED..... I couldnt help myself, I had to email the editor, here is what I've said:

To Whom It May Concern,

I have read this magazine since I was 15 years old. I buy it every month and love laying in bed turning every page. However this month I was massively offended by an article you had in your Decemeber issue entitled "7 secrets the weight loss industry will never tell you". Secret number 3 discussed the topic of weight loss surgery. 9 months ago I had weight loss surgery and have to date, lost 29 kilos. For your "whistleblower" to say "there is no evidence whatsoever that bariatric surgery makes people healthy" is COMPLETELY false. I could tell you numerous stories of people I know who have had their lives saved by WLS. One such person is my father. He had the gastric band 6 weeks after me. Without having lost much weight at all, my father went from being type 2 diabetic, suffering sleep aponea and high blood pressure, to being completely cleared of all three issues. Is it also proven that the gastric band can cure diabetes. "No evidence whatsoever that bariatric surgery makes people healthy"...... hmmm that doesn't seem to measure up now does it?
How about the mental health of people who have had WLS? I myself could not imagine my life without this surgery 9 months ago. As sad as it is, Im not sure if I would have one. I was very depressed and my body image was down the drain, I couldn't even leave the house.
"So leave the operations for people who actually need surgery to save their lives"...... another enraging statement from this completely ill informed person. Like I said, without this surgery I wouldnt be alive. My mental health or physical health would have killed me soon enough. As well as my father. And thousands more people I know and talk to on a daily basis on the LIFE SAVING gastric banding.
Next flaw in this article is the statement "with banding more popular due to its quicker recovery time and seeming simplicity". There is nothing simple about being banded. If you read my blog or talked to anyone who is banded, they know that this is a daily thing we live with. People who are soon to be banded also know this, as they are informed at the compulsory information session you attend pre-banding.
It is also stated in this enraging article that people need nutrional support, conselling and effective behaviour modifications. It implies that we are not given this. Completely false. I have been seeing a dietician since pre banding, my surgeon as well as another doctor once a month to discuss all issues I have with the band.
Does this "whistleblower" honestly think someone wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says "wow, i packed it on, i better go have WLS!". WLS is always the last resort. Its proven that obesity is an ILLNESS. And all those diets, we've tried them. And the frustrating "eat well and exercise", yeah, we've all done that too. Doesn't work for us. So for him to be convinced that the vast majority of people who have WLS dont need to , it just does not make sense.
I honestly could continue but I don't know if there is any point. In future, you need to watch what you print. You need to double check you facts, because I would bet MY BAND that any surgeon who performs WLS could pick several holes in this article, just like I have.
I am honestly unsure if I will continue reading this magazine. I am truly offended. I have posted your article, as well as this letter on my blog that is read my any banded people. If you want to know further feedback the link is below,
-bridget

http://bridgetparker.blogspot.com


p.s.... please post your comments!!
p.ps.... please read my previous post... need your help :0)

Oh Bugger!

There goes the magical 92.1 on the scales. Apparently I'm back up to 94.3. What the hell? I am trying not to let the increase on the scales to get to me but its confusing. I was getting so bloody close people! Here are my thoughts, today I felt a little fluidy, I could tell the difference in my face (being a little puffier than normal). So maybe it has to do with that? Also, because I had gone from not eating much at all to starting to eat again my stupid body has been holding onto those mother fucking calories because it was paranoid I'd never fed it again. Well, body, I'm here to say "NO! THAT WILL NOT DO! TRUST ME, YOU'LL GET FOOD, YOU'LL GET PLENTY OF FOOD. JUST CUT ME SOME SLACK AND DROP THOSE FEW KILOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Can you tell I'm a little pissed?
So what now guys? How do I drop these kilos? I'm back at gym next week. But food wise, please help!

-bridget

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Last few days....

Hi Guys,

Band land has been challenging this week. Its improved each day as I thought it would. I know have realy good restriction and just need to learn how to best use it to my advantage. I havent had this type of restriction before. I finally feel like I'm banded in a sense of before this fill I could eat lots of foods that most banded people can't eat (like burgers!!!!). So now its time for me to learn how to deal with this and best use the restriction in my favour and eat the most wholesome foods I can.
Checked out my weight loss ticker? I'm pretty stoked. Actually in awe. I've got 2.2 kilos to go before I'm offically 89.9- UNDER 90!! My goal was to get there by Christmas Day, well we've got 6 weeks left until the big day, ah, yeah, I can totally do that! Add in the exercise I plan to start again (with being sick and stress at home it was the last thing on my mind) we have a winner there.
The sister came home yesterday. Well technically this morning at 1 a.m. She seems ok, we cant really talk about baby because she gets snappy. I havent seen much of her so hopefully she returns home from friends place so I can spend some time with her.
Not looking forward to working a full week this week. Im not against working 5 days a week, its not a lazy thing. I just don't want to be there. I am over it. I've realised I am giving way to much of myself to a job that I don't even know that I will have next year. I will not use my unpaid weekends to do preschool shit. I will not. I am putting me first.
Thats all for now. Anyone wanna give me yummy recipes or anything I'd appreciate them. For some reason all my passion for cooking has disappeared and my food ideas are out the window!!!!

-skinny "getting closer to that 89.9" biddy :0)

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Bitchy Barbie

Hi Guys,

So in combination of being sick, being hormonal, being stressed and just having a fill Im having a shocker. Sticking to liquids for the time being. Just pb'd my attempt at dinner- Easy Mac. So as of tomorrow I'm doing Opti-fast for a few days. You are probably wondering why I am not going back to Dr right away to get fill out. Its because I know in a few days I'll be fine, when my little friend arrives things will be better, I'll have the opposite problem- I'll eat too much! But like I said before, I am not going to be silly about it at all. I am going to monitor it and see how its all going.
My sister told us last week that she is pregnant. She has just moved to Perth (left two months ago on her 18th birthday) and shes now 7 weeks. Its been a huuuuugge shock. Shes coming home on Saturday and Im really excited. The past few days Ive experienced a huge range of emotions. I was sad because being the oldest I thought I would have children first and offer her advice on how to raise hers (its a big sister thing and ive had a few other big sisters tell me they felt the same, so i didnt feel so selfish!). I was annoyed because I adore children. I think about being a mother every day. When I was 18 I was told it might be harder for me to have children, I work with children. She didnt seem phased about this next amazing step in her life. Then I was sad again because shes in Perth and I dont want to miss out on all this. I wanna be able to see ultrasounds, help make yummy healthy food and talk to her about baby names! But now shes coming home for a few weeks Im excited to see her and share some of her journey. I am worried however that all this will be too hard for her. Especially being away from family over in another state. Anyway.... thats the issue.
Hope all is well. Im gonna try and de stress for the next 4 days to get this band looser. Opti Slim tomorrow- mmmm chocolate spearmint is yummy!!!
-bridget
p.s.... will be taking heaps of photos this weekend. promise to post them!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Ok, now I get it

I am super stressed. I went home sick on Friday and had today off. I've also called in sick for tomorrow and Wednesday (I have a short week this week). I am suffering from a major cold and have a huge family crisis happening. Today I've noticed it hit me band wise. I can't do food, only liquids. Great for the weight loss....... Im joking. I'm going to address it if it lasts longer than a week.
I want to open up and tell you the issue but I think I might wait a little longer.
Its pretty much taken over my life since it happend a few days ago. Im not coping. I fainted on Friday night from the stress of it all.
No exercise because of cold and im not in the mood at all.
Things are hard at home like I said, so today something really meaningful happend for me. Dad gave me his ring that his mother gave to him in 1981. Its Sterling Silver and has black onyx. It was a really nice moment, so im wearing it and wont let it out of my sight!
In response to the title of the blog, I totally get now why people who are stressed turn to "easy foods" to eat. Foods that go down super well that might be not so great calorie wise. I havent done that, but I just understand it now.
Off to attempt to eat something. If not, drink something.

-bridget

Friday, November 7, 2008

Sick as a Dog

I never understood that saying........

I left work early today. Not something that I have ever done before. Usually I battle through. I decided that I needed rest so I went home. Before I went home I had to go to the shops and buy things for my craft program next week. Boss is meant to pay me back everytime I buy something, I spent $70.... I totally didn't mean to. I feel kinda bad about that, its a lot of money in our small little centre. I do need the stuff.... maybe give her the reciepts every few weeks? Lol. That way it doesnt seem as big an amount.... lol.
Fill going well. Its perfect actually. I am never hungry (being sick also would make band tighter) and eating very small amounts. Drinking lots of water because Im sick. I am not having major issues getting things down. Today I've had a sweet thai chilli chicken wrap. One half for lunch and eating the other half right now for dinner.
Got my work Xmas party dress this afternoon!! I tried it on and it fits perfectly. Most revealing dress I've ever bought. Big step for me. I will take photos of it when Im feeling better. The major thing for me though is that I bought a dress from that store mid July and it was a 24.... this one is a 16. So although the weight on the scales has only changed 7 or so kilos (I cant remember), my dress size has massively changed. TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT PEOPLE!!
Tomorrow I will try and have a decent sleep in, then its washing 100 bottles and cutting out 100 of each- candy canes, stars, balls, xmas trees and stockings. Argh! Lots to do. So little time!
Last night I had a major, life changing event happen in our family. I dont feel ready to let you know what happened, but our family is in crisis mode. All trying to comes to terms with it. I can honestly say that if I didnt have the band, if I hadnt lost the weight and become a stronger person, i'd be ruined right now. The spirtuality course is helping me big time too...
Have a wonderful weekend friends,

-bridget

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Like You Said

Woke up sick again today. Worse than yesterday. Nothing major, just a cold in which has zapped all my energy and made me feel like complete crap. Working a full week again this week and finding it hard to get through. One more day left thankgod!
Last night's support group was good. We expected a much bigger turn out from the interest that was shown, around 50-60 people. We had 12 people show up. But it was our first one so we shouldnt have expected too much. Hopefully our December one brings some of the people that said they were interested. It was still a really good meet up.
This arvo I went for a fill. I felt like shit so Mum took the night off work to drive me. I got .2mls in, Dr Fill didnt measure amount of fill but said he wasnt worried about any leaking issues. I knew that would happen! Fill was worst I've had so far. Last time was bad enough with it missing the port and slipping off. This time it took 15 mins of him poking and prodding my stomach. Just before he got it he told me he was considering getting it done under Xray. But thankgod he got it! Thats not to scare future bandsters out there. If you knew me before this surgery you'd know how scared of needles I was. Im totally over it now. I can deal with that needle because of what it gives me. It gives me my life!
I am going to try and get back to the gym next week. Had a busy one and felt under the weather this week so I wasnt going to push it. Kinda missing it though. Only Kinda. Hehehe
I have put on a few kilos in the last 2 weeks. Its a combination of working out (building muscle) and hormonal issues with fluid. Grrr... hopefully with fill I can get closer to my goal of under 90 for Xmas.

All for now... i think im running a temp.... bed time!

-skinny biddy :0)

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thanks peeps!

Thankyou so much for everyone who gave me their advice. Yes it was unprofessional of him to say that to me. I will mention that to him on Thursday. I personally think I just need a fill. Not a big one, .2 or .3 would do me fine.
Yes it is very true that all bandits are different. I can eat things im sure some of you cant. The band works in mysterious ways, and being a Dr you SHOULD KNOW THAT.
Aherm...
Today I did something I havent done in a very very long time....................... i ate breakfast. Normally Barbie and I dont like food before 11 am. Today we were hungry. We ate eggs. It was yum!
Tomorrow night I have my first support meeting that Ive organised. Slightly nervous. Moreso excited at the fact that this is my little baby that is growing up before my eyes! Will be a good turn out apparently. Thats if I can find the bloody place.... wish me luck with that! Lol.
I havent been to the gym since Sunday and I wont be for at least another week. Heres my schedule:
Tuesday night: wash 90 water bottles and take lables off for music shakers
Wed: work, then meeting
Thursday: work, then fill (takes 30 mins to get there and i gotta wait for dr fill to finish surgery)
Friday: work, then programming for work
Saturday: programming for work, clean remaining bottles, start a tafe assignment, shop for things to put into water bottle music shakers for work, write out a list of what chn at preschool want for xmas on a giant santa stocking and try and make it to my friends 21st (thats not looking good with all this to do)
Sunday: course

So thats all for now. I will try and write tomorrow night after my meeting (argh!) and let you know how fill goes on Thursday. Hopefully by Sunday night I have died from exhaustion.... to think, at the beginning of the year I couldnt even leave the house. Now Im never in it!

-skinny "loves her cyber friends"biddy :0)

Monday, November 3, 2008

Fuck a Duck

So I called Fill Dr today. He apologised for not calling me back.
I told him I needed a fill and didn't want to wait 3 weeks. That I was exercising heaps and eating fairly well and could eat lots. He agreed to see me Thursday afternoon in between surgeries he needed to do. He then asked if I could eat potatoes. I said probably. I wasnt sure. He seemed worried about that answer and said "thats not good, you might have a leak in your band". Well brilliant. 8.30 am Monday morning- NOT what I wanted to hear.
I personally don't think that I have a band issue. My restriction seemed to get looser when I uped my exercise. My fills have always lasted about a month. Ive read about people who have taken over a year to get to their sweet spot. People years down the track still get fills. Its an adjustable thing. I've also heard that the faster you lose it, the more fills you will need.
Guys I need you to tell me what you think. I'm driving myself crazy here. Last thing I fucken need is another surgery. I don't think I will need it. But I know you will reassure me or tell me the truth.
I didnt go to the gym this afternoon. I stayed back at work and made a paper xmas tree to put up on the wall. I might hit it tomorrow. Cant Wednesday (might treadmill it) or Thursday as Im at the hospital right after work getting a fill. Im usually exhausted Tuesday because I have all the major cleaning at work. But Im gonna push past that.

-skinny "grrrrrrr"biddy :0)

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Fill Time!

I need a fill badly. I was trying to go without but I can't. I have three weeks until I am due for my next one. The question is, do I keep on truckin and possibly put on weight in the next three weeks, or call tomorrow and demand to talk to Dr Fill and get in earlier. 3 weeks is a long time. I am working so hard to get to my goal for Xmas and I want to make it.
Thoughts?
Went to the gym today for an hour. I loved it! Hadnt been in 3 days and missed it. Planning on going Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Wednesday I have my first CCWLSS meeting (im nervous speaking in front of all those people!!) and Thursday I have a dinner with all my netball buddies.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend :0)

-skinny "GET ME A FILL DAMMIT!"biddy :0)

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Urgh

I feel exhausted today and very nauseous. I have been so busy this week, I've worked 2 extra days, gone to gym in arvos or the shops, come home and been swamped with things to do. I havent had the chance to relax. I didnt get up until midday today and after I got home from pedi and nail infill I went to bed until 7.20 tonight.
I was planning on going to the gym yesterday, WAAAAY too hot. And I couldnt today. I set the alarm to get up, but I just could not do it!
So tomorrow I have a plan to make myself go- my car is on empty and the gym is next to my fave petrol station so I have to go so I can fill up :0)
Im also a little dizzy tonight. I didnt get a chance to eat until 4 pm today. Something I dont normally do. I was at salon getting nails done for 3 hrs- I didnt know it was going to take that long. So I think because I came home and ate my blood sugars are all over the place.
My dietician emailed me about the weight thing. She said that because its new (my exercising) I would be putting on muscle. Usually it happens more so with weights but can with cardio. So Im sticking it out for a month. I mean my clothes are looser, had to even put my belt up the next knotch on some new pants I bought...
Will post more pics this week when my computer is fixed..

-skinny biddy :0)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Grrr

So I've put on a kilo.
How could I have done that??
I'm doing cardio at the gym, not weights. So its not muscle.
I'm not hormonal, and there is no fluid that I can tell.
I am watching my carb intake, making sure Im eating veggies and protein. My portion sizes are normal. I might decrease them a little.
Any help guys? Because I am frustrated.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Slightly Annoyed

I woke up feeling starving. As if I hadn't eaten in days. My tummy grumbled. I hate that. First thing I did was call the surgeons rooms. They were engaged for 40 mins. Annoying.... I called later on in the day and tried to get an appoinment earlier than the fill I have booked in a month. They couldnt do it.
I'm pretty pissed off that I call telling them that I am in need, and they can't seem to fit me in. I wasn't expecting for them to drop everything for me. But this happens every time I try to get an appointment. The receptionist told me Dr Fill would call to organise a fill. Didn't happen. So tomorrow I'm using my new found inner tiger and calling them up to tell them I am unhappy with the service. Lol.
No exercise today. I was exhausted. Tuesdays are hard for me because I have all the cleaning to do in the afternoons at work. So I did get a workout, just not a set 30 mins on a treadmill or bike.
Tomorrow is gym day. I am planning to do an hour on the equipment. I haven't started classes yet because I am a loser and hate going alone. One of the mums at preschool goes to my gym so we are planning to go together. Might talk to her tomorrow and see when she wants to start.
I'm bidding on this lovely dress on ebay for my work xmas party. Its electric blue!! I want to wear something I wouldnt normally wear. Its going to show off some boobies thats for sure!!

-skinny "fill me up buttercup" biddy :0)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Feeling Hot Hot Hot!!

What a hot day!
Because of the heat I had a really yucky headache. I still went to the gym in the heat and with the headache. I didn't take anything for it because I was scared my band was going to bitch it up and reject tablets. So I went and hit the treadmill and the exercise bike. I could only do 30 mins and staggered out of the gym. I'm not sure how I managed to get home. It was one of those "ouch my eyes hurt" kinda ones. I got home and couldnt take it so took some panadol mini caps. Band was happy because Id attempted exercise and they went down a dream.
My band is a little looser. I don't mind that at all. I am making sure the foods I am eating are lovely and nutritious.
Heres tomorrows food diary:
B- water
M/tea- cashews/peanuts and banana bits (small handful) with a low fat strawberry yoghurt
Lunch- salad with salmon and balsamic vinegar (if still hungry either fruit puree or rest of nut mix)
Afternoon tea- if hungry either fruit puree or nut mix (whatever I didnt eat)
Dinner- Shepherds Pie

Water intake- at least 1.5 L of water
Exercise- 45 min walk on treadmill at 5.5

Loving all the changes to food and exercise. Not missing crap at all!
My goal is to be AT LEAST 89.9 for Xmas. So that means in 8 weeks I have to lose 4.5 kilos. With all the changes I've made, and especially the exercise I KNOW I can do it! It would be a dream come true to be close to the 86 mark... thats 35 kilos lost since banding.

-skinny "gonna get to the goal!!"biddy :0)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Smiles

I went clothes shopping yesterday because my clothes just looked plain stupid on me. I am super happy with my bargains! I bought 4 tops (priced at $12 each!), 3 pairs of shoes (gladiator flats- black and white and work shoes), new makeup and a maxi dress all for $210! Gotta love kmart and their constant sales! The tops are such pretty colours! I will take a pic and post them on my photo blog soon.
I am offically a 16 now! Very very very cool! Its all super exciting for me from here guys! Last time I was under 90 and under a size 16 I would have been about 15-16. It was so so so great to be able to go into a store and be able to choose. I actually had to stop myself. I could pick up anything and it would fit. It was so so so very freeing. I'm sure you guys understand.
Since Wednesday I have been working out everday. I've been to the gym three times and days I haven't been able to make it I've used to treadmill at home. I did an hr workout today and added weights into the mix also. My eating has also improved. My food before wasn't bad, but I've refined it further. Making sure I'm getting mainly protien and veggies. I went out last night for dinner. It would have been super easy for me to have something totally shitty but I didn't. I had this yummo "lifestyle wrap"that consisted of ham, feta, baby spinich, tomato, egg and tangy bbq sauce in a toasted wrap. It was heaven. I didn't wanna put shittyness into my body. Think I'm getting somewhere....
Tomorrow is the 2nd day of my spirituality course. We will be doing inner healing. I am a little- wait very- nervous. In the last 7 months I've made such a huge change, I feel that I've dealt with my weight issues. I am worried something is going to pop out at me and fuck everything up. Let's hope it doesnt! Lol.
Course is all day tomorrow so can't get to the gym. Might do a light 30 minute treadmill session after I get back. I'm sticking to this people. I want to be under 90 for Xmas. I WILL be under 90 for Xmas!
Eating isn't worrying me anymore. I think I just had a really unrestricted day the other day. I'm happy with my food at the moment. I will monitor it still like I said to make sure that the scales are going down. They bloody better with my exercise!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!
-skinny "loving the new clothes!" biddy :0)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Happy Chappy!

Had a good day at work. Wait, scratch that- I had an excellent day. I worked in the older room mainly by myself which I didn't mind. I told my boss about my recent assignment mark (92%) and she was very pleased. She asked if I wanted to go onto the Diploma and that if the girl I am working for atm on maternity leave doesnt come back, she would love me to stay on. I was over the moon!! She also told me she would be happy for me to do diploma as a trainee type situation which is bloody excellent! So now it's just a waiting game to see if I get it or not. I'll honestly be devastated if I don't. I have real high hopes.
Hit the treadmill this afternoon after work. It would have been REALLY easy for me to not do it- I was physically exhausting. I do find it hard to do after work, but I am going to push past that. Tomorrow is a day off, planning to go to the gym in the morning, then go buy some clothes (mine are too big now!), get a massage and go out to dinner and a movie with a friend.

Food Diary
B- cup of tea
Morning Tea- yoghurt an handful of cashews, peanuts and dried banana
Lunch- 2 cruskits, chicken and sweet corn soup (didnt get to finish it because I was busy at work so I was hungry when I got home)
Afternoon Tea- 2 cruskits with cheese and vegemite
Dinner- Fettucine Bosciola
After dinner- icecream (yeah im weird. I only eat icecream when its cold.)

I'm wondering if I am eating too much? My restriction does seem to have worn off compared to what it was last week. I am booked for a fill on the 24th of November. But I don't know if its wise to go that long. I am going to keep monitoring it and check the scales a little more often to see if my increase eating is affecting my band in a negative way. I know that with increased activity (exercise) I will burn more off therefore want to eat more. But yeah, we'll see how to goes. What do you guys think?

Ok I'm out. Looking forward to the 3 days I have off before I start 5 days a week. Man, now that will be interesting!

-skinny "loving my new found motivation" biddy :0)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bridgy's Got Her Mojo Back!!!

So I think I became complacent. I was over the honeymoon period and finding it hard to motivate myself. As much as I was preaching that the band is a tool, I wasn't listening to my own advice. Yes, I changed my food choices, but there wasn't as much exercise as there could have been. I've been thinking in the last few days that I don't want to look back on my first year and regret it. Not having worked as hard as I could to get as much weight off as I can. I want to look back and be able to say "I tried my best".
So with that said I headed off to the gym today for a 45 minute work out. The plan is at least 3 times a week at the gym and every other day the treadmill at home. Yes, 7 days a week.
Also tightening up the eating further. Normally I have major issues with salads (weird, huh). I took a chance and took salad and pink salmon for lunch today. I put balsamic vinegar on it which weirdly helped it go down. I didn't have any issues at all with it! So making sure I take salads as much as I can.

Todays food diary
B- nice big warm cup of tea on such a cold cold day!
Morning Tea- yoghurt and cashews (oh and a cupcake for one of the chns birthdays @ preschool)
Lunch- Salmon and salad
Dinner- fetta and spinich fish with veggies
Water- 1.5 L

I'm pretty proud of my efforts today. Keeping it up because I feel bloody awesome tonight!

-skinny "yeah hah!!" biddy :0)

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Good News

Dad went to the doctors today for results of recent blood tests- No more diabetes! I'm so so so incredibly happy for him. For years I was scared shitless that he wasn't going to be around to see my children or walk my down the aisle (even though I still reckon I will end up as the "cat woman") . But this is brilliant. Big big weight off my shoulders (now lets get rid of the other 25 kilos of weight! hehe)
Today I met up with the other facilitator of the new support group I'm involved with. She was banded a week before me and has lost 40 kilos. Well I felt like shit. Thats such an incredible loss. But in talking to her further she explained that she works out everyday and sometimes twice a day. Now as much as I wish I could do that- I definately couldn't do it. I just don't have the time, or honestly the energy. I am so used to guilting myself over things. I think I am automatically doing it over the exercise thing.
Anywhoo. The goal is to be under 90 for Xmas. I would love love love to be around 85. But thats not going to happen. I'll settle with 89. Or even 89.9!!
I know I keep saying "I have to go the the gym", Well I do. So I am. Tomorrow after work. Friday morning, and Saturday morning. 3 times this week. Better than nothing.

skinny "gonna kick that goal in the arse"biddy :0)

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Sometimes You Forget

Today I saw some relatives that I haven't seen since September last year. They knew that myself and my dad had the band and knew that we'd both lost weight. But I didn't expect my aunty to walk into the room and her eyes to be out of her head! It was the single best reaction I've gotten so far. And I felt so overwhelmed. But see, this is the thing- the whole time, and even right this very second, I am thinking "wait until they see me at my goal weight". Thats not something that I'm happy about. I need to praise myself for my efforts NOW. What I have acheieved up until this point. However, I think that a reason I am thinking ahead, not celebrating my achievements so far is because I'm damn excited! I'm so excited because this next phrase in my journey (being under 90- 5 kilos away) is the unknown for me. Last time I was under 90 was when I was 15-16.
I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror. I couldn't believe it! My skin was sooooooooooooo clear! I have tried EVERYTHING to use on my face (except roaccutance, wouldnt go near it) so I was getting super desperate. Since I've been doing the spirtuality course I've opened up a whole new world. I decided to give something alternative a go. I bought amethyst to put next to my bed. Its healing qualities include helping skin problems and correcting hormone imbalances. I don't believe in coincidences- a week after having it and I feel different. Fluid retention ALMOST COMPLETELY GONE, pms- nearly non-exsistent, skin of course clear and just feeling NORMAL. I know some people don't believe in this kinda thing, but I do. So no haters please.
Ok, thats all for tonight. Its taken me hours to write this post, halfway through I had to pick drunk mum and her drunk work buddies up and drive them all home. Resulting in my hearing loss and wine smelling car.

-skinny "what did u say, speak louder I cant hear you!"biddy :0)

Friday, October 17, 2008

Fri- Fri- Friday!

My day got off to a shitty start but gradually improved.
I think I remembered late last night/early this morning, the reason that I don't drink. I get really sick. Lesson learnt.
I wasn't having the best day restriction wise. I went out to lunch for yum cha and I lost all of it in the bathroom. This was the first time I pbéd at a restuarant but it was all fine. $16 for that, I wasn't impressed.
On the way home I got a call from Mum, my uncle who has been given 6 months or so has today been put on the transplant list for a new liver. He has an 85% chance of getting one. Apparently Dad burst into tears when he heard that. He's been in a chirper mood since then. I'm really happy for him. He was starting to worry myself and Mum. He has been down, drinking more and eating more. He SOOO needs a fill but seems he has more emotional eating issues than I really thought.
I don't think I blogged about hopping onto the scales yesterday and seeing 94.9! I was super stoked. Especially considering Mrs Fluid Fairy is lurking around. Won't weigh in again until Wednesday. But I'm super thrilled. I am 3.9 kilos away from having lost 30 kilos, and exactly 5 kilos away from being 89.9! Mind blowing!
Anywhoooo band is tight. Think its stress and hormonal. I am not going back to surgeon because I can feel the difference between too tight (like right after a fill) and stressy tight.
Have a brilliant weekend, smile lovelys

-skinny biddy :0)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hump-a-licious

Happy Hump Day! Well its almost over. Thankgod.
Ok heres the news in Bridgys world.

  • FUCKEN TAFE!!! I recieved an email 2 days ago saying "did you know if you work in the childcare field you can apply for recognition of prior learing?"FUCK ME DEAD! Excuse the language. But I am pissed off. 5 months of doing assignments that I didnt need to do. I've been working in childcare for 3 years. I qualify! So I've got 13 more modules left to do- I can apply for RPL with 11 of them. Going into work tomorrow to dicuss with the boss. Apparently she knew all along that I could do that. I'm annoyed at that too
  • Damn hormones!!! Due for the monthly bitch of a fairy in a few days so band is playing up. Weekend I had no restriction. Monday and Tuesday it was tight, and tonight its on a roll! I pbéd cheese. (Hot tip: its not fun) and had to give up trying to eat cause everything that touched my lips came up. I refuse to weigh myself on the scales. That is plain STUPID. I carry heaps of fluid for a week and a half around this time so I feel like a whale and its represented on the scales when it goes up a few kilos. Its the BEST feeling ever when I wake up one morning and its all gone. Oh to live like that everyday! That would be a dream! I'm also really emotional at the moment. Stupid hormones, did I mention that? I have been shitty at work (well actually thats with good reason. I am SICK of doing the work of 3 people!) and sometimes just want to bawl my eyes out. Ah, such is life.
  • I got my tax cheque back this week and have decided to save most of it. I want to put it into a savings account for a travel fund. I am going to get hair coloured tomorrow though. Lol. It's very scientific. See, it wont last til Xmas, so its now, then a week before Xmas. Otherwise I'll have to do it a few weeks before and I'll be all over the place. Makes sense to me....shhh... Lol.
  • Getting my nails done and a pedi on friday. Learnt the art of pampering oneself. Its bliss. Its personally a reflection of how I respect myself. Its expensive. But worth every cent!
  • Having lunch on friday with some friends. Havent seen most of them in a long time so it will be good to catch up. Most of them are bandsters and I haven't been to a lunch with fellow bandsters in awhile. Always good to go and talk about banded life and normal life too.
  • Working on a support group with my dietician and another bandster. Its for anyone in the Central Coast area who has had weight loss surgery or is about to. So if I you live in Central Coast, email me and let me know if you are interested.

Thats it for now.. Can't wait for a sleep in tomorrow!

-not so skinny, fluid rentention up to my scalp, biddy

Monday, October 13, 2008

A Case of The "BBB"'s.... Bitchy Band Barbie

Had two days of pretty much no restriction- dangerous on a weekend! Also very hormonal so that means I ate waaaay too many carbs! But thats ok, didn't dwell on it.
Of course because of said lack of restriction it paid me back today when I took that first bite (or whatever action you take when you have yoghurt) this morning. I knew with that heavy feeling from something as runny as yoghurt that it was gonna be a shitter. Its really hard to have issues when I am at work. Because I eat with the children (yeap, no lunch breaks) its super duper hard when I get something stuck to even talk. And they are talking away, barking requests at me constantly. I just walk away these days (well with someone coming to supervise them of course).
On the tattoo front, my amazingly awesome cool best friend Tegan might be coming to see me in Feb (pleeeeease) so I might go then. Its going to happen. Just when I'm not sure.
I was going to go to the gym this afternoon after work. But I find it super duper difficult. I had the worst headache and I was really tired. After a day running around after 15 two and three year olds the gym is the last thing on my mind. I'm frustrated with that. I've tried to go after work before, and I've been exhausted. To a point in which I'm screwed for the rest of the week. So yeah. Annoyed. I will make more of an effort on my days off. I haven't been to the gym in a few weeks. Naughty Bridgy, naughty!! BUT..... I am doing more on my days off. Being more active.
Tafe course doing well. I've completed 5 modules out of 17. At the end of the year I am without a job.... I could possibly have one next year, its all kinda in the air. but during the 6 weeks preschool is closed I will work as hard as I can to get as much done as possible. I wanna move onto my diploma by this time next year.
Start my advanced course this Sunday. Its a course on spirituality. Its changed my life and my way of thinking. Love it to bits!!
My mini goal was to get to 91 by October 24 (two weeks away). I don't see that happening. I can only try and hope for the best. My original goal was to be 85 for Xmas. I will be happy being under 90 to be honest with you. I am not as focused on scales as before, but would love to see it go down of course. Its such a mindfuck. Wanting that number, but trying not to let it get to you.

Hope everyone has a great week!

-skinny biddy :0)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

It's Time

(This is what I want... except I want it in shades of blue and the word "Clarity" written underneath it)

I am ready for my tattoo.

I've wanted to get "Clarity" since I was 17. But I've always been so scared of the pain. For the last month I've been thinking about it everyday.
Clarity has huge meaning for me. Clairty means "imperfections of a diamond" and clearness. Its also a John Mayer song. In the song he sings
"By the time I recognise this moment, this moment will be gone. But I will bend the light pretending, that it somehow lingured on."
Everytime something important in my life happends, it plays in my head- when I was walking out the gates of school for last time, whilst I was being wheeled into the pre op room before my banding, and most importantly, the last time I saw my Grandad. I was saying goodbye to him. And I was scared. I wanted to say goodbye as quickly as possible and went to flee the room as soon as I could. I got to the door and the song line came into my head. I stopped, turned around and took in the moment. The fact I would never see him again. And because of that song, it gave me that moment- I will never forget it. So "Clarity" and me have a huge connection. And I want it to be with me not only in mind and spirit, but body forever.
I want a Koi fish with it, I LOVE LOVE LOVE what Koi fish represent....

"The Koi is also able to fight the current of the water and swim upstream. This can be interpreted in two ways:
1) Being a non-conformist – Koi swimming upstream can be interpreted as showing the philosophy of non-conformism because of the fact that the Koi does not “go with the flow”. This can mean a person is very independent minded and does not do things the way they are expected of him or her. Swimming upstream can mean that a person is not easily influenced by others and does what he or she wants.
2) Strength in time of adversity – Koi fish also symbolizes persistence and the willingness to go on even though you are being swept away. It also symbolizes surpassing expectations. The Koi fish swimming upriver can show that a person has overcome various obstacles and not only does he or she keep standing, but he or she has come out victorious."

There is also the story of the koi fish swimming up the Rainbow (Dragon) River, turning into a dragon at the end. To me, that seems super symbolic. I've always strived to get to the end, find "clarity" and I now feel I am closer than ever in my life.

Dad wants to get a tattoo also(Manly Sea Eagle) so we are going to go together.
You'll find the photos of my hair and dress at my photo gallery... sorry guys, it didnt publish last night, it saved as a draft. What do you think?
-skinny "soon to be inked but Im so scared of the pain" biddy :0)

Friday, October 10, 2008

What a difference a night's sleep makes...

I woke up Thursday feeling better. Wednesday night was hard and I felt emotionally empty and negative energy surrounded me.
I went and got my hair cut. I was just gonna get a cut but I decided to cheer myself up I would get a blowdry. So I got it all pretty and styled ready for my day out. I went out to yum cha with Nikki, then we went shopping and I found the bargain of the year. I know Nikki will agree with me on that one. I put a photo on my photo gallery of me in my bargain dress. It was $70... I was freaking out about spending that much (since I'm losing weight and clothes are constantly fitting one week, being thrown out the next). I fell in love with it (and the awesome shoes I got with it- im actually a smaller size shoe now) and bit the bullet and took it to the checkout. IT WAS $28.88!!!! Holy moly!!! Soooo super groovy!
Had a good day today also. Went to dinner with a friend which was nice. The food itself wasn't great at all. I ordered a breakfast wrap (oooh at night time!!!) and it tasted purely like salt and pepper. It was meant to be egg,ham,feta,baby spinich, tomato and relish in a tortilla wrap- totally yummyness. But it tasted like salt and pepper. So I did something I've never done. I took it back. I didn't get it re made, band too tight today so I really couldn't be bothered. I think my band is a little tighter at the moment due to stress. I will keep on top of that though and monitor it and make sure it goes away soon. I don't wanna live with a tight band. Not safe, not fun and not the way I want to live.

Super tired. Having a relaxing weekend at home doing tafe work. Woohoo!!
Have a super weekend guys.

Love Skinny "love the bargain dress and new haircut" biddy :0)

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Not Fair

Woke up with a headache. I think that was the sign I needed to know I was gonna have a shocker.
Went into work feeling shitty only to feel worse when we get the shock of our lives to find out that one of the fathers at preschool died. He had a fit and died. Simple as that. No issues before that. Clean bill of health. Just died.
Then, to make things worse, I had to tell a friend from school about the passing of a girl we were friends with. She passed away a year ago and my friend had no idea..... very hard thing to do.
I didn't go on my date. I was too upset. Plus the whole net thing. It's too forced for me. Too much pressure. The guy is nice though. I will meet up with him.
Thats all tonight..... I'm competely heartbroken. I don't get this life thing sometimes...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

There's A Boy...

I told the universe I didn't want one. Then of course what happens.... I meet someone. Lol.
Well technically haven't "met" him. We've been talking online and over the phone for a few days. But we have plans to go "hang out" tomorrow and see a movie. That's a date right.
He's nice, really witty (makes me laugh- excellent sense of humor) and hes a chef. How hilarious is that! But yeah, as excited as I am I'm also nervous. I've never been on a date. 21- yeah- lame I know. I've just been so self conscious.
On the weight front..... not weighing in every morning like I used to. Thats toxic to my progress. I beat myself up about it too much. I saw my aunty and Nan on Sunday, haven't seen them for a month. They thought I looked brilliant. They are both very honest and don't give out compliments freely. So that was a big thing for me. They thought I had lost more weight since they saw me last. Now I've only lost 2-3 kilos since then but my body shape has changed heaps. What I am trying to say is this: Just because it doesn't register on the scales,doesn't mean that you aren't losing. Don't beat yourself up about it. There are a few of you out there that I know are doing this to themselves. STOP.
In saying that tomorrow is my weigh in day so I'll see how I go. Had a rough weekend with the food. Lol. Well no, I lie. The food is better quality now. I'm not eating low fat food. I'm eating better quality food and way smaller portion sizes. It makes my food now enjoyable. And then I can move on.
I am cooking a lot more now too. I started last week. As I said in a previous post, I write down my dinner for each night so I am properly prepared and have only limited pasta nights, nights with fish, nights with meat, nights meat free etc.
Here's my dinner plan this week:

Monday- Ham,Mushroom and Cheese Risotto with a Ceasar Salad
Tuesday- Apricot Chicken with veggies
Wednesday- Fish and Veggies
Thursday- Tortelline Primevera with salad
Friday- Night out with friend
Saturday- Rice Paper Rolls or Seafood Parcels with veggies
Sunday- Tacos

More photos up in photo gallery- stop by and leave a comment. Also, become a follower of my blog. And post a link to your blog in the comments section of this post so others can have a read of your world!

-skinny "whoot woo- going on a date" biddy :0)

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Hmmm

The last few nights I have had "night heartburn". I have no issues with pains, cant eat fine (I think I have perfect restriction) but its just the night issue. So I think I might call up on Tuesday (trust this to happen on long weekend- LOL!) and talk to the Doc about it and see if he thinks I need to be worried and have some fill taken out and a barium swallow. Its not bad hertburm, just annoying. But yeah... we'll see what happens.
Got a few stares today when I was out doing the grocery shopping. Saw some people I hadnt seen since my surgery and got the good old double takes! Mum kept commenting all day about how amazing I was looking. I could totally feel the difference and see it too. So I took some photos tonight, so there are lots to take a look at at my photo gallery. Also have photos of my weight loss rewards bracelet.
Tell me what you think about both issues.

-skinny biddy :0)

Friday, October 3, 2008

Mini Goal Met!

So the goal was to be 96 today. Did I make it??
YES!
95.3!!! Woohoo!!
I know I said I wasn't going to concentrate on scales but I can't help but feel super about this. 95..... I haven't been 95 since I was 19 and I was on Duromine- the WORST thing I ever did (I wanted to kill myself, had panic attacks, didn't eat, didn't sleep, ended up with a bulging disk because I worked too hard at the gym). I am so so so proud. And I honestly can't accept it. It doesn't feel real. I cannot absorb the weight loss from scales. Fuck, its a lot man.
This morning I went and got my nails done. In the last two weeks I've spent more time on me. It's given me a confidence boost making sure I look good all the time. Lol. Sounds so conceited but before I didn't think I deserved it. So nails look hot (and were dirt cheap!) and the fake tan looks awesome. I booked in to get a deluxe pedicure and parrafin wax (only $40- holy moley!) in two weeks also.
I was asked by a few people how my weight has dropped in the last few weeks. Remember a little while ago I was fed up with the plateau? Ok, heres my 'secrets":

  • Weekly dinner meal plan. I have my dinners for the week written out and put on the fridge so I can make sure I am prepared and can't use any excuses for an easy not so healthy meal.
  • Daily food diary. I write it in my 2008 diary. I write it the night before, making sure that I get as much protein/ calcuim/fruit and veg.
  • Cutting out carbs. Of course lots of good foods have carbs but I'm talking about pasta mainly. I am making sure I am only having it once or twice a week.
  • Cutting down snacks, keeping to the 3 meals a day. I know this comes with the level of restriction you have. I have an excellent restriction at the moment.
  • "Do I really need that?" I ask myself before I eat EACH time. If I can't honestly answer "yes" then I have a think about it, ask myself WHY I want it. Cuts out the "bored" eating and emotional eating. I am lucky and don't have an emotional eating issue.
  • Increasing incidental exercise. I am working harder now at work, making sure I am moving around more.

I think thats about it. Something just clicked with me, especially this week. I had enough off the plateau and I wanted to stop.
I have three more days off. I am planning to completely relax, mellow out and focus on being positive. Oh and studying. Lol.

Thanks for your comments on my last post- or any posts for that matter. I adore coming to my page and seeing I have new comments.
Di- I have always wanted to write a book..... thanks for making me think...

-skinny "bring on the next goal!" biddy :0)

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Past that mother fucking 96 peeps!!!

Lol... sorry about the title...
So the goal was to be 96 tomorrow. I jumped on scales a day earlier to see 101!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psyche! I'm actually 95.8! Pretty bloody happy about that seeing that I couldnt get past 96.1! So I am 300 grams away from having lost half my excess weight (thats if I wanna be a skinny 65 kilos- unsure if I want to be that small) and I'm offically past my 25 kilos lost to date which means I need to get another charm for my bracelet! Music note is the next one, and then after the 300 grams (rewarding myself is expensive! Lol. But fun!) I have a guardian angel that I already have ready for that milestone!
I have been making a good effort to pre plan meals to include protein and veg. Trying to cut carbs as I seem to base my meals on them.
Today I've had:
2 eggs and 4 cruskits
handful cashews
garlic prawns

Yes, no veggies I know. Will get that in tomorrow or if hungry later have some fruit.
I am offically a size 16. Pretty happy about that. I have a non scale goal of getting into something small than a size 16. Thinking lately about what size I would like to be. 12 would be great. I think I might make that my aim. But 10..... 10 would be marvelous!
Will post tomorrow with the weight. Really focused so I can lose that 5 kilos in the next 3 weeks!

-skinny biddy :0)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Goal

Howdy!
I made a goal a little while back to weigh in on Friday at 96. This morning I weighed in at 96.4. So I am pretty close to that. I kinda wanna slap myself in the head sometimes. I am all over the shop cyber buddies! One minute I'm happy with my progress, then the next I'm an impatient little bitch! But I will be happy if I'm 96 or lower on Friday.
My next goal I made was 85 for Christmas. I broke that goal down further... so here's the plan:

91 Kilos by October 24 (thats 5 kilos in 3 weeks....)
85 Kilos by Dec 25 (thats a further 6 kilos in 9 weeks....)

Thoughts and opinions??? Tips and help appreciated!

I'm about to have a 5 day break. Looking forward to it heaps! Hope everyone has awesome plans for their long weekend!

-skinny biddy :0)

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Tuesday Rant...

These days I don't know what to write.... so please bare with me as I try. I can understand how some people forget to blog after a certain amount of time after banding. Life changes and the band doesn't become number 1.
I've started to notice I'm respecting my body more. I'm a fairly pale gal. I've started to fake tan myself (lol) and also get some more sun. I stayed outta the sun because sun=heat, which means less clothes. Which means more body parts being exposed. I am treating myself Thursday and Friday to a massage, some beauty treatments and getting my nails done ($30 for a full set omg how cheap!)
After tomorrow I have 5 days off!! Super groovy! Taking it easy. Seeing friends and studying.
My uncle has gotten worse. He cant stay at home and he cant stay in the hospital. The hospital can't do anything else for him. So its a really difficult situation.
I've made an effort to aviod lots of carbs. I tend to grab them for lunch or dinner as my body craves them (since I have PCOS). Trying to get more protien and veg as I was concerned about my intake.
Today for lunch I took leftover apricot chicken. I nearly pbed it. I had to leave the room. Havent had issues at work before. It wasnt fun. I was trying to make 14 beds and having a stuck... not fun.

Off now... can't wait til this time tomorrow!

-skinny biddy

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Weird

Hey guys,
So still no wireless for me... using the parents computer. Hopefully will format it today. I miss not being able to come on here late at night.
So I've been really confused lately at my state of mind. Ever since my 6 months month bandiversary things seemed to have changed. I am not thinking about my weight all the time. I am not super focused on it or motivated. I am not sure if this is a good thing or not. It feels like that super high that I was on has gone and I'm back to my new life.... get what I'm trying to say? I am having real trouble expressing what I mean!
I had the goal of losing 20 kilos in 24 weeks. But now I'm sorta over it. I of course want to lose more weight, as much as possible. But I just dont have the energy to put into it. I will still make sure I am eating right and going to the gym 3 times a week. But its not going to be on the forefront of my mind. Does that mean that its now become a lifestyle change that I have become used to??? That its now as routine as brushing my teeth?? I think I'm onto something here!
Yesterday I went to my friend Bec's wedding. It was so so so beautiful. We work together and she is going on her honeymoon tomorrow for a month to America. I am going to be so selfish and say that I am going to miss her so much! She makes me sane at work sometimes. I am hoping that work wont be stressful with her gone. We have a casual coming in so I will have to take on extra stuff.
On the love note.... CONGRATS MYF!!! So so so so so happy for you!! I knew that it was going to happen!
Restriction wise, band is having good and bad days. I'm just riding the wave and taking each day as it comes. Tomorrow I will post a food diary.
This week I'm hitting the gym Tuesday,Thursday and Saturday. Didn't go at all last week. Just didnt feel motivated after my yukky family issues. Will be hitting it though this week.
After talking to Kristie last night I have been thinking I need to change my goal from a goal weight to a goal size. Scales havent shifted for a few weeks but I've lost 3 cms off my waist. I am over getting on the scales all the time. It's not doing it for me anymore. I'm getting more joy from seeing the changes in the mirror.

Hope you had a nice weekend. Weather is amazing!

-skinny biddy :0)

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I'm back!

Hey guys,

So its been interesting times in Bridget Land since I blogged last. Lots to write about so please forgive me for the long blog!
Friday I had my 6 month banding review. Surgeon was very happy with my results so far. I've lost 42% of my excess body weight. 25 kilos gone! Surgeon asked me about talking at an info session. So I will be at some stage. Not sure when.
Saturday and Sunday I did am "introduction to spirituality" course. It was amazing. I am doing the advanced course in a month and looking forward to it a great deal. I really feel like I've opened up a new door in my life with this one. I was so relaxed coming home Saturday- that night we got a call to say my uncle (dads brother) is in hospital. He has diabetes and liver failure. So that was really hard to hear. Then Sunday I came home, once again relaxed- only to walk in the door and 30 seconds later be told my sister was moving to Perth the next day. It was her 18th Sunday. She moved over there with her bf on Monday morning at 6am. It was such a shock. I took Monday off work because I was just so upset. I still am. I walk past her room and still think she is there. I havent gone into detail on here about my family troubles out of respect, but my sister has mental health issues and has really put us through our paces. It has been more peaceful since shes been gone, but empty also...
So Monday I didnt go to work- instead I went to the hosiptal with mum and dad to see my uncle. Going back to work on Tuesday was difficult. I found it hard to be bubbly and happy like I am meant to working with children. But by the end of the day I felt better.
I have had a sinus headache since Saturday. Having issues the last two days with restriction- everything is getting stuck. So tablets arent gonna work. Im not looking forward to working tomorrow with the kiddies with this blinder. Lights off etc!
Weight wise I've decided no more daily weigh ins. I was beating myself up about the number on the scales too much. So every Wednesday I will weigh in and take it from there. I guess I have also lost a little motivation this week with all the goings on and really not feeling like my normal self. Hopefully she'll return soon.

Thats all for now. Head killing me....

bridget

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

I'm not dead

Still no net.... Got new modem but having issues setting it up. Lots to tell u but will leave it til u can use laptop.
Missing blogging so much. Had some huge shocks over weekend and would have liked the support.
Talk soon
Bridget

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Internet withdrawals!

hi guys,
My net is down atm so haven't been able to get on. Using my iPhone atm so it's hard 2 type. Have my 6 month review in a few hrs. Will get a small fill also. Will hopefully be back online by next week- modem stuffed :0(
Have a brilliant weekend- I'll be at a spirituality course!
Love skinny 'noooo I need the net!' biddy

Monday, September 15, 2008

Insert Witty Title Here.... Cause I Am Too Tired

Hey Guys,

I forgot to tell you on Thursday something cool that happend to me. My friend is getting married in a few weeks and I wanted something nice to wear of course. There is a really nice green top in Autograph I thought would be nice. So I tried it on. In a 16.. yeah, um it didn't fit! I was super stoked BUT annoyed because I really wanted that top! Lol. I did buy another one that was on special for $8 for work. It is a little loose on me but I can deal. So it's safe for me to say I don't need that store anymore. I could probably buy one or two things there, but I would be a little on the big side. Might go look at jeans though. I did a huge cleanout on Friday (thought it was fitting since it was my 6 month bandiversary) and got rid of a huge garbage bag of clothes. So I am now left with barely anything that actually fits... moreso clothes that are a little loose.
I've been a little frustrated with good old scales. I am stuck atm. I've been thinking it over and have decided to push on with more exercise. AT LEAST 5 TIMES A WEEK. So this week here is the plan:

  1. Monday- gym
  2. Tuesday- pilates at home
  3. Wednesday- gym
  4. Thursday- pilates at home
  5. Friday- gym

I wanna give it my all. I want to know that I have done the best job I can possibly do at reaching my long term and short term goals. I will not look back on this time with regret. Where did this motivation come from? No fucken idea to be perfectly honest with you. But whatever angel is out there looking out for me I owe you.
Got to meet Nikki yesterday. Shes a sweetheart. I know we will be good friends. Hopefully she can come to gym with me and I can have a gym buddy. Always good to have people to keep you motivated. I definately know that having a blog about my journey has made a difference. I was thinking about it last night and I felt weird pondering the idea of me never having one. I wouldn't have been as inspired and motivated. I don't think I would have lost what I have.

All from me tonight. Tired after a long day.
Don't forget to check out my photo gallery (http://bridgetparkerphotogallery.blogspot.com) and see the new piccies that are up.

-skinny biddy :0)

Friday, September 12, 2008

6 months banded today.... a re cap

Well.... I don't know what to write.


I have all these amazing feels today, like every other day lately. And I've blogged about them a lot. Right now, in this moment, I cannot condense them into words. They are bigger than that. All I can say is I am super proud of myself.
I took photos today in celebration of my efforts. Lol. I also weighed in at 96.4.... 400 grams away from my goal which was 25 lost by my six months. I can't complain with that.
Tomorrow Mum and I are going to get manis and pedis in celebration. I want to do something special for myself. I deserve it.
So I guess now its phase 2 for me. Now it's time to really put my head down and focus. The rest of the weight isn't gonna slide off like it seems to has. My goals for the next six months are as follows:

  • exercise AT LEAST three times a week at the gym
  • pilates AT LEAST once a week at home
  • tell myself everyday that I am worth this, that I deserve the best me I can be
  • not obsess over scales and the grams i may or may not have lost
  • consciously make sure each day I am eating the best that I can
  • and finally.... I want to lose 20 kilos in the next 6 months.... thats 24 weeks to lose 20 kilos. I think that this is honestly possible. IF I WORK HARD.

Thankyou to all those people who have been reading for the last 6 months. I know that there is a fair few of you who don't post comments but still follow my journey. For those of you I say thanks.
Thankyou to the people who comment. I do appreciate it and look forward to reading what you have said.

Here's to the next 6 months guys!

-skinny "gonna lose that 20" biddy :0)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Smiling

Hey guys,

I had a busy day today. I was still exhausted from my silly weekend late nights trying to finish assignments. So I had a sleep in, making me late for everything else I needed to do in the day. But screw it. I wanted sleep! Lol.
I hit the gym (only 45 as I had to go to the Tax bitch), went to see who I will refer to as "the tax bitch" who is so rude to me. Yes, I stuffed up my tax for my business, but it isnt the end of the world. It can all be fixed. Apparently if I don't fix it soon she thinks I will have to go to court. Mum just rolled her eyes. Shes an old woman who has had enough with her work and told me how fed up she is of doing this. I stood up for myself when she was having a go at me, I wasnt going to take her bullshit. Normally I would have been super sweet and "yes miss". But no. I was strong.
Got an iphone today. I got an awesome plan and I'll be saving money with a nice phone!! Happy chappy!
I also went into "autograph" today. I need something to wear to a friends wedding in a few weeks. There was this nice green top I thought I might try on. Bugger, didn't fit. It was too big- smallest size. Sweet! I did fit into this nice cheap $8.95 top so I bought that to wear out and about. I'm once again going to have to do a sort through of clothes as some are making me look bigger than I am. This is expensive! Lol.
Enjoying the lovely weather we are having at the moment. It's making me super excited about summer. I usually dread it because it means I'm usually super hot and have to wear less clothes. No issues this year. I know I'm gonna love love love it!
Had to get links taken out of the awesome watch the parents gave me for my 21st. It fit me when I tried it on about 4 months ago. When I got it on my birthday it was way too big. Was great to have that feeling.

Tomorrow will be my 6 months bandiversary. I think I am going to treat myself to a mani and a pedi. Its a very important day to me. I will leave the reflective post until tomorrow....
Off to do my programming for craft at work next week. I'm doing spring theme so in the process of organising a garden for the kiddies to make on our wall!

-bridget :0)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Take a Look See...

Checked out my weight loss ticket recently? See how the number's are close to evening out?? A few kilos time and I will have lost over half my excess body weight! It'll be good to be on the other side of those numbers!!
This morning is sat on 96.8 kilos on scales... I've lost almost a kilo in 3 days. Gotta love the exercise!
On Friday, it will be my 6 months banded. I'm going to do something special for myself to celebrate. I'm very excited!! If I can try and lose 1.3 kilos by Friday, I would have lost half of excess weight in 6 months..... 1.3 might be a little much... I'll work hard and see what happens...
6 month banding review is on the 18th September. I was planning to have lost the 50% by then. I can see that as being reality!!! In order though for me to be under, I need to be 93.5 as their scales are 2 kilos heavier. 3.3 kilos in 2 weeks..... hmmm.... I'll see.

Have a super Sunday

-skinny "soooo close" biddy :0)

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Stormy Saturday!!!

I can't believe it! I actually woke up this morning and braved the crazy weather and went to the gym. I did wake up late, and as a result was only able to do 45 mins (they close early on weekends). But hey, at least I did it, right!
Tomorrow is a big day. Father's Day of course, but more so I am going to Sydney to see my relatives I haven't seen since before my banding surgery- some for over a year. Crazy! They have a catered lunch for my Aunty's 60th Birthday. So I am not sure what to do, its meats and salads. Me and those two foods aren't friends. I think I will take something else just in case. The worst possible thing would be for me to have a PB there. I'll have enough eyes on me at the table.
My lappy is being a complete bitch at the moment. I have no internet so using the old school home one. I am getting all stressed and panic striken.
That's all for now. I'm gonna try de-stress and do some tafe work.


-bridget


Update..... lappy now working... but its telling me I'm offline.... must be pmsing....

Thursday, September 4, 2008

That's Right- Uh huh!

I did it!
I woke up this morning and thought "mmmm...maybe I'll just do treadmill at home" and went back to sleep. An hour later I woke up, got on scales and decided to take hold. No more excuses Bridget Parker. You gotta do it. So I didn't think about it anymore. I got in car and went to the gym.
I did:
20 mins treadmill
20 mins bike
20 mins elliptical trainer

1 hour guys!! Woo!

Tonight everyone at home is getting takeaway. Usually I just follow the trend and get it to. Decided not too. I'm not going to ruin my hardwork today on it. I'm worth more.

-skinny "proud" biddy :0)

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Daaaaamn!

Go home from work in a pretty good mood- only to find that after almost 6 months I get the bill from the anaethesist. I thought I'd gotten away with not having to pay. So I gotta cough up like $226. Great.
I'm currently 97.8 on the scales. Pretty happy with that. I still get scared everytime I hop on that it will be over 100. That was a tough cookie to break!
Since I am not currently suffering any sickness I WILL be going to the gym tomorrow. Just a light one to start off since its been over 6 months off. 15 mins treadmill, 15 mins bike, 15 mins elliptical trainer.
Thats all tonight... will post when I get back from gym. I am totally going. No excuses. Sami has really helped me kick my butt into gear!

-bridget :0)