Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy Holidays!!

I hope everyone is enjoying the festive season...I've been flat out for the past two weeks! Today is my first day alone, without anything to do (mind you I'm going out tonight), so I'm going to try to relax. I have five weeks off work (still getting up at 7.30- stupid body clock! Lemme sleep! Knowing me I'll have perfected a good sleep in the last week of the holidays! Haha!!)
Christmas for me was lovely. I did pb in the morning however. I had a big drive to Sydney to do and wasnt going to be eating until 3 pm so I thought I'd attempt breakfast. No luck. My first Xmas pb. How special. Haha. But apart from that, my Xmas was perfect. I got a very special "daughter" bracelet off my mum and dad, and a heart necklace off the boy im seeing (no commenting on personal life after last time, sorry guys) and I also got an "I love you"..... best Christmas I've had!!
NYE I plan, for the first time ever, to go out.... I am VERY excited about this.... we are going to the city to watch the fireworks along the harbour. It'll be really special. I never used to go out on NYE.... hated crowds, felt self concious etc.... not anymore!!! As for NY resolutions...I'm not making any... the theme for 2010 for me is "possibilities"...... I plan to make dreams become possibilites.... there will be no "in 2010 I want to lose 15 kilos" garbage...Im a size 14-16, ideally I want to lose more weight, however I'll take it at my own pace. I'm happy and content... no more self loathing.... that weight has been lifted....
As you can tell I am feeling very positive, and very loved up. And if I'm not posting, its not because I'm sad or low, its simply because real life gets you and you get swept away in it and forget to touch base!
I had a fill last Monday.... yes, a few days before xmas. My Dr was concerned my band had slipped seeing I was still hungry etc. He wanted me to give him a call if the new fill caused me any reflux. Hasnt done so and I'm glad.
Thats all for now...hope all is well in band land...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Week That Was

I've had an excellent week in my banding life. To my surprise I cannot remember the last time I've eaten chocolate. Which is a big thing for me. Yay for Biddy! I'm craving fruits and salads and have gone to the shops several times this week to pick up fruit salads. I'm really thinking about my choices. And I'm really proud of myself.
Emotionally this week has been a little rough. Found myself teary a few nights this week. It seems everyone is getting married, having babies, moving from where I live, and following their dreams. And I feel incredibly trapped. I'm saving to travel. And I'm frustrated. I want to be following my dreams. I want outta the life I have right now. I feel like I'm waiting for my life... it's something that I will have to learn to accept, just for now.
Let's hope this week is a more positive week. That I can move forward, and learn to love being by myself. That new friends will come along soon, and that the life I'm working towards is as blissful as I'm imagining it!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I know, I know..

I've been a major slacker guys, I'm sorry. I needed a band break. Personal things going on (learnt my lesson, will not discuss) and the study and work load is heavy. This time of the year is insane at work. So much to do. Argh!
Banding wise... well..... I got really really dispondent in regards to banding life. I was very close to calling it all quits and not caring anymore. After 20 months I was jaded. I'd worked so hard and couldn't get to my goal. In fact, I put on weight and got back up at 91. I went and saw my Dr on Monday and he gave me a teeeeny fill of 0.1 mls. You know what? That was JUST what I needed. Its actually solved ALL my banding problems. I wasnt getting any restriction, now I have perfect restriction. No more heartburn AT ALL!!!! Portion sizes are perfect too. I am very very happy and back into the "motivated Bridget" who is determined to get under 70!!! I have ways to go yes, but I am really really positive about getting there.
So I'm back. I'm ready to get down to business. I will not quit this half way. I will finish this thing. I will.
Glad to be back....