The Naming of the Band

I've decided that since the band is a friend and a tool which I will use in aiding my weight loss it needs a name. I went through a few with mum and dad. Dad suggested U2 and Mum suggested Beyonce. I don't know what it is with them thinking of famous people but I don't think so. After a few minutes tossing around some ideas I've decided on Barbie. Barbie clearly has silicone in her body and so will I. Mine will be a little different however.
So it's Barbie the Band.
Went to buy some books today that were recommended on the Yahoo Lap Band Health Forums. If you haven't been there and are getting the band done/thinking about getting the band/have the band check them out. They have been super helpful for me. They have everything you need to know, the pros and cons. Anyway, went to get the books and they weren't there. I should have called first because I got mum up and organised for nothing. Ordered them online but won't have them for Wednesday. I wanted to have them to read in hospital. But now I guess I'll stock up on magazines.
I am starting to get very anxious. I'm not doubting the band whatsoever. I am 100% ready for it. I'm just scared of the unknown. If only I could look into the future 6 months, 1 year from now and see what the outcome is. I was actually thinking of going to see a psychic. I have been a few times and they have always been spot on about something. I went to one last year on my 20th birthday. It was funny because she referenced something about having something in my stomach. I had no idea what it meant then, now of course I do. I wish I could get it done before the surgery but I have zilch money so unless I can get some off mum I don't think I'll be getting it done.
Well its 12.03 am. That means 2 days til surgery. Wow it has gone quick.
Thanks to mjwdec73 for another wonderful comment. I read your blog in one sitting tonight. I loved it. I think that blogs are getting my through the waiting. Being able to read about other peoples journeys, the ups and downs. Such a comfort.
As I end this blog I have butterflys....
Bring on this week!
-bridget :0)

Feeling Better....

So after last night's wory fest woke up feeling better. I emailed my dietician last night in a panic and now am regretting it. I haven't gotten a response yet but hoping she doesn't grill me on what I've eaten. Or worse, tell my Dr! I am still worried that he'll open me up and my liver will be too bad to operate on. But trying to think positively.
Couldn't believe that after my McDonalds last night I weighed myself and was actually lighter!! Crazy!!! I'm not exactly sure what my starting weight was. I didn't look at the weigh in but I was weighed three times that day for dfiferent things. I think it was 123 kg so that means I've lost 8.4 kilos on the Opti-fast. I did weigh myself at home 4 days later on day 2 of opti-fast and I was 123 kilos. So it works out right because I was holding a lot of fluid (thanks PCOS) when orignal weight was recorded.
I went with mum to buy all my liquids today. I also bought some very very huge nighties to be comfy in and an amazing pillow called the "Body Mate". Man I should have had one of those earlier in my life. As a single woman not having a man in my life this pillow is amazing to hug. lol. Seriously. Buy it. It still doesn't quite feel like in a few days my life is going to change. I think if I was able to grasp this fact then it would hit me like a ton of bricks and I would back out. Me and change have never been friends. I am afraid of it. So for me to decide I want to uproot not only my outer self but who I have been for 20 years, its bizzare. But I have never been so sure about something before either.
I'm going to see my nan tomorrow. She knows about the banding, although she doesn't understand it. She wants to see me before the op. I wouldn't mind her coming into the hospital to see me. The more the merrier! I want as many visitors as possible. And flowers. Lol. I'm saying this now but I'll probably be outta it the whole time and won't remember who came in to see me.
Thanks to Charmy and mjwdec73 for the comments you left for me. You do not know how much they picked me up last night.

I just got an email back from my dietician. I don't think I've ever been that nervous opening an email up! She is amazing! She said if I had lost the 4 kilos needed I should be right. Its very reassuring that I have support from my team! I am such a stupid girl for being so worried I think!!!

Thats it for today. Oh, I actually already have half my bag packed for Wednesday. Eager I know!!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend beautifuls!!

-bridget :0)

Oops

I feel pretty damn guilty now. Had McDonalds. Freaking the fuck out that I've screwed everything up.
Will spend the next four days sticking to diet 1000%. And will drink lots and lots of water. Not even a last meal on Tuesday night!
Anyone out there who is on Opti-fast or about to me. DONT DO WHAT I DID. Even if its purely for the guilt side of it.
Omg. What if I've ruined everything?????????????

-bridget :0(

The Truth

Day 10 of the Opti-fast. 5 days til the surgery. Yay!!!
Ok, I am going to be honest. The reason I started this blog was not only to let people in on my journey but to tell the complete truth. To lay it out on the line and not lie to myself.
I haven't been following the Opti-fast as well as I could have been. I've been eating my veggies. drinking my water and drinking my shakes. However, I try all the tricks in the bag (drinking lots of water, eating veggies, have a shake) and I'm starving!!! So I was cheating and having some toast. Also, I had a little McDonalds last Friday and once this week. I felt a little guilty but decided I'm sick of making myself guilty after food. Yes, I stuffed up. But I have to move on. And I am not going to try and justify it. I knew what I was doing. I was potentially un shrinking my liver. In saying that, I will probaly end up having Maccas for dinner tonight, only a little bit. And the night before my surgery. I've been talking to my mum a lot about this. She hasn't really helped the situation when she's telling me that I'll be fine, I've lost the 4 kilos needed and I'm a 20 year old non drinker so my liver won't be as fatty and enlarged. Also some doctors don't actually do Opti-fast for people with a bmi under 40 and I'm 42. Yes over 40 but only just.
I'm not even sure I have anyone reading this blog but I'm enjoying writing it.So if you are out there reading please drop me a comment!
This time next week I'll be at home banded and on my way to becoming Skinny Biddy!! Unless I wake up without it in, then i'll be a Pissed off Parker!! But I have a feeling I'll be fine.
Have a great weekend. I'll be out shopping for liquids!!

-bridget :0)

Geez Louise- 6 days!!!!!

Six days to go until Skinny Biddy is born.
Feeling really good now on Opti-fast. I won't lie and say I've followed it 100%. More like 70%. I do very well in the days then midnight hits and im starving. No water, veggies or shakes fill me up so I end up having some toast.
I've lost 6 kilos so far. Very happy with that. I know I'll never lose that much in a week again.
I'm proud of myself at the moment. I know I have made mistakes but I will not beat myself up over them. I will never make myself feel guilty again for eating food. That was Big Bridget's daily emotion. I'm kicking it to the curb. I do feel like my mind set is already changing. I can see already how amazing my life is going to be after banding. No more constantly thinking about food in such a negative manner. Only postive thoughts.
I am so ready to do this. 6 days, its coming so quickly!



Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.
- Arundhati Roy


-bridget :0)

The Hump

Day 6 of Opti-fast and I'm over the inner struggle. I haven't been hungry at all today. I've only has two shakes so far and will have some soup later. Last night I was very very emotional. Ended up crying for half an hour over some toast I was desperate to have. Ended up having the toast but realised I only needed half a slice and I was statisfied. No cheats today, feel very proud of myself. I'm stating to feel used to being on this stuff. I feel hopeful. I know I have cheated along the way (I didn't admit it but on Friday night I had a little McDonalds...........) but all is good. I'm definately focused now.
Got a call from the hospital today. They wanted to confirm my admission for March 12th. It was a quick conversation, I'm not on my diabex anymore (for insulin resistance) so no more meds for me. She said "well you seem healthy so you'll be right". Lol. Yeah heaps healthy, im having gastric banding surgery because im obese!!
Tomorrow night I'm off to another information session. I'm going to support my Dad who wants to have this procedure done also. It will be good to go and see someone else talk about their weight loss after having the band. Hoping maybe one day I will be asked to talk at one. Take some fat pants and fit into one leg. lol.
I'm so positive now! Everything's gonna be alright....
-bridget :0)

Day 5 Opti-fast

Here's my horoscope for the week:

LEO
Take it easy.This, I know, is not the kind of advice a Leo akways wants. You know that you're completely incapable of taking it. When you want something to happen, you want it to happen now. You'll move heaven and earth to make it happen. This month, you have a growing sense of urgency. You're sure that a significant shift must occur soon. You're right. It must and it will. That's all the more reason to take it easy. Your big moment is coming naturally- as fast as it can- of its own accord.




As I'm typing I'm sipping on my opti-slim Honeycomb shake. Loving it! The last few days I've had some slip ups so I want to get back on track. I think I'm not eating enough. Yesterday I only had one of my shakes.So today I'm making a better effort.
I wanna shift at least two more kilos. I think thats possible because I've got 10 more days. According to the scales im 7 kilos lighter. But I'm saying 4 kilos just in case of a difference on my scales and the ones im weighing in on surgery day. So i've lost the 4 kilos that my doctor said I need to lose before surgery.
No call from doctor to say there was a problem with my blood test results.... i gave it a week. Might call up on Monday just to double check. The last thing I want is for them to call me and have to reschedule and me be on this opti-fast for longer than I need to! lol.
My sister has a cold. So Bernadette, stay away from me. I love you but I can't get sick before surgery!!!!!
One more week then I can start getting crazy excited. Can't wait to shop for all the liquids, sounds weird but then I'll know i'm not dreaming.
10 days to go...

-bridget :0)