Ok, now I get it

I am super stressed. I went home sick on Friday and had today off. I've also called in sick for tomorrow and Wednesday (I have a short week this week). I am suffering from a major cold and have a huge family crisis happening. Today I've noticed it hit me band wise. I can't do food, only liquids. Great for the weight loss....... Im joking. I'm going to address it if it lasts longer than a week.
I want to open up and tell you the issue but I think I might wait a little longer.
Its pretty much taken over my life since it happend a few days ago. Im not coping. I fainted on Friday night from the stress of it all.
No exercise because of cold and im not in the mood at all.
Things are hard at home like I said, so today something really meaningful happend for me. Dad gave me his ring that his mother gave to him in 1981. Its Sterling Silver and has black onyx. It was a really nice moment, so im wearing it and wont let it out of my sight!
In response to the title of the blog, I totally get now why people who are stressed turn to "easy foods" to eat. Foods that go down super well that might be not so great calorie wise. I havent done that, but I just understand it now.
Off to attempt to eat something. If not, drink something.

-bridget

Sick as a Dog

I never understood that saying........

I left work early today. Not something that I have ever done before. Usually I battle through. I decided that I needed rest so I went home. Before I went home I had to go to the shops and buy things for my craft program next week. Boss is meant to pay me back everytime I buy something, I spent $70.... I totally didn't mean to. I feel kinda bad about that, its a lot of money in our small little centre. I do need the stuff.... maybe give her the reciepts every few weeks? Lol. That way it doesnt seem as big an amount.... lol.
Fill going well. Its perfect actually. I am never hungry (being sick also would make band tighter) and eating very small amounts. Drinking lots of water because Im sick. I am not having major issues getting things down. Today I've had a sweet thai chilli chicken wrap. One half for lunch and eating the other half right now for dinner.
Got my work Xmas party dress this afternoon!! I tried it on and it fits perfectly. Most revealing dress I've ever bought. Big step for me. I will take photos of it when Im feeling better. The major thing for me though is that I bought a dress from that store mid July and it was a 24.... this one is a 16. So although the weight on the scales has only changed 7 or so kilos (I cant remember), my dress size has massively changed. TAKE THAT INTO ACCOUNT PEOPLE!!
Tomorrow I will try and have a decent sleep in, then its washing 100 bottles and cutting out 100 of each- candy canes, stars, balls, xmas trees and stockings. Argh! Lots to do. So little time!
Last night I had a major, life changing event happen in our family. I dont feel ready to let you know what happened, but our family is in crisis mode. All trying to comes to terms with it. I can honestly say that if I didnt have the band, if I hadnt lost the weight and become a stronger person, i'd be ruined right now. The spirtuality course is helping me big time too...
Have a wonderful weekend friends,

-bridget

Like You Said

Woke up sick again today. Worse than yesterday. Nothing major, just a cold in which has zapped all my energy and made me feel like complete crap. Working a full week again this week and finding it hard to get through. One more day left thankgod!
Last night's support group was good. We expected a much bigger turn out from the interest that was shown, around 50-60 people. We had 12 people show up. But it was our first one so we shouldnt have expected too much. Hopefully our December one brings some of the people that said they were interested. It was still a really good meet up.
This arvo I went for a fill. I felt like shit so Mum took the night off work to drive me. I got .2mls in, Dr Fill didnt measure amount of fill but said he wasnt worried about any leaking issues. I knew that would happen! Fill was worst I've had so far. Last time was bad enough with it missing the port and slipping off. This time it took 15 mins of him poking and prodding my stomach. Just before he got it he told me he was considering getting it done under Xray. But thankgod he got it! Thats not to scare future bandsters out there. If you knew me before this surgery you'd know how scared of needles I was. Im totally over it now. I can deal with that needle because of what it gives me. It gives me my life!
I am going to try and get back to the gym next week. Had a busy one and felt under the weather this week so I wasnt going to push it. Kinda missing it though. Only Kinda. Hehehe
I have put on a few kilos in the last 2 weeks. Its a combination of working out (building muscle) and hormonal issues with fluid. Grrr... hopefully with fill I can get closer to my goal of under 90 for Xmas.

All for now... i think im running a temp.... bed time!

-skinny biddy :0)

Thanks peeps!

Thankyou so much for everyone who gave me their advice. Yes it was unprofessional of him to say that to me. I will mention that to him on Thursday. I personally think I just need a fill. Not a big one, .2 or .3 would do me fine.
Yes it is very true that all bandits are different. I can eat things im sure some of you cant. The band works in mysterious ways, and being a Dr you SHOULD KNOW THAT.
Aherm...
Today I did something I havent done in a very very long time....................... i ate breakfast. Normally Barbie and I dont like food before 11 am. Today we were hungry. We ate eggs. It was yum!
Tomorrow night I have my first support meeting that Ive organised. Slightly nervous. Moreso excited at the fact that this is my little baby that is growing up before my eyes! Will be a good turn out apparently. Thats if I can find the bloody place.... wish me luck with that! Lol.
I havent been to the gym since Sunday and I wont be for at least another week. Heres my schedule:
Tuesday night: wash 90 water bottles and take lables off for music shakers
Wed: work, then meeting
Thursday: work, then fill (takes 30 mins to get there and i gotta wait for dr fill to finish surgery)
Friday: work, then programming for work
Saturday: programming for work, clean remaining bottles, start a tafe assignment, shop for things to put into water bottle music shakers for work, write out a list of what chn at preschool want for xmas on a giant santa stocking and try and make it to my friends 21st (thats not looking good with all this to do)
Sunday: course

So thats all for now. I will try and write tomorrow night after my meeting (argh!) and let you know how fill goes on Thursday. Hopefully by Sunday night I have died from exhaustion.... to think, at the beginning of the year I couldnt even leave the house. Now Im never in it!

-skinny "loves her cyber friends"biddy :0)

Fuck a Duck

So I called Fill Dr today. He apologised for not calling me back.
I told him I needed a fill and didn't want to wait 3 weeks. That I was exercising heaps and eating fairly well and could eat lots. He agreed to see me Thursday afternoon in between surgeries he needed to do. He then asked if I could eat potatoes. I said probably. I wasnt sure. He seemed worried about that answer and said "thats not good, you might have a leak in your band". Well brilliant. 8.30 am Monday morning- NOT what I wanted to hear.
I personally don't think that I have a band issue. My restriction seemed to get looser when I uped my exercise. My fills have always lasted about a month. Ive read about people who have taken over a year to get to their sweet spot. People years down the track still get fills. Its an adjustable thing. I've also heard that the faster you lose it, the more fills you will need.
Guys I need you to tell me what you think. I'm driving myself crazy here. Last thing I fucken need is another surgery. I don't think I will need it. But I know you will reassure me or tell me the truth.
I didnt go to the gym this afternoon. I stayed back at work and made a paper xmas tree to put up on the wall. I might hit it tomorrow. Cant Wednesday (might treadmill it) or Thursday as Im at the hospital right after work getting a fill. Im usually exhausted Tuesday because I have all the major cleaning at work. But Im gonna push past that.

-skinny "grrrrrrr"biddy :0)

Fill Time!

I need a fill badly. I was trying to go without but I can't. I have three weeks until I am due for my next one. The question is, do I keep on truckin and possibly put on weight in the next three weeks, or call tomorrow and demand to talk to Dr Fill and get in earlier. 3 weeks is a long time. I am working so hard to get to my goal for Xmas and I want to make it.
Thoughts?
Went to the gym today for an hour. I loved it! Hadnt been in 3 days and missed it. Planning on going Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday. Wednesday I have my first CCWLSS meeting (im nervous speaking in front of all those people!!) and Thursday I have a dinner with all my netball buddies.
Hope everyone had a nice weekend :0)

-skinny "GET ME A FILL DAMMIT!"biddy :0)

Urgh

I feel exhausted today and very nauseous. I have been so busy this week, I've worked 2 extra days, gone to gym in arvos or the shops, come home and been swamped with things to do. I havent had the chance to relax. I didnt get up until midday today and after I got home from pedi and nail infill I went to bed until 7.20 tonight.
I was planning on going to the gym yesterday, WAAAAY too hot. And I couldnt today. I set the alarm to get up, but I just could not do it!
So tomorrow I have a plan to make myself go- my car is on empty and the gym is next to my fave petrol station so I have to go so I can fill up :0)
Im also a little dizzy tonight. I didnt get a chance to eat until 4 pm today. Something I dont normally do. I was at salon getting nails done for 3 hrs- I didnt know it was going to take that long. So I think because I came home and ate my blood sugars are all over the place.
My dietician emailed me about the weight thing. She said that because its new (my exercising) I would be putting on muscle. Usually it happens more so with weights but can with cardio. So Im sticking it out for a month. I mean my clothes are looser, had to even put my belt up the next knotch on some new pants I bought...
Will post more pics this week when my computer is fixed..

-skinny biddy :0)