My First.....

Today Mum and I went to the shops to buy my Pandora bracelet. Aparently they have become quite popular so they've had to order it in for me. They are going up in price as of April 1st so the company is holding off the stock until Tuesday so they can make some extra dough. Slack I know but I still want that bracelet!
We went out for lunch afterwards and I had a chicken schnitzel wrap from Muffin Break. It did take me awhile to eat, and I chewed very well. I had no problems at all which was good because I was very nervous about eating out. I was also able to eat the whole thing which tells me I definately need a fill.
Dinner tonight I tried bbq chicken for the first time. Again I chewed very well expecting problems but didnt have any. I didnt really enjoy it to be honest with you. But I am having one of those days where all I want to do is eat crap. lol.
I think I was able to aviod blockages today also because I had breakfast. I didnt allow myself to get to that "Im so hungry I could kill someone" state. Because when I get like that I dont chew and get myself into trouble.
Going out again tomorrow for lunch with a good friend. I've been there before but can't remember all the things they serve. Hoping there is something there for me!
I know i do have two loyal readers- thanks mjwdec73 and libsmom. Thanks for your support. Because every time I see I have a new comment I get very excited to hear what you have to say!

-skinny biddy :0)

I'm Bored

Found this quiz so thought that I'd see what I'm really like. I knew sloth was going to be the worst!!

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Low
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz on 4degreez.com

YAY!!!!

So its offical! I've lost my first 10 kilos! Actually I've lost 11.4 kilos according to my home scales. I am going to go off them as I will use them more than the doctors ones. For all you americans out there (yes libsmom, thats you!) it means I've lost 25.1 pounds.
I've also lost 21 cms all over in the last month!! Which is 8.26 inches Libsmom.
I've been battling a bad headache the last few days. I'm drinking all my water so maybe its just because my hormones are all over the place. I dunno, sick of trying to figure it out!
Off to get my Pandora bracelet tomorrow! I've earnt two charms! Thinking of a "b" and the leo zodiac charm.
I don't think I will be taking the traineeship. The last thing I want right now is to be stressed. Plus I've realised this isn't want I really want to do. If I was to do it, it would be settling. I want more. And I feel like I can be more now. I love children so much but my heart isn't there anymore. So I'm going to turn it down and hopefully she will still give me the work for the 6 months. She was just offering me the traineeship so that she didn't have to pay me as much.
Libsmom- vegemite is an aussie food. Its made from yeast extract. It doesnt sound nice but if you grow up with it then its an essential. I think its like americans and peanut butter and jelly. Nil means nothing.
Todays food was pretty bad, well dinner was.

Breakfast- 4 cruskits with 140 grams of spaghetti
Lunch- Berocca
Snack- handful cashews
Dinner- McDonalds. (last time ever. We usually have take out friday night but after next week and my fill I wont be able to handle it so its offically out.)

I can't believe that after my next mini goal of 105 kilos, 5 more and i'm 100! I feel like I can actually do this!!! I'm gonna put the jewellers outta pandora stock!
I didnt work out today but in my defense my headache was bad and I was exhausted- i didnt get to bed until 5 a.m. I couldnt stop thinking about my new life. And how easy I was finding it. I know there could be tough times ahead but so far its been amazing.
Life is good. No, life is amazing!!!

-skinny biddy :0)

My Day Continued

So I was a little, well no majorly, stressed out in my earlier post. I have realised that what she is offering me is just to benefit her so I'm thinking of rejecting the offer. I will give it a little longer to think about however. I did ask her to tell me exactly how much I was going to be getting an hour but no response as of yet.
Looks like I'll be looking for another job.
Today I was able to exercise! After all that stress this afternoon I decided to use it to my advantage and jumped on the treadmill. I braved the cobwebs out in the garage and everything!! lol. I only did 20 mins. I could definately have done a lot more but figured its the first time back in the swing of things so I didn't want to push myself too hard.
I've also signed up to www.fitday.com its a really great site where you can write down your food intake for the day and it works out your calories as well as what percentage of fats, carbs and protein you are eating each day. You can also write down your daily exercise and it calculates how many calories you have burnt.

Todays food:
Breakfast- Nil
Lunch- 4 cruskits (vegemite, cottage cheese and tomato)
Snack- Berocca
Dinner- Spaghetti Bolognaise (about 1 and a half cups)

I need to drink more water!! My skin has become super dry because of it. I am going to drink as much as I can. I know how super important it is.

Off to the dietician tomorrow morning. Megan wants to check that I am able to eat most foods in preparation for my first fill next Friday. I say bring it on, I am able to eat quite a lot. Not as much as I could pre banding but enough to realise I need a fill.

-Skinny Biddy :0)

Stressed out

Just got a sms from my boss. I thought I was working 6 months at pre school for someone on maternity leave. Im only on call so was very happy about it. But now she wants to give me a traineeship for 6 months. The course is meant to go over a year but she wants to fast track it. This way she saves money as the government pays for it. I now have to decide whether to do it or not. I was really hoping just to work the 6 months, save the money and use it towards going to america. I want to live over there as an au pair for a year. I only need about $3000. I will not get this with doing a traineeship. I will end up getting shit pay. Oh! Also, I dont get to go to a class each week, I have to work the days that the classes are. So I basically have to do the course myself.
I'm stressed. I feel like turning it down and just getting a shitty job to save up the money for america. I've wanted to do it for years but always chickened out.
I dont know. I'm torn up inside.....argh!!

-stressed skinny biddy :0)

Wednesday is: Hump-a-liciuos

Went to my GP today. I wasn't sure if I was happy with him after he called me up last week having a go at me because I forgot to cancel an appointment. I realised after seeing him today that he is just a great doctor. I haven't had one so caring in such a long time so it has been a little bit of a shock. I have only been going to him since Nov last year after my doctor made a comment to me that I didnt really appreciate. But I'm really happy with my new doctor.
I got my last Gardasil injection. I was able to sit up and have it, something I've never done before. I usually get a little fainty but I was fine. I think after the 9 or so I had during my hospital stay two weeks ago (two week bandiversary!) I am a lot better at having needles. I better get used to them! lol. Fills don't happen without them! I know they don't hurt so I'm not worried about them at it. I'm actually really excited. Can't wait for more restriction!
Today I slept a lot. I think its because I've got a cold. But I didnt get outta bed til really late. I didnt eat anything because I wasnt really hungry. But after a few hours it suddenly hit me and I was starving!!! I was at shops so bought a Thai Chilli Chicken Wrap. Got home and ate too fast. So I got a blockage. Ouchie! I should have known better also because it had lettuce on it. I experimented with lettuce last night and got a blockage. So lettuce is out for me. I also got a slap on the wrist for not chewing. CHEW CHEW CHEW!!!
I havent started workout out or walking yet. I am still super tired. It could be because of my cold though.
I have zilch when it comes to money at the moment. I was talking to mum and she told me she would buy me the pandora bracelet. I love her so much!! Im going to get a Zodiac Leo one for my first charm. And I've seen some on ebay. They may not be pandora ones but they will fit and less expensive. So thats how I am going to celebrate my weight loss.

Todays food:
Breakfast- Berocca
Lunch- Thai Chilli Chicken Wrap
Dinner- 2 Sushi rolls and pasta salad

-Skinny biddy :0)

Rewards

So I was reading someone's weighloss blog. They didn't have the band and didn't have as much weight to lose as me but had the great idea of rewarding themselves with a Pandora charm for each 5 kilos they lose. So I thought that was a great idea. I wanted to reward myself but things like getting your hair done etc dont last forever. This way I have something on my wrist that reminds me of my success and pushes me towards my goal.
Then I saw how much a single charm was. Ok, $18 I can deal with, $250- get fucked! Excuse the french. So I'm looking to see if I can find a cheaper version. Lol. I have no money.
What is everyone doing reward wise for weight loss?

-skinny biddy :0)

The Day the Easter Bunny came...

This is my Sunday blog (It's 1.45 am and I havent been to bed yet so technically its Sunday night for me!).
Mr Easter Bunny bought me:
Milktray (12 in box)
Ferrero Rocher (30 in box)
11 caramello eggs

After being able to eat anything I wanted on Friday, today I wasnt very hungry. Heres my food:
Breakfast: Nil
Lunch: country cheese biscuits (fruit chuntey and cheese)
Snack: Berocca
Dinner: 1 rissole, prawn salad, creamy pasta and potato bake.
Supper: Chocolate of course!

Now the dinner may seem a little much but gotta think of portion sizes. I don't think that I told you guys about the plate that I bought. Its AWESOME as its designed for bandsters and shows you the right portion sizes to have. So I use this all the time especially for dinner.
http://www.greatideas.net.au/default.htm
just type in gastric band to find the plate.

I was able to sleep on my left side last night. Yay!!! I'm a tosser (hahaha) at night so its been hard not to be able to switch sides. I get all crampy in the one position.
I also can't stop playing with my port. lol. Its weird to have a foreign object in your body. But its good because I know I definately have my band in. Some days I feel like they didnt put it in. Its also a reminder about respecting my band and being its friend. And not mistreating it.

-skinny biddy :0)

My Easter Weekend So Far

So I haven't written in a few days and that feels like years to me!
I over did it a little Friday. I was feeling pretty good so I was cleaning my room. I mean serious cleaning! I re arranged some pictures, threw out a mass of junk and sorted out my bookcase. After my short burst of energy I was exhausted, sore and had a room that looked worse than when I started! I didn't end up getting to bed until 4 am because my port area was so sore. Silly me I know. Learnt not to do too much just yet.
Food wise I can eat too much. My concerns were confirmed Friday night when I was able to eat McDonalds. I was tired after my bedroom cleaning so grabbed some takeaway. Fries went down fine. I tried one of those double beef and bacon burgers. That was a mistake. It was very dry and hurt so much going down. I was worried it would get stuck or I'd pb but neither happend. The pain lasted about 60 seconds and felt fine afterwards. Of course I still went on to eat a whole Mcfeast burger. I think because its got all that sauce in it, it was easy to eat. I can already feel your heads shaking, hands in the air yelling "why bridget why?????!!!!!"
I am definately looking foward to my first fill in two weeks.
I'm pmsing at the moment and thats usually the time when I have my biggest downfall. I really really crave carbs at that time. I've been "good" this time around and sticking to Cruskits.
I went to my nan's Saturday to see relos from Sydney. We got there around 3.30 and they were already cooking dinner. My step-pop was hungry so wanted us to all eat when it was best for him. Selfish man. So we fought it off till 5. I wasn't going to eat at that time because I was still full from the 4 cruskits I had for breakfast. Plus I knew my nan would be watching my every mouthful. I have told you before that the woman is obsessed with food. To a point where she starves herself to loose weight. She looks super super skinny now, bad skinny. My mum made the mistake of telling her she looked thin. My nan took this as a compliment. See, told you it was bad. So I said I couldn't eat yet. She pressured me all night but I ignored it. If I have to deal with this for the next however long shes around I don't think I'll cope. I will have to get mum to talk to her. She's not getting my subtilties.
I've noticed that I am getting snappy sometimes. My mum is the one that cops it. Any other bandsters had this happen? It pops up from outta the blue and I feel like a monster, I cant control it.
Food for Saturday:
Breakfast- 4 cruskits (2- vegemite, cottage cheese, tomato) (2- cheese and fruit chutney)
Lunch- Nil
Dinner- Salmon and vegies
Supper- 4 cruskits (vegemite, cottage cheese and tomato) - i know bad! shouldnt have had!
Also had some chocolate....

Ok well its 2.14 am on Sunday morning. I should get some sleep before the easter bunny arrives.
Hurry up April 4th!!!!!!!!!!! I really really really need a fill! A big one!!!

-skinny (needing a fill or wont be skinny) biddy :0)

Thanks Guys

First off, I changed my band's name back to Barbie. Fits better.

I just re-read all the comments that have been left on my blog. I also noticed I have had over 500 hits on my blog. I want to say thankyou to everyone who is reading. It means a lot to know I have support.

-skinny biddy :0)

I'm So Hungry!

Last night I couldn't get to sleep because my stomach was rumbling so loudly. I was so hungry!!! Food!! Feed me! I waited as long as I could, drank as much water as I could but ended up having a handful of nuts. Then was able to get to sleep. I emailed my dietician and her response was the opposite of what I thought it would be. She was "thrilled" that I was hungry. lol. And wanted me to use the next two weeks before my fill to try lots of foods (chicken, bread, toast, salads) to use if I can tolerate everything.
I am really struggling with this information. That I can eat. I am so used to starving myself when trying to lose weight. So now I'm not going to deprive myself.
I'm really enjoying food. Before surgery I was mindless eating. Now I'm appreciating the smell, taste, sound, texture. Thinking of healthy combinations of foods. And I'm cooking. Something that I only do when I feel passion.
Libsmom- 9 kilos is 19.8 lbs. I am very happy with that weight. But I know I will probably put on a little in the next two weeks as I'm now eating foods.
Before band I was addicted to take away. McDonalds Drive Thru knew me so well. But I have no desire for it at all. I would rather sit down with a nice home cooked meal. It's crazy. It's amazing. No junk food is awesome!
I'm already seen the results of my weight loss and healthier lifestyle. Having PCOS gives me lots a little horrible side effects. One being acne. My skin has cleared up so dramtically in such a short space of time. Still a little way to go but any progress is a positive.
Thought I'd let you know what I've been eating. I'm keeping a food diary each day so I can look back each day on my foods and tweak it. See if I'm eating enough protein, calcium and veggies.
Yesterday:
Breakfast- apple and sultana porridge.
Lunch- I piece of toast, baked beans and an egg
Snack- slice of cheese
Dinner- quiche and seafood salad
Supper- country cheese biscuits

Today so far:
Breakfast- 140 g spaghetti plus 1 cruskit
Snack/possibly lunch- 2 cruskits with cheese and fruit chutney
Dinner will be chicken bolognaise.

Today has been first day without any pain or uncomfort. I'm still being careful not to lift heavy items or push myself to extreme. But wanting to walk so will start to on weekend. Put gym membership on hold for 6 weeks as Dr said no ab work in that time. So will make use of my treadmill and the great outdoors. I'm starting to look a little (well no very very) pasty white.
My Nan just called. Checking to see how I was. And, of course, asking what I'm eating. I think I will have to defer the subject in a few weeks. I know she is just concerned about me but the woman is also obsessed with food. She always watches what everyone eats and their waist line. Shes the woman who is constantly on a diet, be it a fruit smoothie diet or a cabbage soup one. She has no weight problem at all. So when it starts to get my goat I will politely tell her everything is fine and im happy with the way its working out but focusing on other things in my life also.
This time last week I was throwing up blood and in agony. My how quickly I've recovered and grown.

-skinny biddy :0)

No more liquids woot!!!!

Went to the dietician today. My sister was going to drive me but her car wouldn't start. What is it with me and cars this week! Day of surgery the car broke down, now this! So I ended up driving myself.
Checked the scales, I've lost 9 kilos in 3 weeks! I'm very happy with that! Now just need that one kilo to break the 10 kilo weight loss! I weighed myself at home too so I know the difference with the homes ones compared to Drs ones.
When I went in to see my dietician she said "come in enlarged liver girl!". lol. I have to laugh. All the things that went wrong! Apparently I am a special case. Which makes me feel awesome! lol. We discussed if I was hungry (yes), if I was tolerating all the liquids (yes) and if I was ready to move on (YES YES YES!!) So we talked about how to progress onto the mushies, then to "normal" food. I booked my appointment with my Dr for first fill yesterday, its 3 weeks from surgery date which is a week earlier than normal but dietician says I should be ready. It was the first time I've heard a dietician say "i want you to try as much food as possible!!" I have a week and a half to be able to eat normally.
Libsmom- my dr and dietician are relaxed with the eating rules yes. I have heard of some people needing to be on liquids for 4 weeks! The reason that my dr says its ok to move on sooner is because he noticed that people kept complaining about being hungry.
Mjwdec73- its a deal. We'll slap each other!!!!
So on way home stop off and got some KFC potato and gravy. To be honest with you, I didn't like it at all. It was nothing. Much rather my own mashed potato.
Tonight I'm making Shepard's Pie. Tomorrow I'm off to buy food. I am swimming in soups at home but no need for anymore!

-skinny biddy :0)

Magic Day 5

My friend from the Central Coast Bandsters let me in on what happens on "Magic Day 5". She said that some people wake up and experience no pain whatsoever. I thought it was a little hard to believe, from the amount of pain I was in. She was totally right!! I am off my pain meds, doesn't hurt taking deep breaths, got 5 1/2 hrs sleep (best so far), able to walk without holding my side. I was listening to music today (Sara Barellies- check her out) and even wanted to boogie. haha
I was hungry today. I drank all the fluids I was told to, even extra. So I had some mashed baked beans. Man oh man!!! BEAUTIFUL! I took it slow, made sure it was liquid in my mouth before I swallowed. I am seeing my dietician tomorrow so will dicuss going on mushies. She allows it between 3-5 days and max 2 weeks.
When I go there I will also check my weight on there scales, then will compare to home ones to see difference. I have had a few people already ask me bout my weight, and if I've lost much. I'm blowing them off at the moment. I'm 5 days out from surgery and its not something on my mind right now. I'm focusing on healing my body. I'm also ready for this to take me some time. Its not a sprint, its a marathon. It's been a 20 year stuggle with weight, I don't expect it off in 20 days. 20 months maybe ;0) On some message boards I have noticed such a huge emphasis on 100's of grams. I REFUSE to let myself become caught up in the nitty gritty. Dear reader, please hold me to that. I give you permission to cyber slap me if I have a post entitled "Why didn't I lose 100 grams today?" or "My life is over, I've put on 400 grams."
Thanks to mjwdec73 and libsmom for the comments. Love your blogs ladies, put a link on the right hand side of my page so people can check it out. If there is anyone else out there reading, don't be shy, I'm not that hungry, won't bite you!

-skinny biddy :0)

Getting Better Everday

Hi Guys,
Thanks to everyone who left me a comment in the last week. It really meant a lot to me.
Thought I'd update you. Let you know how I'm going with everything.
So taking meds for my pleasant oral thrush (thank god its only in my mouth!) that was a nice gift for the Antibiotic Fairy. Many thanks. Cannot sleep at night. I am a stomach sleeper and that's definately a no no. I spent ALL of last night awake trying to find a comfy position but to no avail. My left side is sore, sometimes due to the gas I get a sharp pain when I breathe.
I get a little better each day which is awesome. Once I get the sleeping under control I know I will feel somewhat normal.
As for the liquids I think I am doing quite well. Not up to the recommended 1.5 Litres to move onto mushies but I am working on it. I'm not a soup fan so thats a bit dificult. But I did find these super cheap (32 cents to be exact) dried Chicken Noodle Soups. I just strain it to get out the noodles and its nice. I think tonight I'm gonna order a soup from the Chinese takeaway shop up the road for some variation. Its not something I will do often but I just need something different and normal. lol.
Mood wise I've been good. I had a few tears last night when I couldn't get to sleep, more frustration than anything else. Friday a tiny cry too. Just shock, I didn't realise it was going to be so painful. For any soon-to-be-banded don't just take my experience as how it is going to be. I had a few complications that made it a little more difficult. Read as many other bandsters blogs as possible!
Able to swollow Panadol Mini caps so take them every four hours. As well as De-Gas every two hours. A heat pack has also helped with the gas pain and shoulder pain.
Bring on mushies I say........ can't wait for shepards pie....omg yum...

-skinny biddy :0)

Recap on my banding surgery....

So i'm feeling a little better. Want to take the time to recap my surgery day. Here goes...
Woke up at 8 am after getting to sleep at 5 a.m. Was very tired! Had a shower, got ready. Noticed I was having a bad hair day. Tried to not let that effect me. I can be very supersticious.
My mum was the only one coming with me but at the last minute my sister decided she wanted to come. She was going to drive her car so she needed to stop off and get petrol. She had to follow us because she didn't know the way. We get to the petrol station and of course, mums car wont start. Im now all stressed because I'll be late, mums yelling as well as sister. We get back home, get into another car and are on our way.
We do get there late. We wait a little while at admission. I got called into a room to check weight and answer all these questions. If I didn't know my birth date before I certainly new it today! The anaesthesist came into the room and asked the same questions again, checked my veins and said he'd see me soon. Then they told me they were ready for me. It was so quick!! I grabbed mum and bernadette and told them i was being taken in. I got changed into the biggest hospital gown ive ever seen and was allowed to wear my own undies! woot! i got into bed, had a heparin injection and was off. didn't have time to do the whole emotional farewell to the family. didnt have time to back out.
I get into the pre op room and recite my dob again. get my iv put in (i hate needles but this one never hurt) and get something to make me relax. they wheel me into operating room and asks me to shift over to the cutting board (table). i remember the anaesthesist saying something but not too sure what. I don't remember anything after that.
Woke up in recovery. I was trying to fight the anaesthetic, wanted my mum. I don't know how long I was there for but I got wheeled into my room and saw my beautiful mum and sister. I was in a fair bit of pain then and trying to wake up. My Nan and Pop came and I had a conversation with them. I can't remember it at all. I do remember my mum laughing at me because I was talking with one eye open/one shut. Apparently that was funny. They left, so did my sister, and I slept. Dad was my next visitor. I don't think he was there for very long, well what I can remember of it. He bought me in a present that my dear friend Cass had sent me in the mail. A book to read when I was feeling better. She wrote a wonderful card too which I kept next to me my whole hospital stay.
I don't really remember what happend for the rest of that day. I do remember throwing up though after pain medication was given to me, it was black and freaked me out!! I was waking up every few hours in pain. Everytime I was given tramal I threw up. Sometimes there was blood. It wasn't plesant. I think I threw up around 6 times. When my DR came to see me the next morning he said I shouldn't be so kept me in one more night. He also told me that I had an enlarged left lobe of my liver. It wasn't fatty, I was just born with it. He said he nearly didn't do the operation but decided to in the end. I also bled a little more than normal. So due to these things I was going to be a little more swollen than most people. Joy.
I think by 12.30 Thursday afternoon I realised that the meds were making me sick so let nurse know.didn't give it to me again and never threw up again. By thursday night I was starting to really feel the gas pain. Man that fucking hurts!!!!!!!!!!
I think so far thats been the worst part of it. So I starting walking around my room to try and move it. I was unable to burp from my top end. It was the hardest night so far. So much pain, couldnt find a comfy position to sleep in.
Friday morning a nurse came in that had done a shift the previous day with me. She was happy to see me outta bed and decided since I was nauseous anymore and wasnt throwing up to send me home. I was so excited!! Mum came to pick me up. The car ride home was rough. I hadn't had any pain medication and sitting was hard. I was glad when we reached home.
Last night was difficult. Mum has been amazing but by 4 am she was starting to get a little impatient. Everyday I'm feeling a lot better so I won't need her as much. Lol, I do atm, I need a shower badly and need her to help me.
Walking has helped with gas, but degas is awesome. I tried chewable but just weren't good enough. Was able to swollow the tablets so been taking them. Also taking Panadol. Tried the liquid but I just cant do it. Plus it takes too long to drink. So onto the Panadol capsules. I am able to get them done. Very happy.
Liquid wise I have just finished my first shake, taken me two hrs to drink. Also drinking my Berrocca. After that will have some water then maybe a soup or some chicken broth. I'm Day 3 and not hungry at all. Sister had Maccas last night, it didnt phase me one bit. Over it. Want to be healthy. I think since Op ive lost a few kilos. I actually feel a lot heavier though due to gas. So when all that shifts I'll feel amazing! lol.
Thats all for now.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend. I'll be watching Lord of The Rings with the sister I think.
-skinny biddy :0)

I'm Home

Hey All,
I'm home. Had a few complications. I have a large left lobe liver, not fatty. So it was hard for him to do it. So I have a lot more swelling than normal. Also there was a lot of bleeding. So I ended up staying an extra night.
Will write more in a few days when im feeling less ouchy.
-skinny biddy :0)

Get Ready! Get Ready!!!!!

Bags are packed.
Will is written (wrote one on my laptop, i dont have much its just in case. i know i dont need it).
Fluids are bought.
Magazines packed.
Letter to parents written.
Butterflies in stomach.
Smile on my face.


See you on the other side.

Soon to be Skinny Biddy :0)

Waiting on my World to Change

(huge john mayer fan hence blog title)

Right now I'm sitting here waiting to go see some of the bandsters. I think I'll start to get nervous then. I haven't yet which is surprising. Although I have done an awful lot during the past few weeks so maybe I've reached my quota??!!
Got a call at 3.30 pm informing me I need to be admitted at 10.15. I was a little shocked as I thought I was being operated on at 9.40. I guess its changed. Bonus sleep in is nice but I doubt I will. I actually got the call early which was nice. I had thoughts running through my head that I wouldn't be called until 8. My dietician also called me. Wished me good luck, told me to "enjoy my day today". I found that a very interesting thing to say. Then had something to eat. Haha.
I weighed myself last night to find I had lost a staggering 10.1 kilos in the 13 days of Opti-fast. Now me being me is in total denial about it and will refuse to accept this weight. I will wait until I get weighed at the hospital. And if it is 10.1 kilos I will be in total shock. Most of it is fluids for me as I have PCOS and suffer from fluid retention. One of my old doctors didn't believe me when I told her that some mornings I would wake up 5 kilos heavier. She just thought "silly little fat girl". I could see it in her eyes. I ended up leaving her when I went to her one day and she said "well I see you've put back on all the weight you lost" after my stint on Duromine. I suffered from suicidal thoughts, blackouts, dehydration and a bulging disk (thought i was a god but apparently i wasnt). But as long as I was losing the weight she wanted me on it.
Its a somewhat reflective day I guess. Looking back at all my failed diet attempts. It's weird to know that this one is for real.
I'm ready to do the hard work. I'm ready to look inside myself and address whatever emotional issues come out of me during this time.

Will post later tonight when I'm not so well put together....
-bridget :0)

The Night Before The Night Before

I decided to have a last meal tonight as the family was having Chinese. BAD IDEA. Because I haven't eaten all day it was a bit much for me. Now I am having dizzy spells and my heart is beating super fast.

I didn't get to bed until 6 a.m. My sister reminded me that tomorrow is my last day before surgery. It hit me. I welled up with tears. Wow.
My Nan came to see me today, wished me luck. I tried to explain it to her a little more but I don't think she understands. But she is being supportive which is the main thing. She is going to come and see me in the afternoon so I hope I'm alert enough to acknowledge she came to see me.
Tomorrow I'm meeting up with some bandsters. Haven't seen them for a while so it'll be very nice! One of the girls got banded 6 weeks ago so I'm going to pick her brain. Then I'm going to pack and wait for the all important call to see what time I gotta be in hospital!!!
mjwdec73- i have no idea why i chose that name. I thought it was sweet and loveable i guess. I actually got the idea to name the band after I saw your post saying you couldn't get the name ABBA outta your head. Hilarious.
Pam- I'd love to keep in contact with you too. I think its really important to have support from fellow bandsters as sometimes the family just don't get it!

I can't remember if I told everyone that my Dad is actually booked in to the get the band. His first consultation is April 15th. I can tell how excited he is about it. Everytime I talk about it he usually cuts me off and starts talking about him. Its kinda frustrating as this is my time right now but I know he only does that when he is super excited. And that doesn't happen often.

Can any bandits tell me how many days it was until they were feeling ok? Mum is taking wed, thursday off. Wanted to take Friday off so I won't be by myself but the woman at work wouldn't swap days with her as shes getting her hair done. So selfish. She knows I'm going in for surgery. Geez some people! So hoping I can move around fine on the Friday, I wont be able to drive though. Maybe should get a friend over???

-bridget :0)

Change of Heart

No don't worry I haven't changed my mind about the surgery. I just decided to change the name of my band. Bessie.
So its 5.27 am on Monday morning. I haven't been to bed yet, can't get to sleep no matter how hard I try.
I did weigh myself. Drumroll please!!!!!!!!!!! 9.3 kilos! I need 700 grams to get me to that first 10 kilo loss! Pretty amazing considering my cheats. Knowing me i'll get to the scales at the hospital and it'll be a lot less. haha.
That's it for now. Man I'm starving........

-bridget :0)

The Naming of the Band

I've decided that since the band is a friend and a tool which I will use in aiding my weight loss it needs a name. I went through a few with mum and dad. Dad suggested U2 and Mum suggested Beyonce. I don't know what it is with them thinking of famous people but I don't think so. After a few minutes tossing around some ideas I've decided on Barbie. Barbie clearly has silicone in her body and so will I. Mine will be a little different however.
So it's Barbie the Band.
Went to buy some books today that were recommended on the Yahoo Lap Band Health Forums. If you haven't been there and are getting the band done/thinking about getting the band/have the band check them out. They have been super helpful for me. They have everything you need to know, the pros and cons. Anyway, went to get the books and they weren't there. I should have called first because I got mum up and organised for nothing. Ordered them online but won't have them for Wednesday. I wanted to have them to read in hospital. But now I guess I'll stock up on magazines.
I am starting to get very anxious. I'm not doubting the band whatsoever. I am 100% ready for it. I'm just scared of the unknown. If only I could look into the future 6 months, 1 year from now and see what the outcome is. I was actually thinking of going to see a psychic. I have been a few times and they have always been spot on about something. I went to one last year on my 20th birthday. It was funny because she referenced something about having something in my stomach. I had no idea what it meant then, now of course I do. I wish I could get it done before the surgery but I have zilch money so unless I can get some off mum I don't think I'll be getting it done.
Well its 12.03 am. That means 2 days til surgery. Wow it has gone quick.
Thanks to mjwdec73 for another wonderful comment. I read your blog in one sitting tonight. I loved it. I think that blogs are getting my through the waiting. Being able to read about other peoples journeys, the ups and downs. Such a comfort.
As I end this blog I have butterflys....
Bring on this week!
-bridget :0)

Feeling Better....

So after last night's wory fest woke up feeling better. I emailed my dietician last night in a panic and now am regretting it. I haven't gotten a response yet but hoping she doesn't grill me on what I've eaten. Or worse, tell my Dr! I am still worried that he'll open me up and my liver will be too bad to operate on. But trying to think positively.
Couldn't believe that after my McDonalds last night I weighed myself and was actually lighter!! Crazy!!! I'm not exactly sure what my starting weight was. I didn't look at the weigh in but I was weighed three times that day for dfiferent things. I think it was 123 kg so that means I've lost 8.4 kilos on the Opti-fast. I did weigh myself at home 4 days later on day 2 of opti-fast and I was 123 kilos. So it works out right because I was holding a lot of fluid (thanks PCOS) when orignal weight was recorded.
I went with mum to buy all my liquids today. I also bought some very very huge nighties to be comfy in and an amazing pillow called the "Body Mate". Man I should have had one of those earlier in my life. As a single woman not having a man in my life this pillow is amazing to hug. lol. Seriously. Buy it. It still doesn't quite feel like in a few days my life is going to change. I think if I was able to grasp this fact then it would hit me like a ton of bricks and I would back out. Me and change have never been friends. I am afraid of it. So for me to decide I want to uproot not only my outer self but who I have been for 20 years, its bizzare. But I have never been so sure about something before either.
I'm going to see my nan tomorrow. She knows about the banding, although she doesn't understand it. She wants to see me before the op. I wouldn't mind her coming into the hospital to see me. The more the merrier! I want as many visitors as possible. And flowers. Lol. I'm saying this now but I'll probably be outta it the whole time and won't remember who came in to see me.
Thanks to Charmy and mjwdec73 for the comments you left for me. You do not know how much they picked me up last night.

I just got an email back from my dietician. I don't think I've ever been that nervous opening an email up! She is amazing! She said if I had lost the 4 kilos needed I should be right. Its very reassuring that I have support from my team! I am such a stupid girl for being so worried I think!!!

Thats it for today. Oh, I actually already have half my bag packed for Wednesday. Eager I know!!

Enjoy the rest of the weekend beautifuls!!

-bridget :0)

Oops

I feel pretty damn guilty now. Had McDonalds. Freaking the fuck out that I've screwed everything up.
Will spend the next four days sticking to diet 1000%. And will drink lots and lots of water. Not even a last meal on Tuesday night!
Anyone out there who is on Opti-fast or about to me. DONT DO WHAT I DID. Even if its purely for the guilt side of it.
Omg. What if I've ruined everything?????????????

-bridget :0(

The Truth

Day 10 of the Opti-fast. 5 days til the surgery. Yay!!!
Ok, I am going to be honest. The reason I started this blog was not only to let people in on my journey but to tell the complete truth. To lay it out on the line and not lie to myself.
I haven't been following the Opti-fast as well as I could have been. I've been eating my veggies. drinking my water and drinking my shakes. However, I try all the tricks in the bag (drinking lots of water, eating veggies, have a shake) and I'm starving!!! So I was cheating and having some toast. Also, I had a little McDonalds last Friday and once this week. I felt a little guilty but decided I'm sick of making myself guilty after food. Yes, I stuffed up. But I have to move on. And I am not going to try and justify it. I knew what I was doing. I was potentially un shrinking my liver. In saying that, I will probaly end up having Maccas for dinner tonight, only a little bit. And the night before my surgery. I've been talking to my mum a lot about this. She hasn't really helped the situation when she's telling me that I'll be fine, I've lost the 4 kilos needed and I'm a 20 year old non drinker so my liver won't be as fatty and enlarged. Also some doctors don't actually do Opti-fast for people with a bmi under 40 and I'm 42. Yes over 40 but only just.
I'm not even sure I have anyone reading this blog but I'm enjoying writing it.So if you are out there reading please drop me a comment!
This time next week I'll be at home banded and on my way to becoming Skinny Biddy!! Unless I wake up without it in, then i'll be a Pissed off Parker!! But I have a feeling I'll be fine.
Have a great weekend. I'll be out shopping for liquids!!

-bridget :0)

Geez Louise- 6 days!!!!!

Six days to go until Skinny Biddy is born.
Feeling really good now on Opti-fast. I won't lie and say I've followed it 100%. More like 70%. I do very well in the days then midnight hits and im starving. No water, veggies or shakes fill me up so I end up having some toast.
I've lost 6 kilos so far. Very happy with that. I know I'll never lose that much in a week again.
I'm proud of myself at the moment. I know I have made mistakes but I will not beat myself up over them. I will never make myself feel guilty again for eating food. That was Big Bridget's daily emotion. I'm kicking it to the curb. I do feel like my mind set is already changing. I can see already how amazing my life is going to be after banding. No more constantly thinking about food in such a negative manner. Only postive thoughts.
I am so ready to do this. 6 days, its coming so quickly!



Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.
- Arundhati Roy


-bridget :0)

The Hump

Day 6 of Opti-fast and I'm over the inner struggle. I haven't been hungry at all today. I've only has two shakes so far and will have some soup later. Last night I was very very emotional. Ended up crying for half an hour over some toast I was desperate to have. Ended up having the toast but realised I only needed half a slice and I was statisfied. No cheats today, feel very proud of myself. I'm stating to feel used to being on this stuff. I feel hopeful. I know I have cheated along the way (I didn't admit it but on Friday night I had a little McDonalds...........) but all is good. I'm definately focused now.
Got a call from the hospital today. They wanted to confirm my admission for March 12th. It was a quick conversation, I'm not on my diabex anymore (for insulin resistance) so no more meds for me. She said "well you seem healthy so you'll be right". Lol. Yeah heaps healthy, im having gastric banding surgery because im obese!!
Tomorrow night I'm off to another information session. I'm going to support my Dad who wants to have this procedure done also. It will be good to go and see someone else talk about their weight loss after having the band. Hoping maybe one day I will be asked to talk at one. Take some fat pants and fit into one leg. lol.
I'm so positive now! Everything's gonna be alright....
-bridget :0)

Day 5 Opti-fast

Here's my horoscope for the week:

LEO
Take it easy.This, I know, is not the kind of advice a Leo akways wants. You know that you're completely incapable of taking it. When you want something to happen, you want it to happen now. You'll move heaven and earth to make it happen. This month, you have a growing sense of urgency. You're sure that a significant shift must occur soon. You're right. It must and it will. That's all the more reason to take it easy. Your big moment is coming naturally- as fast as it can- of its own accord.




As I'm typing I'm sipping on my opti-slim Honeycomb shake. Loving it! The last few days I've had some slip ups so I want to get back on track. I think I'm not eating enough. Yesterday I only had one of my shakes.So today I'm making a better effort.
I wanna shift at least two more kilos. I think thats possible because I've got 10 more days. According to the scales im 7 kilos lighter. But I'm saying 4 kilos just in case of a difference on my scales and the ones im weighing in on surgery day. So i've lost the 4 kilos that my doctor said I need to lose before surgery.
No call from doctor to say there was a problem with my blood test results.... i gave it a week. Might call up on Monday just to double check. The last thing I want is for them to call me and have to reschedule and me be on this opti-fast for longer than I need to! lol.
My sister has a cold. So Bernadette, stay away from me. I love you but I can't get sick before surgery!!!!!
One more week then I can start getting crazy excited. Can't wait to shop for all the liquids, sounds weird but then I'll know i'm not dreaming.
10 days to go...

-bridget :0)