This Week's Goals...

Had a rough few days with my uncle passing away and finding out something that crushed me.
Each day its getting easier. And hurting less. Just reflecting and moving forward.
I've found that exercising is helping me. Its a great outlet for me. I'm finding that I can't miss a day without feeling a tinge of regret for not hitting the treadmill. I love that. So I am using that to my advantage this week, and making it a goal to work out 5 times this week for a minimum of 30 mins each session.
I'm getting a fill tomorrow. A very small one, like my surgeon recommended. I've admittedly eaten like shit since I've had fill out. Its chocolate. I'm addicted. Please help! Lol. My other goal this week is NOT to eat ANY chocolate whatsoever this week. You need to hold me to it cyber buddies... I shall report in to let you know how I go.
I've decided I'm definately going to Europe in two years. I'm going to spend the next two years saving as much as possible. Quit my job and go and see the world. I'd love to move to England for awhile. Thats where my family lives and I love the culture.... things that have happened to me in the last 6 months have made me reflect... I need to do things for me, no use in saying I'm going to do things. I have to actually do them....

Rest In Peace..

My uncle passed away yesterday.....
We are all still in shock. No one got to say their goodbyes...
Its so hard to see my father trying to be brave for everyone else.
I just want him to break, so we can be the ones looking after him....

I took today off work to take Dad to see his family. I have so much to do in the next few days. I have to put my hard hat on and just push through.

That number on the scales means nothing now. Who cares. When we die will that be all that matters? No. I'm moving on. Life is meant to be lived. Lived away from weight and size. And thats what I plan to do.

I am going to live

Rest In Peace dear uncle....

A Little Break

Needed a little break from the blogging. Nothing much banding wise has been going on either. I can eat anything and everything- just smaller portions than pre-band. After almost two weeks I am now starting to get really hungry in between meals so I am looking forward to next Monday- getting .2mls in.

Today I was doing some cleaning (awesome way to spend the long weekend!) and found an old pair of pants that are a size 24.... I put them on for a laugh.... I realised I was able to do something that I've ALWAYS wanted to do but havent been able to.... I put my whole body into one leg....

Working out at least every second day..... loving it!

Bits and Pieces

I think this is an important blog post for all us bandsters, and in fact anyone that is losing weight...
http://cheeseandsunkist.blogspot.com/2009/09/big-fat-comparison.html


Well I can eat! I woke up this morning and within an hour I was hungry. There was a strange noise that came outta my stomach...I didnt recall hearing it recently. After several moments I realised....my stomach was actually rumbling! So I thought I'd take a risk and have a piece of toast. Vegemite on toast. Mmmmm heaven. I actually ate it. And it filled me up completely. Which I loved! Lunch I had a piece of bread made into a sandwich which once again was easy to eat and filled me up. Afternoon snack of nuts. And dinner, my Dad (who is an amazing cook), wanted to do Indian Night so he cooked me a feast of Lamb Korma which was heaven!!
I am really really sore from the un-fill yesterday. I had trouble getting comfy last night and if I move around too much it really hurts. Its kinda as sore as when I first got banded.
Didn't work out today due to the sore abs. I'm hoping I feel better tomorrow arvo so I can get back into it. I havent worked out in two days and I'm feeling withdrawals lol.
So I have two weeks without being heavily restricted. Going to enjoy the challenge. I know I won't go silly with food choices, I respect my new body way too much. Plus I want to try and stay below that 89 I hit at the Drs surgery yesterday arvo. First time I've been below 90 there (scales are 2 kilos heavier there). I will not falter!

Back to Band

I got .5mls out today. What a freaking relief it was this afternoon I can tell you! To come home afterwards and be able to actually eat my dinner!
*Doing the happy dance! Doing the happy dance!*
Meanwhile the unfill itself was torture! It took the surgeon 3 needles, 15 minutes and a sore Skinny Biddy later for me to walk out knowing I could eat a meal. There should be no need for me to tell you I'm sore. I expect bruising. In fact I was told to expect it. And my poor surgeon kept apologising- " I havent had such a bad time of a fill in awhile" ..... serves me right, I had just told him I'd gotten over my fear of needles after having the band. Lol.
So my plan of attack I know you are wondering.... eating veggies and salad. God I want them! I want to get as many yummy nutritious foods into me. I've missed them. So I'm looking forward to that!!
Exercise- I've been doing 30 mins daily. I didnt tonight, after I ate I was majorly dizzy- my blood sugar levels are all over the place and might take a few days to get under control.
I'm a happy chappy! Back on track!

Thank God..

Fill out tomorrow afternoon.... thank god.... I managed to get an earlier appointment...... food- here I come!!!
Cannot wait for a plate of veggies.... or salad with ham mmmmmmmm........
I doubt myself way too much. I am too hard on myself. I have excellent self control. This wont be a test. This will be easy. I cant wait for good foods!!!

Frustrated

I can't get in to see my Dr to get fill out until fucking Thursday. Argh....so it's putting up with reflux, nausea and heartburn until then.
Joy....