Friday, January 30, 2009

Current mood- "meh"

In a pretty shitty mood. My boss "forgot" to pay me. She put my pay into my account late so I won't get it until Monday morning. So no going out for me. Its been a week for it. Like being back at work. But I am very very over her. We don't get any support from her and she is very lazy. No idea how to approach it. I want to but its hard.
Yeah- me and alcohol don't mix. I had about a third of a glass of wine and I had to go to bed for an hour.
B- cup of tea
S- cashews, peanuts and dried banana
L- 4 ryvitas with salmon and lettuce
S- popcorn-D- sushi
Dessert- not usually one for dessert... I made dad get me a sundae from maccas since I had drunk.

Tomorrow it's 1hr cardio at the gym in the morning.
Might vent my frustration via or punching bag out the back or the treadmill. Hate feeling so angry. Stupid work, guys and pms. Stupid fluid. Elephant worthy....
Will feel better in the morning.... just gotta ride this out.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Happy Little Chappy

Ok I swear my band listens to my thoughts. Last night I was having a winge internally about how I was thinking my band was too loose. Cut to today and Im eating lunch and its stuck. First stuck issue in a long time!
Went to the gym this morning. Can you actually believe I woke up at 8.3o- ON MY DAY OFF- to go hit an hr cardio????? I'm so proud of myself. Saturday morning I shall do the same.
Food so far
After gym workout snack- yoghurt and a mouthful of cashews
L- 4 ryvitas (LOVING the taste guys!) with egg and lettuce
rest of the days food shall be
S- grapes
D- cheese and bacon risotto and steamed veggies

LOVING the healthy eating, LOVING the gym, LOVING my state of mind.

P.S- I've offically lost 29 kilos. I'm 94 right now. Aiming to get under 90 by my bandiversary in March....

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Hi Ho Hi Ho- its off to the gym I go!

Tomorrow- Thursday- G day.... Gym day!

I'm actually looking forward to it. Ipod is on charge as we speak and after this post I'm off to pick out gym clothes and pack my bag! Im planning a light workout to see how I pull up. Planning an hour (9 am-10 am) of cardio. I shall attempt weights at some stage in the following weeks. I need them. Toning is important.

Dad made a brilliant discovery at the supermarket. The above picture is of what I had for lunch today. The pack was a little bigger than palm size- filled with a tiny amount of pasta- loaded with veggies (that were so soft and easy to eat!) and some yummy moist tuna. Amazing. Perfect size, great great flavour. Highly recommended- super easy.
Water intake is great. Getting at least 1 L a day. Pushing to 1.5-2 in the next few days- especially with exercise starting up!

Shall report in with my workout tomorrow :0)

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

First day.... when is holidays again??

First day back... not too many screaming kiddies. Got loaded up with work though! My boss thinks Im "very capable" therefore I've been given double the amount of work from last year. Joy. So now I'll have double work and a course to do on top of that!
I said before and I'll say it again- I will not make work my number one priority. I am number one. I will NOT spend every weekend doing preschool work that I am unpaid for. I will NOT stay back from work everyday without pay to do extra work. I'm going to be selfish. And that's not a bad thing.
Food today
B- glass OJ
S- yoghurt and cashews
L- 4 ryvitas with egg and bean sprouts
S- grapes and cashews
D- pita pizza

Thoughts? I feel good about my food today. Its weird though. I really don't feel like I'm banded like I used to. I knew that when I went back to work I would feel different. I have to eat well at work so that really helps. Tomorrow I'm taking tuna and pasta with a boiled egg. Dinner I'm making risotto. Kepping up the water intake, and taking multivitamins. All good. Still thinking I'm eating too much... might cut back portions and see if I am still hungry.
Gym starts Thursday morning. Although if I feel up to it I might try the treadmill after work tomorrow. Not pushing myself too hard too soon. Especially right as Im back at work. At the moment I'm run off my feet. Today I had a little busy bee that decided to jump into the water trough, jump on top of the car (he was about to jump- I had to quickly grab him before he broke his neck), squashed himself into one of the toy cots...oh and did I mention I have him tomorrow too? Lol.Had a few compliments from people at work today. Apparently I look like I've lost more weight. I think its because I've started wearing tighter fitting clothing. Today I wore a black singlet top with a little red cardy thingy that covered my shoulders and tops of my arms. So thats the plan of attack. Tighter fitting clothing. Hehe...
All for now. I am really enjoying blogging at the moment! Such a great way for me to look over my day and see things I need to change, and praise myself for things that I have done well....

B.T.W- My clothes fit better these days even though the scales say no change. Fuck the scales....

Monday, January 26, 2009

Back to School

As of tomorrow Im back to being a busy bee. Back to work, back to gym, back to proper eating, back to remembering to take multis, back to studying and doing my course. I'm really looking foward to being back in the swing of things.
Di- that was an observation that I hadn't even noticed! Very true.....
I had a little bit of a meltdown last night. I was doing the usual girly things when I started freaking out over every little lump and bump on my body. I was certain that I was the ugliest person in the world and that "the guy" would see me and walk away. Body issues are big for me. Plus being off for 5 weeks I've had way too much time to think. This guy thing is extremely new for me. I've hidden away for 6 years. I guess its pretty normal.
Made honey, soy and garlic chicken tonight on a bed of rice and veggies. Usually I stay away from chicken breast because I'm too scared that it'll get stuck. Nope. No issues. Its very cool- I haven't pbed since my band was super tight and I had to get fill out- that was Decemeber 18th. I think stress is also a huge factor- I havent had too much stressing me out since I've been on holidays. Shall be interesting to see what happens when work starts up again! Anyway- the chicken has kept me really full. Going to make sure I stick to foods like that from now on- test my band a little. I get too scared and stick to easy things.
I'm very into messages at the moment. The day I got my nose pierced- driving home I saw two signs saying "Opportunity" and Pete Murrays song of the same name came on the radio (whilst I was drving past one actually which brought tears to my eyes!). Things like that put huge smiles on my face and really make me know Ive got angels looking out for me. Last night I dreamt about a lot of spiders. I woke up thinking that was a bad thing. Looked it up in my dream dictionary and it was actually the opposite. It says dreaming of spiders denotes "you will be careful and energetic in your labours, and fortune will be amassed to pleasing proportions". It also said dreaming of spiders in their webs around you "fortells most favourable conditions, fortune, good health and friends."
Anywho. Here's to tomorrow- to getting back into the swing of things- good eating and working out!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

This week's horoscope...

The astrologist in Sunday magazine- Jonathan Cainer- has always been spot on with my emotions for the week... I havent read my weekly horoscope in awhile... heres this weeks:

Anew you is emerging. The old you might've looked at your current situation and felt imtimidated by- or unhappy about- the potential downside of a proposition, but the new you doesn't care. The new you is willing to take the risk and is wise to do so. Get used to the improved state of mind; its here to stay, and is the upturn of your fortunes. And remember too, only the old you was old. The new you is young, Stop feeling so burdened and allow yourself some indulgence.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Mother Ducker!!!

Woke up early this morning to get nails infilled. That got cancelled.....
Walked outside at 8 a.m to 30 degree Celsius weather.... not pleasant...
Went shopping for clothes. Got some awesome buys- but I spent way more than I should and now am flat broke (more on money issues later)
Came home to find my goldfish (of two and a half years) Lenny had died. I cried. Yeah, I know, its a fish- but Dad gave him to me when I was 19. Very sad.
THEN.... I smashed my thumb into the door (shhh the lights were off!)- not only did it take off my acrylic nail but it took off layers of my own nail. Now that wouldnt have happened if my nail lady hadnt cancelled.... so I shall be informing her of that tomorrow and letting her know my displeasure in HAVING A GROSS NAIL!!
Kinda cool though that I now stand up for myself. Thats never ever something I used to do. I was little miss nice girl who everyone could walk all over... last weekend when I was in Sydney I had scrambled eggs for breakky and some bacon. We went to pay and I was charged $12 for the eggs.... um sorry, but im not going to take that! I made sure to ask for no toast, there was no way I would even attempt that... so I told her- " sorry, I didnt have toast, I just had eggs.... am i to pay 12 for eggs??" she apologised and charged me less. Yay for Bridgy!
So bad day for me.... although the ending has been pretty good... there is a guy...... I havent said anything before because its super early days (so stay tuned!).... we havent met.... been talking for a year on and off.... hes moving closer to me as of next week.... hadnt talked to him in a week so I figured he wasnt interested anymore.... we talked tonight.... hes super keen.... im super keen.... going to meet soon.... im freaking out..... the whole " am i skinny enough? am i pretty enough? will he like me" thing going through my head. Part of me knows thats stupid talk, the other part of me wants to run to the gym and spend 6 hours on there a day....
Band was being a cow today... not much food for me. I know lots of people say that they have issues in cold weather. I dont- seems mine is heat. So heartburn, no interest in food and stuck issues... ( didnt help dad made FISH for dinner)
All for now.... great ending to a shit day....

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Here and There

Hey Guys and Gals,

Band is being a bitch today. I had some Brie for a snack and it got stuck. I was like "WTF!!! BRIE!!! HELLO!!" Lol... (how teenie did I just sound??) I have heartburn now...
The .2mLs I got put in has made a difference for sure. I am not hungry in between meals and the portion sizes are perfect. Its taking me the appropriate time to eat also. So I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. I know want to concentrate on getting the proper nutrion in my daily food. I am back into the swing of things. Needed a break from being in "band mode" for awhile after the sister window thing. I can't remember if I've blogged this before or not?? So forgive me.... I kinda feel like I've been in limbo... waiting for something to happen but not sure what I am waiting for.
Went on the treadmill for 20 mins. Heat was getting to me a little too much. Plus I WAS RUNNING...hehehehe.... go me!
Bought some work clothes yesterday. I bought some that were a little too tight on purpose. This way I wont have to go out in a few weeks time and buy more. Lol.
Will start to post food diares as of next Tuesday....

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hello, its me...

Got .2mls put into my band yesterday. Was the least painful fill I've had. Very nice! I could feel the restriction immediately and it made me feel better. More in control. Portions are great now and I feel full.
I'm back at work next Tuesday... fun fun fun.... I am kind of looking forward to it- I can't wait to be back into the routine of work. I am someone who thrives off routine. So I can then make a plan to work out, eat better, get more tafe work done etc...
I have no inspiration for this post so its short and sweet. Tomorrow I'm aiming to get to the gym. I want to go in the morning but it depends on if I stay up to watch the Obama business at 3 a.m. Lol..

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Its back to business....

Went away this weekend. I've come back a little worse for wear- my neck and shoulders are killing me from bad pillows and too much shopping. How sad. Lol.
I made a huge realisation this weekend. Something clicked.
I was walking around the city looking at everyone. First though was "wow! everyone has cute shoes." then I realised I still felt like fat Bridget. And that I have been comfortable the last few months with my weight. But now I am not. I am ready to get back into properly working to get the last (hardest) 20 kilos off.
I went to Dymocks and had a look around. Something lead me to the health section, then to what I call the "self help shit" section. When I got to the health section I laughed... the rows and rows of books that claim to be the best diet for weight loss. And I went over in my head all the books I had at home sitting, collecting dust claiming the same thing. I realised- its not diet girl. Its your head. get your head right, everything else will follow."

So over I went to have a look at the "head books". I picked up two that really spoke to me. Both written by Louise L. Hay. First is called "Love yourself, heal your life workbook" Which I plan to actually write in. And the second is "Meditations to heal your life". That one is brilliant. The passage on "body" really got me. I've re read it several times... it says:
"My body is a good friend that I take loving care of"
I love my body.
My body is perfect for me at this time. My body weight is also perfect. I am exactly where I choose to be. I am beautiful, and every day I become more attractive. This concept used to be very hard for me to accept, yet things are changing and now that I am treating myself as if I were someone who was deeply loved. I'm learning to reward myself with healthy little treats and pleasures now and again. Little acts of love nuture me, doing things that I really like, such as quiet time, a walk in nature, a hot soothing bath, or anything that really gives me pleasure. I enjoy caring for myself and to be my own best friend. I know my body is filled with star light and that I sparkle and glow everywhere I go.
Part that got me: "My body is perfect for me at this time. I am exactly where I choose to be."
IT IS SO TRUE. Just think about it in your own situation.......
I've had a very hard few months. I think I needed time away from the focus of weight loss to really reflect. I have done such an amazing job (YES! I am praising myself for my brilliant work) and am such a different person that I needed this time to reflect. I acknowledge and accept that I needed that time. And now I am ready for the next step.
I haven't been under 90 since I was 16. I am the weight I am at the moment to learn lessons. I have learnt them. My body and mind are now in line and are ready to take me to the next step.
I do not fear this next step like I have for the last few months. I feel excited and empowered. I wonder what opportunites will arise from this?!?!
Brilliant realisation. I am motivated. I am looking forward to the gym. I am pumped for this.
Fill tomorrow- wonder if I get can .1? Only need a teeny bit to curb the portions. I am in what I call the "neutral stage". Where I am not hungry, but not full.
Bring it on!!!!!!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

Note to self: Dont look at bank balance on Monday...

Me and my good friend Nicole are going away this weekend. Going to Sydney for a nice relaxing weekend filled with gold class cinema, high tea, shopping, casino and a visit to the aquarium.
Glad to be going- a nice a little break away from boringness.
I'll be back on Sunday arvo and will post some pics!
In the meantime, go check out . They are doing great work for the emotional side of being banded. I'm really excited to see this up and running. Go fill out a survery for a free 30 min coaching session and sign up to their newsletters- they are filled with great info!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


I've had a few people email me and tell me that reading my blog has motivated them to take the next step and get the lap band. That really blows my mind. To know that me, sitting on my bed, putting a little bit of my heart and mind out there in cyber space, has helped in some small way to change someone's no words.... all I can say is thankyou. Thankyou for being a part of my journey. As rocky as it has been. I've gotten a lot of people msg me and tell me that they are reading- so Im learning that just because there aren't that many comments, my world is still a part of yours.

I'm struggling at the moment to be honest with you. Such a wave of highs and lows. I am hoping that when I return to work in two weeks my daily routine will kick me into gear. That I will be so busy that I have less time to think about stupid things that are playing on my mind and getting me down. I will definately be eating better as I am little miss organised and will have a food plan set out for everyday. And I can work out an exercise routine that will allow me to get to the gym a possible 4 days a week.
Next Monday I am going for another fill. That hungry bug still gets me. And portion sizes are much larger than I would like. I only want another .2mLs chucked in Barbie. I don't want to be tight to a point where I am eating a few mouthfuls and I'm done. However I don't want to be loose and eating then being hungry 2 hours later. Just like any other bandster of course. Trying to get to that sweet spot!
I am going away this weekend with a friend. We are hittinf Sydney for gold class cinemas, casino, high tea and shopping. Looking forward to it. Nice and relaxing I am hoping. I'll make sure to take several hundred photos and then chose the best ones of me and put them up. Hehe.
Ok, so I have put my little toe into the world of dating. Two dates so far. Both flops. But still, I am proud that I did it. This though, is a big issue for me. Body confidence. I still feel like that fat Bridget. I am certain that no guy out there would ever and will ever find my body somewhat attractive. Hence why I tried internet dating. I figured- they gotta get to know my personality and coolness before they meet me, instead of judging me by my apperance. Am I totally warped? I also have no idea how to act around guys. I've avoided them at all costs for the last few years. Even eye contact is hard for me at times. Something I gotta work on. I am SO over being single. I am SO over saying that I am over being single and not really doing anything about it. I am SO over people saying to me "Bridget, you are better off without them, seriously, they do more harm than good". Sorry- but sleeping alone is killing me. All I really want is someone to lay with and keep me company. So don't use that line on me. So I think that now I have my job situation all wrapped up in a nice little bow, I am working on my weight loss, my sister is outta the picture (trying to ignore all information about her as I need a break from that)- I can concentrate on being more confident and attracting super cool people.
Ok.... enough with the "emo" (trying to keep young and hip- I heard that the kids are using that word these days) mood.
Food today
B- toast with vegemite and cheese
L- chicken caesar wrap
S- cashews
D- Nil so far... not feeling hungry. Prob will eat later

Monday, January 12, 2009

Oh so tired

Fill booked in for next Monday. My portion sizes are too big. Need the teeniest bit so I can work that out. Then I think I'll be ok for a little bit.

Bigger post coming your way tomorrow

Sunday, January 11, 2009


I get the motivation back and I start to work my arse off.... then.... some family shit will happen and I'll switch off all emotions.
The fruitcake sister is getting married next month and Im not invited. Would I go anyway? Ah no... not after what she did to me that Saturday night. (I'll never get an apology)
Todays food:
L- ham, cheese and sweet chilli toasted sandwich (had issues... first time I have in ages)
S- cashews
D- fish and veggies

I've noticed that the more Pepsi Max I drink- the more I want to eat. So I'm laying off. I had it yesterday and noticed the difference. Still drinking my water :0)
No exercise yesterday or today

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Slip up Saturday

No exercise today... oops... and food today consisted of waaaaaaaaaaay too much yum cha yummyness. Hence no dinner. Eeck. Drinking the last drop of my riccadonna supply. No one can be perfect all the time....
Back into it tomorrow. Salads and treadmill..... yay!!
Tattoo being done this week hopefully (thanks to my awesome friend connections!). I want to get "clarity" on my foot. "Don't think- just do" ....... so im using my own advice (for once!!!) and doing it. Waited 4 long years. Just do it already!!!

P.s: this men thing is a mother fucker. Why is it so hard??????

Friday, January 9, 2009

Fri Fri Friday!!

I'm pretty impressed with myself. I'm now down to 94.1... I'm back into the game and ready to kick some major arse!
Todays food:
Breakfast... got up late again... oops holidays...
Snack- 5 jatz (no food in house... was waiting for father to arrive home with shopping!! lol)
Lunch- Chicken and salad (I was scared of both things a few months ago... leaving me to pb them. Doesnt seem to be the case my band is looser)
Snack- cashews
Dinner- fish and veggies
Snack- if hungry later I will have some fruit.

Tonight I will be hitting the treadmill for 30-45 mins and then doing a pilates dvd that is hitting me hard. I can definately feel it afterwards! Waking up tomorrow morning will be a bitch. Tummy muscles will loooooooove me!!
I have set myself goals for the year. They of course, are subject to change. I would love love love to be under 90 by Feb 19th when I go to Melbourne for a few days. But to do that, I would have to lose 4 kilos in 6 weeks. I could possibly do that. I am going to give it my best shot. Im exercising, eating well, drinking plenty of water...

Enjoy your weekend!! I'll be here, posting food blogs!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Insert Witty Title Here...

Got a headache. My own fault. Havent drunk any water today. I've been good and drunk it all week. Yes body, lesson learned. I will spend tonight drinking water. Lol.
Went on a "hang out" today with a guy. He is super cute- I got the impression he might not have felt the same way as I did. So after an hr or so I bailed. I don't think that's going anywhere. But I am proud of myself for stepping outta my box for the 2nd time this week!! Go me!
No exercise yesterday because I was in pain from the pilates the day before!! Lol. Tonight I'm planning to walk to clear my head (its all foggy for some reason) and then a 10 minute core workout dvd that I love.
Food today:
nothing until lunchtime... was a little preoccupied
L- 1/2 salmon, lettuce and cheese sandwich on Burgen S&L bread
S- handful cashews
D- ham and spinich mac and cheese

Yes- not enough veggies. Tonight if I get hungry I'll have a fruit salad for dessert. And make sure I drink at least a litre of water tonight. And get on the treadmill!!
I havent done much tafe work this holidays. I really really should have. Ive had no motivation whatsoever. So Im pinning myself to my desk tomorrow and knocking over the "workplace hygiene module" then on to finish my "nutrition"module. Least if I get those iccky ones over with I'll feel a little better. No more internet!!! More study!! Lol.
Think I might have had a little bit of confidence knocked outta me today with the guy thing today. I dunno. Its all new and weird to me....

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Food Diary

Seems that everyone's blogs are quiet.....
I'm posting an online food diary everyday... input needed....

Breakfast- baked beans (thought after fill I wouldnt want breakkie anymore. Not the case.)
Lunch- 2 pieces of Burgen Soy and Linsead toast (wtf, breakfast AND bread!!??!!) with vegemite, low fat cottage cheese and tomato.
Dinner- omlette with bacon, cheese, mushroom and chives.
Snack- having dinner early, so if I need a snack I'll have handful of nuts.

So food is weird at the moment. I'm able to eat bread. It fills me up for hours!! So I'm going down the bread road instead of cruskits. This way I won't need an afternoon snack because i'll still be full. Sticking to food thats fill me up for longer, therefore less calories. (I might start tomorrow when I go get some more veggies, with salads at lunch. See how they go at filling me up)
Yesterday I did 30 mins on the treadmil, then pilates. Feeling sore this morning from the pilates. I've been doing stuff for my support group I run today. Going to get a 30 min walk in at some stage.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

The Power of Food

For us to have become overweight, food has to have had a control of us. It entices us in with the smell, the taste, the visual, the texture. It's an addiction. You constantly think and plan your next meal, the ingredients, how much you are going to eat etc.
When you get banded, you get the ability to take your power back. You don't feel that need to HAVE to stop and buy a little something on the way home from work. Taking your power back is one of the most amazing feelings- you have the CONTROL. And when said control is taken away from you, it freaks you out. You feel like you are back at square one. That all this hard work and effort is going to slip through your hands. The food has the power, and you begin to fall into old habits. The smell gets to you, the taste is remembered, and you fantise over your little vice that you ended up in surgery for. You get scared- you worry that you are going to end up all old you, that all the weight will pile back on and you will mentally go back to that old sad person who you vowed to never be after your surgery.
When your power and control is returned to you, you are at ease. You can once again resume your new daily life post surgery. And food once again doesn't have that addictive appeal. Food is food. McDonalds drive thrus don't tempt anymore.
For someone thats not banded, its hard to see this side. But after the surgery, a lot of light bulbs go off- and this is the one big one.
I asked my special newly banded friend Lanni about this.... she blogged about it as we spoke.... check it out.


Ok, so I got my fill yesterday- .2mls in. Feeling a lot better. Back on the saddle so to speak. Was planning a gym session this morning- however I was up until 4 am because my nose was killing me. Its not looking so great right now so im going to have to monitor it.
Will post a food diary today, and get on the treadmill at home for at least 45 mins!

What are your thoughts on control???

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Tomorrow it starts again...

I was really surprised when fluidy bridget hopped on the scales this morning ready to see close to 100. I was actually 95. So that was good. Remembering I recently got new scales so I would be 93 on them. So I'm happy about that considering how out of control I have felt.
Decided this arvo that I need to start implementing some of these New Years Resolutions I have in place. "Stepping outta my box"was on the list. And I'm doing that tomorrow- im getting my nose pierced. I havent thought it through. Which is a good thing. Because I think too much. I've thought myself into this box. So I'm unthinking myself out of it. Get me?
Tomorrow is a good day for something else- a fill!!! Very excited. I'm going to ask for .2 or .3 mLs in. I have felt shitty for a week or so now without fill. I'm glad I'm getting some back in so I can feel a little more in control of my food.'
Didnt walk today but walked Saturday. It felt amazing. Back into it. With a simple little thing like taking 30 mins out of my day- I've gotten some of that lost confidence back. Feeling a lot better now, more positive!
It's going to be a good week.... I can feel it in my waters!!!

Friday, January 2, 2009


Gym in the morning. I'm on friggen holidays, doing jack shit. What should I be doing??? GOING TO THE GYM! If I start now, it'll make it easier when I go back to work it stay in the routine. Next year I'm working 4 days a week, so I'll have to go after work. I gotta build my energy up so that I can do it after an exhausting day.
Back to food diaries daily. Pre planned food also. Gotta get on top of this.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Coming To Terms,

I probably sounded so positive in my last post. (If anyone out there is still reading- hello?) But in all honesty, a few hours after I wrote it I was a mess. And I have been a mess ever since.
So much shit is going on. I'm still dealing with the sister issue- I've been trying to pretend I am ok when I am not. My mum is not coping and im getting to be the emotional punching bag for her. I am shit bored at hom. I've gone from being busy busy busy with everything to a complete standstill. I am also hating my body. I hate that I have no restriction- that I can eat anything I want. I have no fucking control. I live on control. If I don't feel in control of things I hate it.
I feel like I am back where I was a year ago. I hate this. I feel like a big, fat ogre. I feel like Bridget, pre banding weight. Its totally mentally. I don't look any different whatsoever. I've only put a kilo or two on. I am really really really looking forward to Monday. Bring on the fill! Control will be mine.
The always amazing Jen gave me something brilliant to think about the other night. And I am really running with it. The theory is, that you have a lesson to learn if you are stuck on a certain weight. And that really did hit me. The lightbulb went on. I haven't been past 91-92 since I was 16. I don't know a life past that number. So yes, there might be a little hesitation for me to be under that.
Plan of attack- im surrendering for the next few days. As of Monday though- its drinking 2 Ltrs of water each day, going to the gym and eating proper meals.