Monday, October 26, 2009

Nope, nothing

Hey guys,
So took a little time away. Trying to decompress from the last few weeks events. Plus banding wise nothing has been going on. The fill I got has done nothing, so next Monday I am getting a teeny little more to see if that helps. So I'm eating fairly normally and not losing weight. It is very frustrating. Looks to me as if this last 10-15 kilos are going to take an awful lot to budge.... so I need you guys, my cyber buddies, to give me any support or information you can think of to help shift this god awful last bit of weight!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Walking Tall Against the Rain

I got my fill yesterday afternoon. Easy fill- no pain, he remeasured it and point roughly .2-.3 mls additional into my band. Seems this one might take a few days to kick in, as I don't feel too much restriction yet, and woke up wanting to eat my bed. (Not literally friends, just using that to show you how hungry I was... don't panic, I havent lost too much of my mind as of yet).
Still keeping up with my 30 min walks everyday. Enjoying that greatly. I need to take it up a step, so will do that in the next few days.
Today is the day I've been dreading all week. My uncle Nickys funeral. They are having a viewing beforehand, something I am not comfortable with, and will not attend. I will have put my tough hat on today and not get upset. Yes, its a funeral, we have to feel our emotions... however I simply cannot whilst my dad is around. He hasnt cried yet. He started to when he told me Nick had passed, but I lost myself and bawled like a baby and he stopped to protect and look after me. He has been asking me all week if I am ok. ME! What about him! Poor thing. So today I have to let it be his day to deal, and feel, and say goodbye. I can do that privately when I get home.
Please remember to let the people in your lives know how important they are. Please do something special for yourself once and awhile. And please dont put off things you want to do in your life. You never know when this amazing gift called life will end, and the last thing you want is to regret it.....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Goal Scoring

I've smashed it with my food the past few days. Ive had yummy garden salads with avocado, egg and salmon included. I've watched my carbs (they are my vice) and no chocolate has passed these beautiful lips (losing weight has made me vain) since I vowed I would go a week without it. OF COURSE.... a fundraiser box of chocolates has landed at work..... I havent touched a single one. And I won't. I love the satisfaction of me following through on a goal far too much to ruin it.
I am taking tomorrow off work. The funeral is Thursday, but I need a day to recover. I'm close to burn out. I have relatives staying with me (a house full of snorers) and I'm running on no sleep, work is being a bitch and I'm trying to deal with my grief and maintain my exercise and healthy eating. So tomorrow I am getting a nice sleep in then I'll see where the day takes me. Most likely seeing relatives... but the day off from work is welcomed anyway.
Tomorrow afternoon I am going back to get the fill I was meant to have yesterday afternoon. I am planning on speaking up and telling my fill dr I am completely dissatisfied with the reception staff not contacting me about the cancellation.
Thats all for now. Im wiped and in need of a nana nap before the house load of people arrive back wanting dinner!

Monday, October 12, 2009


Several things happened this afternoon to make me feel foul.
Howver one of the major ones is me driving half and hour out of my way to go get a fill- only to have the surgeons receptionist tell me she had forgotten to tell me the appointment had been cancelled. She figured because I had been a few times recently I wouldn't need it. And by the 1.5 kilo gain I've had over the last 2 and a half weeks- why would I!!??!!
So I have to do it all over again on Wednesday afternoon.....
Not. Happy.....

Sunday, October 11, 2009

This Week's Goals...

Had a rough few days with my uncle passing away and finding out something that crushed me.
Each day its getting easier. And hurting less. Just reflecting and moving forward.
I've found that exercising is helping me. Its a great outlet for me. I'm finding that I can't miss a day without feeling a tinge of regret for not hitting the treadmill. I love that. So I am using that to my advantage this week, and making it a goal to work out 5 times this week for a minimum of 30 mins each session.
I'm getting a fill tomorrow. A very small one, like my surgeon recommended. I've admittedly eaten like shit since I've had fill out. Its chocolate. I'm addicted. Please help! Lol. My other goal this week is NOT to eat ANY chocolate whatsoever this week. You need to hold me to it cyber buddies... I shall report in to let you know how I go.
I've decided I'm definately going to Europe in two years. I'm going to spend the next two years saving as much as possible. Quit my job and go and see the world. I'd love to move to England for awhile. Thats where my family lives and I love the culture.... things that have happened to me in the last 6 months have made me reflect... I need to do things for me, no use in saying I'm going to do things. I have to actually do them....

Friday, October 9, 2009

Rest In Peace..

My uncle passed away yesterday.....
We are all still in shock. No one got to say their goodbyes...
Its so hard to see my father trying to be brave for everyone else.
I just want him to break, so we can be the ones looking after him....

I took today off work to take Dad to see his family. I have so much to do in the next few days. I have to put my hard hat on and just push through.

That number on the scales means nothing now. Who cares. When we die will that be all that matters? No. I'm moving on. Life is meant to be lived. Lived away from weight and size. And thats what I plan to do.

I am going to live

Rest In Peace dear uncle....

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Little Break

Needed a little break from the blogging. Nothing much banding wise has been going on either. I can eat anything and everything- just smaller portions than pre-band. After almost two weeks I am now starting to get really hungry in between meals so I am looking forward to next Monday- getting .2mls in.

Today I was doing some cleaning (awesome way to spend the long weekend!) and found an old pair of pants that are a size 24.... I put them on for a laugh.... I realised I was able to do something that I've ALWAYS wanted to do but havent been able to.... I put my whole body into one leg....

Working out at least every second day..... loving it!