All I did was blink

I can't believe it! I hop in scales this morning and its 101.1!!! Soooo close! Why couldn't my body have been nice and given me that 100 grams? So 100 grams until I've lost 20 kilos and 1.2 kilos until I'm 99.9!! I can make it by my birthday! Sweeet!
Home from a really great game of netball. Was lots of running. So I can definately say that I am going to have that 100 grams off by the morning. I also did pilates. I felt so great after both. So back into the swing of the exercise me thinks. Still haven't decided if I will join that gym or not. I honestly don't know if I can keep that commitment. At least I'm being honest. Might leave it a little while.
I am feeling good. I am feeling super good. It's hard to blog when everything is positive. Lol.
Something else I'm slowly learning..........
I winge sometimes about no boyfriend. I know the reason its not happening now. It's totally me. It's the way I look away when guys look at me, its the way I hold myself, they can tell the lack of self confidence I have when it comes to guys. I am sure of it. But slowly, its changing. It'll happen. Just need to be able to smile at the reflection in the mirror of myself before I can smile at a guy whos smiling at me.

skinny "smiling" biddy :0)

P.s: Mum bought home 2 dozen doughnuts she got for free......nightmare...

Seen my weight loss ticker recently??

Yeap.... 800 grams until I've lost 20 kilos!! Which means I have 1.9 kilos until I'm under 99.9!!! I can totally do this by my birthday! Yes, probably won't lose the 1.9 kilos this week like I wanted for my goal. But that's ok. I never really expected it anyway. Lol it was a long shot!
Tonight I had a small bandster meetup. It is always good to get together with people who understand your daily life and daily struggles and just talk. I did take something away from that meet-up. I've decided that its ok to plan for future weight loss. Lemme explain...
I've tried for ever like most bandsters have to lose weight. But I never really set any goals because I was scared that by setting goals I was setting myself up to fail when I didn't reach them. I know people sometimes buy clothes for "when they lose weight". I never did that for the previously stated reason. I was talking to two women who have done this. And I've decided I am going to do it. If I see something I love, I'm going to get it in the next size down. I think it will be a great motivation for me.
Well I definately have restriction!!! Today I've had:
3/4 packet of rice wheels
Easy Mac
Skim Hot Chocolate
1/3 portion of spag bol (I had trouble getting this down. I ended up with the hiccups. Something I know other bandsters get. I've never had them before so it was interesting. I had a sip of Sprite and it settled them down!)
Ice cream (yeah i know, im a freak. its fucken cold as and im eating ice cream!)

Its definately a lot less than I've been eating portion wise. I'm not getting hungry at all. I really need to SLOW DOWN. To prevent "stucks" and pbs.

Very tired tonight. Can't wait for a sleep in tomorrow! Then its starting a new module for tafe and netball. Having dinner out tomorrow night. Not sure what I am going to have. Going to stick to mushies for another two days or so.

-skinny "800 grams to go- i can do it!" biddy :0)

After my fill today

I don't feel any different.
I am going to call my fill Dr tomorrow because I am a little confused. I seem to have lost some fill. I got .6mls put in and now according to the records I have 5.3 mls in. So theres some fill gone missing!!
Since the fill late this afternoon, I have had:
* 400 mls of chicken and sweet corn soup (i HATE soup- but this one I LOVED!!)
* chocolate
* twisties

Yeap. Chocolate and twisties and I've had a fill this afternoon. This is how I can tell I haven't got that "newly filled" feeling.
I am really struggling mentally with all this. I have been looking forward to having this fill for two weeks. Grrr...

Adding to my weekly goals:

• NO TWISTIES OR CHOCOLATE

Will let you know what happends when I talk to Dr Fill
Thanks Myf for you wonderful comments, not only on my new photos up on my photo gallery, but for the wonderful things you said in your most recent post. Hugs!

-skinny "frustrated" biddy :0)

Weekly Goals

Howdy partners!
Ok, every Sunday from now on I will be making weekly goals. Sami is doing it too (go check out her blog) so its great that we can motivate each other.
This weeks goals are:

• Drink more water- at least 1.5 Litres. I did this last week but by the end of the week I wasn't doing it.
• Aim to get under 100. I have 2.6 kilos to go and a big fill tomorrow so hoping that will help me get there.
• Exercise at least 4 times. I only did it twice last week so going to make a better effort. Hoping the pilates dvd I ordered a week ago comes in next few days. I adore pilates and it seems to motivate me to work out further as I end up feeling so great about myself.

It's going to be a busy week I think. I have to make invites for my 21st (having a medium come to my place to have a group reading with a few close friends. I have to finish assignment for tafe and start new unit. Send off a few letters to people (shout out teegs!), organising transfering my super accounts, start programming for preschool and organise tax stuff. Yukky!!
Enjoy your week. Will post tomorrow after my fill. Having it after work at 4.30. I've never had one so late-so I'll probably miss din din. SO SO SO SO SO excited to have it. Bring it on!!

-skinny "soon to be filled- yay restriction!" biddy :0)

Shock!

See my photo gallery! Holy Moly!
Tonight I was feeling different. I don't know how else to describe it. I randomly wanted to try on some clothes that I've had for awhile. In particular the top that I wore to the hospital the morning of my surgery. I was in total shock. It looked amazing! (If I do say so myself!) So I got mum (her mouth was open in shock) to take a photo. She looked at it, looked at me, and said "now you are going to like this one". Usually I end up taking 4 or 5 photos before I find one that I think is half decent to put on blog. I grabbed the camera and looked. "Wow" was all I could say. I couldn't and still can't- believe it is me! I got so emotional, it hit me hard. I couldn't stop crying! Then Mum started crying- which wasn't good because she was all made up for a party! Lol. But it just really hit me. I don't think until tonight I have fully felt the impact of what has happened to me over the last 4 month physically. Yes, mentally I have changed, but I was sort of saying "yeah I've lost 18.5 kilos" proud, but not aware. I now am totally aware!!!
This has definately made me more motivated. I can TOTALLY get to my goal of under 100 for my birthday. And definately can get to the goal of under 85 for Christmas!
I want to say a big thankyou to everyone who has supported my on my journey so far. Big big thanks and hugs especially to Kristie, Sami (go read her blog!) and Myf. Without you three I'd be lost.
Tomorrow I will write up my weekly goals. I am a little unsure as to what they will be. Might have a goal of getting under 100 by next Sunday- not impossible as Bridgys getting a big fill monday!!!
I've got a huge smile on my face, and a huge smile in my heart. This weight loss thing is actually achievable. I CAN DO IT. I CAN GET TO MY GOAL.

-definately skinny biddy!!

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere!!!

Its been a pretty excellent day on the self esteem side!
I went to see my wonderful dietician today and she though I looked incredible. Pretty stoked! I weighed in and not only didn't I gain with the two weeks of no restriction- but I lost 500 grams. I am pretty happy with that! I did previously state that was my goal! So yay!
I also returned home to a few emails from people telling me how amazingly I had done, I was inspiring and pretty! Nice nice nice!
I also measured my waist (only measurement I really take notice of) and I've lost 18 cms off that! Whoa! I am back to the same size waist as I was when I was taking the horrid duromine. Yet I am 10 kilos heavier. Weird!
I'm waiting for my pilated dvd to arrive in the mail. I started it up a few years ago and it really helped me shift the cms moreso than kilos but I felt great doing it.
I'm having my next fill along with my dad fter work on Monday. I am planning on having a big one since I've lost a lot of restriction. Myself and my dietician think that after this fill I will definately be under 100. Here's hoping.
So far with goals....
* drank my 1.5 litres each day, yesterday a little under. Today (yes at 11 pm) i am still going, trying to get there! lol
* only worked out twice this week, will walk tomorrow and sunday
*didnt weigh myself until today liked promised- this was a good thing for me- i started to become obsessed with the number.

All for now. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I plan on walking, doing tafe work, and reading banding blogs!

-skinny "flattered" biddy :0)

Recap

No more work for the week, phew! It's been a busy week, we had the validator come in on Monday and boy he was a hard arse! Seems we might have to re-do the whole accreditation process as he has failed us in several areas. Now me and the staff as childcare workers do an excellent job, no issue with that. The guy who validated us was more interested in the policies rather than the practises. And due to a wrong word here and there we are in shit. Grrr. Not again! Couldn't handle 11 hr days again!
Goal wise, I am doing really well. Our scales broke so I definately can't weigh myself until Friday. I'm drinking at least 1.5 Litres of water each day. I haven't worked out since Sunday, so I've gotta work out at least 3 more times. I have not stopped at work though, I'm running around after 14 2 yr olds!
Food wise I have been watching what I'm eating, more so portion sizes. Trying to watch carbs also. In saying that, I did have pizza last night. It's not something that I will be doing again for a long time. Ok when you are eating it, but I felt so uncomfortable when I woke up this morning and was really bloated.
I got my first tafe assignment back today. I was given 69/100. I am a little disappointed in the results. I did hate the unit but I put effort into it. Apparently you were meant to use your own paper. NO WHERE did it state this. I think I might email them to clarify. Because of this, I lost marks on pretty much every question because I wasn't able to elaborate much on answers. Comments though were good, apparently I have excellent professionalism and it was well done. Hmmm... confusing!
Looked at my hit counter, over 5000 hits! Thats incredible. I am so overwhelmed! Thanks guys for reading. Remember, all comments are welcome!

Stay classy cyber dudes
-skinny "4 days off woo!" biddy :0)