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Sunday, July 26, 2009

Healing

I feel better today. Kind of in my old self. Its extremely hard to explain. I feel like the last week was a bad dream- and I'm on the other side of it. Mostly.
I learnt a lot during this experience, and slowly I am learning what these things are. One of the things that I am greatful for is the fact that the boy helped me forgive my sister. He got me to see things from a different perspective and I was able to move forward. She is coming home tomorrow for two weeks, so I am very glad things have mostly been resolved.
He isn't doing too well. He seems incredibly low. Thinks he's worthless and not worth any of my time. Hes going into a major depression. And it seems he broke up with me to save me from the pain of him losing himself. I'd be dragged down with him. He knows that and has done the right thing by me by letting me go so I don't go through that. I miss him. I love him. But I can't save him.
I have lost weight as a result of this. (Think of the positives right? Haha) I have offically lost 37.3 kilos. Wow. Almost 40 kilos. And I thought 30 was amazing. I am very proud of myself. The stress of the last week has made the number on the scales go down- and I don't in any way suggest that that is healthy. Lets get that straight.

This week is about me. Its about healing me. And I plan to do what I need to do to make myself realise I am important. I am special. And that no man- no matter how much I loved him- will break me.

2 comments:

Melanie said...

Wow that's an amazing post - you seem so different in the way you express things to a year ago - I guess a hell of lot has happened. Almost 40 kg down - what an achievement. Good call on stressy weight loss not being good but hey, there's gotta be some good from all this!!!
M

mjwdec73 said...

Ridiculously, absurdly proud of you.