3 days in......

I had another late one, got to bed at 6.30 a.m. I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. All I could think about is food. My stomach was rumbling so loud i'm sure that the side of the world could hear it. I'm surprised I didn't wake up the family!
I know I shouldn't be weighing myself every morning but I can't help it. It's such a help to see the scales shifting. If I was doing this and not seeing results I wouldn't be a happy chappy. So today I checked again and I've lost 6.6 kilos!!! wow!!! I've had a few people tell me that they've seen a difference which is good. I won't be weighing myself so much when I'm banded because I won't get results like that so its just daily whilst on Opti-fast.
12 days to go before surgery. Planning to go shopping next weekend to get a few things. Going to get a nice big pillow, a comfy nightie, all the important liquids i need in the first few weeks and some books/dvds to keep me entertained at home. Hurry up time, move a little quicker!!!
At least Dad's home the next 4 days to cook yumminess for me!!
Does anyone know if you are allowed to have acrylic nails on when you have surgery? I know you can't have painted ones. I've had acrylic since december. I've loved having them. Although when I went back to have the french done she used gel and they chipped really bad. I went to get them done Wednesday and she didn't turn up, shes on holidays. Rebooked for Monday, got a call today, she'll still be away so re booked the re book for Wednesday. I do get a free buff and polish though. You get that when you get your nails done anyway!!!! I think I should get the set done again for free as the gel chipped as soon as I got them!
Wow, a whole paragraph on getting my nails done. I must be bored!!!!!
Have a super weekend!
-bridget :0)

5.1 is a pretty good payoff

Day Two of Opti-Omg. Feeling better than yesterday. I actually woke u after dreaming all night of food. Very interesting. Strangely I was interested in trying a lemon sorbet opti-slim. So made one up with very cold water and ice cubes and it wasnt bad! I was very pleased.
I did measurements today as well, want to keep record of those. And I also checked my weight. Well I got a huge shock!!! Start of Day Two and I'm 5.1 kilos lighter!!! Wow!! All that worry about not losing weight really seems stupid now!
So last night I did cave in and had two pieces of toast. I didn't regret it at all. I was very hungry and feeling sick. So felt better afterwards.
Today ive noticed im ok until around 4 pm. Then I get hungry and a bit feisty. Mum coped it tonight. She cooked me some veggies in a stock and when she couldnt find stock and wanted help locating it I went balistic! She knew I was going to have moments like that so she knew to back away.
Thanks Jen for the comment. My dietician allows unlimited veggies from the list so thats awesome. But I don't think I've been eating enough. I really did look forward to veggies tonight. Shock horror!
I know I sound like a whiny little brat. Gimme a few more days to calm down. lol.
At least now I'm able to sleep. No more 4 a.mers for me. 11.05 and im ready for bed!!
-bridget :0)

Opti-Yuk/Opti-Sludge/Opti-I Wanna Die!!

So this isn't fun......
I hate the shakes. hate hate hate them. so thought i could have the bars instead. but i hate hate hate them too. im in a shitty mood and mum seems to be taking the brunt of it. I've only had 4 hundred and something calories today and im hungry. I'm really close to having a piece of toast. But then I will feel guilty. Because if I don't lose at least 4 kilos in the next 2 weeks I might not be able to have the surgery according to my dietician.
Maybe I'll have the toast and do a lot of exercise to compensate.....
TRUE: Opti-fast is no fun
TRUE: Can't wait until March 12th. Then I won't feel so fucking hungry.
-bridget :0)

Big Bridget Be Gone!!!

Another late night. 1.48 a.m. So I'm officially on Opti-fast. I had a little melt down tonight. Everything seemed to hit me. I've been on such a high since the surgeon consultation and have been in a little shock at such a quick surgery date. I don't think I was able to process everything until I woke up today (Tuesday). I also DESPISE the opti-fast. I cannot stand anything that tastes remotely like milk so I was freaking out today about having 42 of those mother fuckers. So I emailed my dietician @ 10 pm and she was so amazing and replied 50 mins later!! She said that I could have the bars instead three times a day. I'm going to have to be super strict and only have one piece of fruit a day as well as no extras. I'm definately going to stick to that. I feel a lot better since that issue was sorted out.
I was very teary tonight also. I think tonight I realised that there are some negatives that come along with this decision. The pb's, eating out issues, relationship issues, blockages etc. I'm also very scared about the new life that's on the other end of the surgery. What will this new Bridget be like? I've never known a skinny version of myself. What will she look like? How will she react when the safety blanket of all the weight is taken away?
So its 2.03 am Wednesday morning. It's day 1 of opti-fast, 14 days before my new life.
bye bye Big Bridget, hello Skinny Biddy
-bridget :0)

Starting to sink in.....

Its Monday night, well technically Tuesday morning. As usual can't sleep. I think I'll be able to get to bed earlier tonight though. It seems now that I feel like it is actually happening that I'm a little more settled. Plus, there had to be a point when I got physically exhausted from no sleep for past few weeks.
So got up early Monday morning (7 is early for me) feeling really really sick. Went to get blood tests and ecg. The place was packed, people were wainting out the door! So we went somewhere else. She really hurt taking my blood!! I am a wuss though. She tried to do the ecg three times. Granted the first two times I was very nervous (i've never had to have my boobs out in front of someone like that before and im a prude). I think the whole idea that if these tests aren't ok then I can't have my surgery. But by putting all that expectation on myself then im stuffing up the tests. lol. you cant win. So hoping no call from doctor.
Also went to the dietician. Got a great booklet as well as "the pocket gastric band guide" by Trudy Williams. If you are thinking about having this surgery, on the path to or have had it then this book is a must have. A bible. I believe that before deciding if this surgery is something you want to have you need to be armed with the best information out there. The pro's and the cons. I'm going into this knowing that not everyday is going to be a breeze. That some days I will wsnt to rip my band out. Some days I will be frustrated. But all the time I will be greatful for whatever weight I lose.
Tuesday- Last day of food before opti-fast. I am really excited to start it because it means I'm another step closer. But I'm not too sure about the taste. lol. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
Should try and get some sleep. Dad's just gotten home though so might ask him for some advice on how to cook veggies so they actually taste half decent!!!
-bridget :0)

http://www.foodtalk.com.au/ link to Trudy Williams books

Monday Madness

Tomorrow morning off for blood tests and ecg. Had a lot of blood tests before and an ecg so i shouldn't be anxious but I am. As you've probably noticed by now I tend to worry and blow things up. My main concern is something would be wrong and surgery will be postponed. But I'm hoping all will be well. I won't actually know the results unless they are bad, then he will call me. So dr don't call!! haha.
Also got my dietician appointment tomorrow right after tests to organise starting optifast on wednesday. To be honest with you I'm kinda looking forward to not having to think about food so much (like what i'm going to eat) but not saying i won't miss it. i hate the shakes, ive dont them once before and wanted to murder anyone within striking distance of me.
Thanks to everyone who has read my blog so far. I've only just began but already loving it. It has really helped me process thoughts. So feel free to comment me, loved the comments that i've had already. The more the merrier!
-bridget :0)

Good News

Just wanted to congratulate my little sis on getting her p's today. Please be safe!!!