Big Bridget Be Gone!!!

Another late night. 1.48 a.m. So I'm officially on Opti-fast. I had a little melt down tonight. Everything seemed to hit me. I've been on such a high since the surgeon consultation and have been in a little shock at such a quick surgery date. I don't think I was able to process everything until I woke up today (Tuesday). I also DESPISE the opti-fast. I cannot stand anything that tastes remotely like milk so I was freaking out today about having 42 of those mother fuckers. So I emailed my dietician @ 10 pm and she was so amazing and replied 50 mins later!! She said that I could have the bars instead three times a day. I'm going to have to be super strict and only have one piece of fruit a day as well as no extras. I'm definately going to stick to that. I feel a lot better since that issue was sorted out.
I was very teary tonight also. I think tonight I realised that there are some negatives that come along with this decision. The pb's, eating out issues, relationship issues, blockages etc. I'm also very scared about the new life that's on the other end of the surgery. What will this new Bridget be like? I've never known a skinny version of myself. What will she look like? How will she react when the safety blanket of all the weight is taken away?
So its 2.03 am Wednesday morning. It's day 1 of opti-fast, 14 days before my new life.
bye bye Big Bridget, hello Skinny Biddy
-bridget :0)