Tuesday, December 30, 2008


So I've been on holidays for a week. What have I done, nothing. I havent done any of the numerous assignments I've got piled up waiting for me to start, I havent exercised, I havent even had a proper days food. I think I am exhausted mentally and physically. But I've had enough. I am sick of staying up until 4 a.m (reading), getting up crazy late, and doing nothing productive in my day.
I have had a huge cloud looming right above me with the sister issue. Shes gone thankgod. But she still seems to be fucking us all over. I decided today that I needed to clean her room. I hadnt been in it since the window incident those weeks ago. The room needed a major clean and I thought it might be a good idea for me to be the one to do it. So I've spent the last few hours cleaning away. I rearranged her room and put some little bridget touches to it- pillows, wall ornaments etc. If any of you had seen her room you would flip at my end result. She never kept her room tidy or clean. No one understood how she could live in such mess. Under her bed was the worst, knives and forks, leftover food, cigarettes, glass etc...
Food wise, I could eat a horse. I've noticed my fucked up eating habits since then. I won't eat proper meals, I snack all day. When I do eat its nothing substantial. Bring on next Monday I say. I am only getting .2-.3 put in, but that will make all the difference..
I've missed blogging. My heart hasn't been in it. I think my need for it has come back. It was such a cleansing thing for me. But I think I got too scared of what people were reading, afraid I was revealing too much. This blog might take a change of course sometimes, banding life and "normal" life begin to intertwine after a certain amount of time being a bandster. Let's see where it takes me.
Tomorrow night I have no New Years plans. That kinda blows. Ive never been huge on it to be honest with you. But I want to do something spesh, celebrate my amazing rollercoaster year, and bring in the one in which I know I'll get to my goal weight... I'll make sure I post my resolutions too :0)


Anonymous said...

Hey, while you're in a cleaning mood, my place could do with a run through! haha. God I hate cleaning!

All the bst for the new year.

Em :)