My life as it was, as it is, and as it will be.....

I am way too sentimental. I am way too emotional. But I guess I have a right to be. 2008 was the year of my life. I started my life this year. Total re-birth.
This time last year I look back on and it feels surreal, and bittersweet. That poor girl. That poor shell of a girl. She was so lost. So hopeless. In such desperate need of help- she needed saving from herself. I remember her being sure (like every other year) that the next year would be different. In all honesty I think maybe it was another cop out. She was pretty sure that not much was to amount of her life- that she was plod along in life, falling through the cracks, not living her dreams just dreaming of them.
I can't talk about her as me. I don't know her anymore and I can tell you now, that I never will be back at that place. So its with joy that I am tonight saying goodbye to her. Letting her go once and for all. She won't weigh me down anymore.
Its about this time last year that the frustration of my weight/life really hit me. Taking you back to the beginning of 2008- in a few days time I was to learn about lap band surgery. It is all so weird for me. Thinking of that moment- when I decided to take control of my life. What a moment!
I could honestly sit here all night and relive every amazing experience (and yes, the bad ones too) but Im going to keep them locked here in my heart. And smile all night thinking of them.

So, 2009. Wow you poor bugger! You've certainly got a lot of expectation on you. But I know that the next year of my life will be just as amazing. My resolutions for 2009 are:

• Smile
• Stay focused on your goals
• Stay positive
• Get out of that stupid box you put yourself in and let loose
• Dream big dreams- they can come true if you allow them
• Fall in love with my body (then fall in love with a man)
• Get to my goal weight
• Drink more water
• Exercise after work
• Forgive the past and leave it there

I hope that wherever you are tonight, you take a minute to stop and really smile. Awknowledge your beauty and your power. Praise yourself for your accomplishments. Have a brilliant night, and I'll see all my beautiful blog followers in 2009.....