OK....Definately under 100!!

99.9 today too! So I am offically under 100! I've lost 21 kilos before my 21st birthday. Pretty proud of myself!
Last post from me until I go away for my weekend away! I am really excited!
Will post hopefully Monday with photos.
Can't wait to get my watch on Sunday! It's so pretty. Will post a photo!
Off tonight to get eyebrows done (hair was done today- I'm super blonde!!!! Will take time to get used to- havent been blonde in 2 years) and to order my next charm for Pandora bracelet. Koi fish! I think thats very symbolic for me.


Thankyou to everyone for their continuous support and kind words. Really helps me push through those rotten times!

-skinny "UNDER 100!!!!" biddy :0)

I did it!!! Didn't I?

99.9!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning and jumped on the scales only to see 99.9!!!
I went back on the scales 15 mins later to take a photo to put on my photo blog BUT scales went up to 100.1.
Now, I credit that solely to fluid rentention. I am suffering from that motherfucker currently (although not as bad as I used to) and it tends to kick in 15-20 mins after I wake up. So…the question is…..do I count my weight as 99.9 or 100.1?? Because I really want to be honest about this! Maybe weigh in tomorrow and see what it says.. I have the ring for my “under 100 reward” and its stunning. I really want to wear it!! Lol. So what do u think?Two more sleeps until I leave for my birthday trip away with Kristie to Nelson Bay!!! I haven’t been away in at least 3 years so I’m really excited! And guess what!!??!! I bought a SWIMMING COSTUME!!! I havent owned one in at least 9 years. I have been too self conscious to go out in public. Or even to a friends pool. So for me to actually buy one and plan to wear it- massive. And ah no, no photos of this will be shown on my blog! We are planning on going on a whale cruise (provided it isn’t too windy or raining), have a beauty day with manis, pedis, facials and massages, hit the pool and sauna, relax, take lots of photos, eat lots of yummy food and get some time on the beach.
Getting hair done tomorrow- yay! Going blonder. Back to my original hair colour!! Will be posting photos of hair, trip and birthday party in the next upcoming weeks!! So stay tuned!
Banding wise- restriction has eased off a little in the last few days. I can eat bread with no issues at all. And I get really hungry about 3 hours after I eat. So bring on August 15th I say!
Thinking of setting a new mini goal for after my birthday. Something to keep me in line. I have a goal of 85 for Xmas. So I’m thinking 91 kilos for October 3rd. That will mean 30 kilos lost, and close to my 85 kilo goal for Xmas. I don’t want to set an unrealistic goal - 8 kilos in 8 weeks. With the upcoming change to my diet (cutting out all the gluten) and getting the gym up and running, I am going to be focused on getting there. Thoughts?
That’s enough from me now. Seems quiet on my blog these days. Not sure if I have anymore readers or everyone is just hiding??!!??
-skinny “am I 99.9???” biddy :0)

Weekend News

I haven't really been in the right head space to post a blog. But got my act together and here it is.
Friday I went and saw my surgeon who said he'd do the endoscopy for me. I booked it in for after my birthday.So August 12th I will be in for the day having the biposy. Have to tell the Boss tomorrow. That should be interesting. Surgeon also put me on the scales (which I really didn't want to do because I am sufferering from major fluid retention) but I'd lost another 2 kilos since I was weighed in last. He was really happy with the way everything was going, told me that I'd lost 35% of my total excess body weight and it is usually expected to lose 50% in 12 months so I'm well on my way considering surgery was 4 and a half months ago!
So a few days ago I got down to 100.2. I was so stoked- then the fluid hit. I'm going to leave it til Wednesday/Thursday and HOPEFULLY I will have a wonderful birthday surprise of being 99.9 or even less!
Food wise I can tell that restriction has worn off a lot. Surgeon asked if I wanted a fill Friday but I left it because of upcoming trip. I don't want to be tight for that and not enjoy it. Will watch the food this week, trying to get down to 99.9.
I know that I might not be able to get down to 99.9 before my birthday. But I am really hoping that I can. Please send me positive vibes!!! I don't usually set goals because of the fear of not making them and then totally losing the motivation. But I don't feel that with this one.
Mum is going to give me the money for the gym for 6 months! I am so touched she is doing it. It'll really help me out. I just gotta get it all set up. Its actually the 6 months from my sisters gym contract. Sister isnt using it so Mum is going to transfer it over as mum was paying for it and bern wasnt going. So gotta get bern to sign something- easier said than done! Thats the hard part!
I wanted to leave you tonight with a Katie Melua song. I love love love her and really feel this song represents a lot of my mindset. To me its ME talking to the old me. Here are the lyrics:

A mask is easily place, on a betrayed and broken face
A disguise to hide the past, when you mapped out my skin and made the memories last
Some things are never erased, and I have run when I've been chased.
My recollection of you and me falling off our home made castle.
And even when I'm walking straight-
I always end up in a perfect circle
Oh I try but I just can't wait, to break out of this perfect circle.
Cause giving into old temptation, is like that common twich
The silly stupid realisation, the more you scratch, the more you itch.
Why am I fighting- whats it for? Must have my mask dropped to the floor.
My scars, I shouldn't hide, from the people who are on my side.
Rolling up my sleeves to fight against all the things I've locked up, all the things I've faced
but its time to let it out so we can build a bring new castle
And even when I'm walking straight, I always end up in a perfect circle
Oh I try but I just can't wait- to break out of this perfect circle
Cause giving in to old temptation, is like that common twitch
The silly stupid realization- the more you scratch, the more you itch.
And even when I'm walking straight, I always end up in a perfect circle,
Oh I try but I just can't wait, To break out of this perfect circle
Cause giving in to old temptation is like that common twitch
oh the silly stupid realisation, the more you scratch, the more you itch

-skinny "please let me be under 100 by Sunday!!!" biddy :0)

Thoughts...

Thinking of re-joining Fernwood gym. I am not working out at all anymore except for Thursday nights netball. To get this bloddy weight off I need to move. I think it's $38 a fortnight for gym. I could do four classes a week- Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
These are the classes I'm thinking of doing:
Thursday- Boxing
Friday- Step
Saturday- Cycle
Sunday- Pilates

Thoughts?

Frustration comes to the surface

I cannot, just cannot crack the 101. It goes down to 100.7, then up to 101.1. Its tiring. It's frustrating. I'm over it.
Kristie has made me promise I won't weigh myself until next Monday. So Sami and I are doing it together. We are both around the same weight and trying to crack the 100's. She has an unfair advantage, she got a fill today! So until next Monday I'm not hitting the scales.
Haven't posted a food diary in awhile so here it is:
B- water
L- one chicken, lettuce, mayo and cheese toasted sandwich. YES! YOU HEARD IT RIGHT!!! For the first time since the band I ate an actual sandwich! It was beautiful!!
S- cheese and rice crackers
D- huge downfall. Dad was going to cook dinner. Cut to an hour later he comes home with fish cocktails. I only had two. Hated them- soooo oily!
S- mud cake. yeah, i know. Mums cake in fridge. Couldnt help it.

Night times are motherfuckers for me. BUT I have stopped drinking heaps of soft drink. I used to drink so much pepsi maz at night time. Now it's just one a night and the rest of the night I'm drinking water.
I missed my period this month. Meant to have had it last week. First time I've ever had this happen. I'm not sure whats going on. NO, NOT PREGNANT. It could be because of the troches I was taking a few weeks back. Maybe hormones are super confused as to what the bloody hell is going on with my body. Not sure. I started troches again on Saturday. So far no nausea. I will be watching my appetite in the next week to see if I lose restriction again. I am seeing my surgeon on Friday re coeliac but I might see if I can sneak in a fill at the same time if I feel I'm a little too hungry. I don't ever really feel hungry. And do get full. So I'm ok with it at the moment. I would be so so so happy with it if I could lose some more bloody weight! But, I have noticed I sorta have periods of a week or so where I don't lose anything then I jump on scales and I've lost 2 kilos. So it is a good idea to keep off scales. Need to stop over thinking it. Its just that everytime I've set a mini goal weight it's backfired. I want so much to make the goal. SO so so much. Grrrr....
I got my latest tafe assignment back - much better than the last- 89%. I used my own paper this time. My boss thought I should have written it on scented paper. Lol. Maybe on the back of cheques next time?? So all day Thursday I'll spend on next tafe assignment. I don't know if I told you guys but I've actually been doing twice as much work in a week as needed to get course done. Only need to be doing 5.5 hrs to do course in 2 years (wanted to do in two years) BUT I've been doing 10 hours a week- the amount to get it done in a year!! Sooner the better!!
So in summary of this post, Bridget is frustrated at the scales. Bridget will stop weighing herself every morning. Bridget will continue to keep to the food plans she's written for the next month. Bridget will stop eating Mum's birthday cake. Bridget will make sure her dinner is cooked herself so I can avoid another tonight! Bridget loves her blog, and the amazing friends and support she's been given because of it. Bridget will post new photos of herself in the next few weeks.

-skinny "no more scales" biddy :0)

Weekend Re-cap

I had a brilliant weekend! Met some new friends and old ones at a bandster meet up yesterday. Very nice to get all the comments from everyone saying how good I looked. Always good to see people who share a common issue. Shout out to Lee!!
Weekend was very very busy. Mum's birthday Friday so we went out to dinner last night to celebrate. We were going to go on Saturday night but Mum was in a car accident (shes fine) so we decided not to go. Dad and I were going to share a meal last night but they didn't have the seafood platter so I got a lasanga and he got the fish. I couldn't eat all mine so wanted to take it home. Apparently it was against health regulations- so I stole some plastic cups and snuck it out! Had it for lunch today also. Very very nice! From now on I will definately take a container with me when I eat out!
Busy weekend also with preschool work. I have decided from this week on I'm not going to put as much work into it. I do too much. Didn't get a chance to do any tafe work. Will make sure I do lots this week.
Total Body Overhaul- doing very well. Yesterday wasnt so crash hot as I was out to lunch and dinner. Down to 100.7 as of yesterday morning. So so so so close!!! Hoping that I get there in the next few days. I'm writing down a plan of each days meals. I am sticking to it. I am. And that's brilliant!


-skinny "700 grams to go!!!" biddy :0)

Total Body Overhaul

Went to see surgeon today in regards to doing the endoscopy. Receptionist fucked up and I was there with no Dr and no appointment. It is next Friday. All she said on the phone was "can you come in Friday at 8.30?" So I did. And it was wrong. And it took me 40 mins to get there. And I went with Mum who got to bed late night before as she does night shifts. And it was her Birthday. I will be talking to surgeon next week as this is the third incident that has happend... frustrated? Me? No!!!

In other news....
Did anyone see the Jamie Olive show on Wednesday night? Well I sure did. And ever since then I've been thinking about my food and exercise and the need to respect my body. I have decided to do a TOTAL BODY OVERHAUL. And I think it would be a great idea if we all do this together. I was thinking the last few days "eat whatever I want because soon I wont be" but thats how I put in a lot of weight on right before surgery. So I ain't gonna do it. Apart from the MANY time I will be going out in the next month (everyone is having birthdays!!) I am going to be very health concious. Any help would be great. Tips on great foods etc. And I am going to exercise more than I have been. And I mean it this time. I want to look after my body. Its the only body I'll ever have and its gotta last me a very very long time!!!
So, who is with me? Come on guys! We can do this! Just post your name and what you hope to achieve with the total body overhaul.

-skinny "overhauling" biddy :0)

Update

Hi Guys,
Thanks to everyone who has sent me positive vibes. I've really appreciated it.
I'm off to see my banding surgeon tomorrow in regards to the endoscopy that I will have to have to diagnose coeliac disease. He will take a biopsy of my intestine to test me. It did show up in the bloodwork but they want to be 110% sure before they put me on the strict diet.
I am feeling better about things. I knows its not the end of the world, and the huge plus is that I will lose a heap of weight on the diet!!!
Played netball tonight. I was G.A instead of G.S. OH MY GOD MORE RUNNING!!! It was tough. But I think I did ok. Well I was getting compliments at the end which was nice.
Not really thinking about my food at the moment. Things are going to change dramatically in a month (after the endoscope- not having it until after my 21st) so I'm not foucusing on food right now.
Only 3 days off this week. Gotta fit a lot into those days. I'm a busy bee!

-bridget

BAD BAD BAD BAD DAY

Having an ok day until I answer the phone at work and its mum. She asks if I have 5 mins to spare as she needs to talk to me about blood test results. Remember the specialist I went to see like 2 months ago that took shit loads of blood? Well he said he'd get back to me if anything was wrong. BULLSHIT. HE NEVER DID AND SOMETHING IS WRONG.
I called yesterday after some ribbing from mum. They called back whilst I was at work today and gave mum the results.
I have very very low vitamin d and c levels as well as chromium. Explains the 2 month cold. My insulin is worst its ever been (917 when meant to be 140). And I tested postive for Coelic Disease.
I wanted to tell you guys whats going on. But you need to give me some time to take this in. I've gone from things constantly going wrong in my life to things starting to get on track. Now back to fucked.

-bridget

What the?

Scales this morning..... don't know why but I had a good feeling.
AND I WAS RIGHT!!!
101!!!!!
That means..... I've offically lost 20 kilos. AND I'm 1.1 kilos away from the magical 99.9! So close I can taste it. Well no, eew. Lol. But I am so proud! I can't wait til the day when I get down to 99.9! Single digits will be bliss! It'll be soon. Definately before my birthday. With 20 days to go it'd be crazy if I didn't!
Nothing else to report. Food is getting stuck when I'm at home because I tend to eat it whilst watching tv. So that will be one of my goals
My goal this week are:

• drink more water
• concentrate on chewing
• do pilates on saturday morning

Hope you had a nice weekend, I had four days off and don't remember them- such a blur! It's going to be a busy week. Working extra, mums bday on friday, going for my green p's if I get a chance, tafe work on saturday (as well as getting my next charm- the heart) and bandster meetup on sunday.

-skinny "super duper happy with scales" biddy :0)

Frustration!

So I can't move off 101! Damn fluid has come and spoiled my fun. AF arriving anytime now so there's the reason. So I will stay away from scales until end of next week and hopefully get a suprise on the scales. Just another speedbump- I'll get through. I will watch the food intake and the exercise.
Nothing much else to report. So busy at the moment with party plans, tafe and work. Can't wait til this weight shifts!!! Grrrr.
Thanks for the comments on last post. I love reading them. It's so nice to have such support.
Will report back soon hopefully telling you I've cracked the 101, then the magic 100!!!

-skinny "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" biddy :0)

All I did was blink

I can't believe it! I hop in scales this morning and its 101.1!!! Soooo close! Why couldn't my body have been nice and given me that 100 grams? So 100 grams until I've lost 20 kilos and 1.2 kilos until I'm 99.9!! I can make it by my birthday! Sweeet!
Home from a really great game of netball. Was lots of running. So I can definately say that I am going to have that 100 grams off by the morning. I also did pilates. I felt so great after both. So back into the swing of the exercise me thinks. Still haven't decided if I will join that gym or not. I honestly don't know if I can keep that commitment. At least I'm being honest. Might leave it a little while.
I am feeling good. I am feeling super good. It's hard to blog when everything is positive. Lol.
Something else I'm slowly learning..........
I winge sometimes about no boyfriend. I know the reason its not happening now. It's totally me. It's the way I look away when guys look at me, its the way I hold myself, they can tell the lack of self confidence I have when it comes to guys. I am sure of it. But slowly, its changing. It'll happen. Just need to be able to smile at the reflection in the mirror of myself before I can smile at a guy whos smiling at me.

skinny "smiling" biddy :0)

P.s: Mum bought home 2 dozen doughnuts she got for free......nightmare...

Seen my weight loss ticker recently??

Yeap.... 800 grams until I've lost 20 kilos!! Which means I have 1.9 kilos until I'm under 99.9!!! I can totally do this by my birthday! Yes, probably won't lose the 1.9 kilos this week like I wanted for my goal. But that's ok. I never really expected it anyway. Lol it was a long shot!
Tonight I had a small bandster meetup. It is always good to get together with people who understand your daily life and daily struggles and just talk. I did take something away from that meet-up. I've decided that its ok to plan for future weight loss. Lemme explain...
I've tried for ever like most bandsters have to lose weight. But I never really set any goals because I was scared that by setting goals I was setting myself up to fail when I didn't reach them. I know people sometimes buy clothes for "when they lose weight". I never did that for the previously stated reason. I was talking to two women who have done this. And I've decided I am going to do it. If I see something I love, I'm going to get it in the next size down. I think it will be a great motivation for me.
Well I definately have restriction!!! Today I've had:
3/4 packet of rice wheels
Easy Mac
Skim Hot Chocolate
1/3 portion of spag bol (I had trouble getting this down. I ended up with the hiccups. Something I know other bandsters get. I've never had them before so it was interesting. I had a sip of Sprite and it settled them down!)
Ice cream (yeah i know, im a freak. its fucken cold as and im eating ice cream!)

Its definately a lot less than I've been eating portion wise. I'm not getting hungry at all. I really need to SLOW DOWN. To prevent "stucks" and pbs.

Very tired tonight. Can't wait for a sleep in tomorrow! Then its starting a new module for tafe and netball. Having dinner out tomorrow night. Not sure what I am going to have. Going to stick to mushies for another two days or so.

-skinny "800 grams to go- i can do it!" biddy :0)

After my fill today

I don't feel any different.
I am going to call my fill Dr tomorrow because I am a little confused. I seem to have lost some fill. I got .6mls put in and now according to the records I have 5.3 mls in. So theres some fill gone missing!!
Since the fill late this afternoon, I have had:
* 400 mls of chicken and sweet corn soup (i HATE soup- but this one I LOVED!!)
* chocolate
* twisties

Yeap. Chocolate and twisties and I've had a fill this afternoon. This is how I can tell I haven't got that "newly filled" feeling.
I am really struggling mentally with all this. I have been looking forward to having this fill for two weeks. Grrr...

Adding to my weekly goals:

• NO TWISTIES OR CHOCOLATE

Will let you know what happends when I talk to Dr Fill
Thanks Myf for you wonderful comments, not only on my new photos up on my photo gallery, but for the wonderful things you said in your most recent post. Hugs!

-skinny "frustrated" biddy :0)

Weekly Goals

Howdy partners!
Ok, every Sunday from now on I will be making weekly goals. Sami is doing it too (go check out her blog) so its great that we can motivate each other.
This weeks goals are:

• Drink more water- at least 1.5 Litres. I did this last week but by the end of the week I wasn't doing it.
• Aim to get under 100. I have 2.6 kilos to go and a big fill tomorrow so hoping that will help me get there.
• Exercise at least 4 times. I only did it twice last week so going to make a better effort. Hoping the pilates dvd I ordered a week ago comes in next few days. I adore pilates and it seems to motivate me to work out further as I end up feeling so great about myself.

It's going to be a busy week I think. I have to make invites for my 21st (having a medium come to my place to have a group reading with a few close friends. I have to finish assignment for tafe and start new unit. Send off a few letters to people (shout out teegs!), organising transfering my super accounts, start programming for preschool and organise tax stuff. Yukky!!
Enjoy your week. Will post tomorrow after my fill. Having it after work at 4.30. I've never had one so late-so I'll probably miss din din. SO SO SO SO SO excited to have it. Bring it on!!

-skinny "soon to be filled- yay restriction!" biddy :0)

Shock!

See my photo gallery! Holy Moly!
Tonight I was feeling different. I don't know how else to describe it. I randomly wanted to try on some clothes that I've had for awhile. In particular the top that I wore to the hospital the morning of my surgery. I was in total shock. It looked amazing! (If I do say so myself!) So I got mum (her mouth was open in shock) to take a photo. She looked at it, looked at me, and said "now you are going to like this one". Usually I end up taking 4 or 5 photos before I find one that I think is half decent to put on blog. I grabbed the camera and looked. "Wow" was all I could say. I couldn't and still can't- believe it is me! I got so emotional, it hit me hard. I couldn't stop crying! Then Mum started crying- which wasn't good because she was all made up for a party! Lol. But it just really hit me. I don't think until tonight I have fully felt the impact of what has happened to me over the last 4 month physically. Yes, mentally I have changed, but I was sort of saying "yeah I've lost 18.5 kilos" proud, but not aware. I now am totally aware!!!
This has definately made me more motivated. I can TOTALLY get to my goal of under 100 for my birthday. And definately can get to the goal of under 85 for Christmas!
I want to say a big thankyou to everyone who has supported my on my journey so far. Big big thanks and hugs especially to Kristie, Sami (go read her blog!) and Myf. Without you three I'd be lost.
Tomorrow I will write up my weekly goals. I am a little unsure as to what they will be. Might have a goal of getting under 100 by next Sunday- not impossible as Bridgys getting a big fill monday!!!
I've got a huge smile on my face, and a huge smile in my heart. This weight loss thing is actually achievable. I CAN DO IT. I CAN GET TO MY GOAL.

-definately skinny biddy!!

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere!!!

Its been a pretty excellent day on the self esteem side!
I went to see my wonderful dietician today and she though I looked incredible. Pretty stoked! I weighed in and not only didn't I gain with the two weeks of no restriction- but I lost 500 grams. I am pretty happy with that! I did previously state that was my goal! So yay!
I also returned home to a few emails from people telling me how amazingly I had done, I was inspiring and pretty! Nice nice nice!
I also measured my waist (only measurement I really take notice of) and I've lost 18 cms off that! Whoa! I am back to the same size waist as I was when I was taking the horrid duromine. Yet I am 10 kilos heavier. Weird!
I'm waiting for my pilated dvd to arrive in the mail. I started it up a few years ago and it really helped me shift the cms moreso than kilos but I felt great doing it.
I'm having my next fill along with my dad fter work on Monday. I am planning on having a big one since I've lost a lot of restriction. Myself and my dietician think that after this fill I will definately be under 100. Here's hoping.
So far with goals....
* drank my 1.5 litres each day, yesterday a little under. Today (yes at 11 pm) i am still going, trying to get there! lol
* only worked out twice this week, will walk tomorrow and sunday
*didnt weigh myself until today liked promised- this was a good thing for me- i started to become obsessed with the number.

All for now. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. I plan on walking, doing tafe work, and reading banding blogs!

-skinny "flattered" biddy :0)

Recap

No more work for the week, phew! It's been a busy week, we had the validator come in on Monday and boy he was a hard arse! Seems we might have to re-do the whole accreditation process as he has failed us in several areas. Now me and the staff as childcare workers do an excellent job, no issue with that. The guy who validated us was more interested in the policies rather than the practises. And due to a wrong word here and there we are in shit. Grrr. Not again! Couldn't handle 11 hr days again!
Goal wise, I am doing really well. Our scales broke so I definately can't weigh myself until Friday. I'm drinking at least 1.5 Litres of water each day. I haven't worked out since Sunday, so I've gotta work out at least 3 more times. I have not stopped at work though, I'm running around after 14 2 yr olds!
Food wise I have been watching what I'm eating, more so portion sizes. Trying to watch carbs also. In saying that, I did have pizza last night. It's not something that I will be doing again for a long time. Ok when you are eating it, but I felt so uncomfortable when I woke up this morning and was really bloated.
I got my first tafe assignment back today. I was given 69/100. I am a little disappointed in the results. I did hate the unit but I put effort into it. Apparently you were meant to use your own paper. NO WHERE did it state this. I think I might email them to clarify. Because of this, I lost marks on pretty much every question because I wasn't able to elaborate much on answers. Comments though were good, apparently I have excellent professionalism and it was well done. Hmmm... confusing!
Looked at my hit counter, over 5000 hits! Thats incredible. I am so overwhelmed! Thanks guys for reading. Remember, all comments are welcome!

Stay classy cyber dudes
-skinny "4 days off woo!" biddy :0)