Light and freeing

My band is being a bitch. Barbie and I aren't talking.... (for those not in the know, Barbie is what I've named my band!)
I've thrown up twice today and had one stuck. Beginning of the week I lost restriction. Now I feel over restricted. What is going on!!
Cannot wait to see my gp in two weeks (I was lucky to get that appointment....they wanted me to wait until November!) to sort out whats happening. I hope it resolves itself before that however...
Tonight I wrote myself a life list. It was so utterly liberating... I'll share a few things I've got on there:
* become friends with someone else named Bridget Parker
* be able to say, in success and failure "I tried"
* ride a rollercoaster
* skinny dipping
* write a book
* host a massive cocktail party
*tattoo at goal weight (69)
* sleep under the stars
*travel
*turn my phone off for a week

The list is long... but my life will be long too!! I'm going to try and get at least one thing done a month, so hopefully then soon I can re-write it. I think its important for our selves, our souls to have goals. I want to look beyond my weight goal. Because my life will not be complete when I get to 69. It'll just be something I can cross off my list.

I went for a 3 km walk today outside. Usually I dont do outside walks without Dad. Kinda a self conscious thing I used to have. Used to. I loved the walk. It was a beautiful day and there was nothing stopping me from doing it. And its something I will continue to do!

I'm slowly closing in on my clarity...