Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Whats up?

Hi Guys,

Been missing in action as of late. Felt so freaking flat and low that I didn't even know how to string a sentence together for this blog. Been off since Friday night. Thinking "oh its just pms". Turns out my friend at work has felt the same as me (low, teary, numb, no appetite, wanting to be sick) since Friday night also. We've put it down to work. It's not fun. It's stressful, its boring. We get no support whatsoever.
Also guy issues. Does he, doesn't he. Whats happening? When are we meeting? Then the old scared fat Bridget was trying to come out and say "he won't like you, you arent worth it." Also the scaredness factor. This is so new. First time putting myself out there and actually wanting it to work out. The other dates I haven't really cared. Snapping outta that now. I AM worth it. In fact- is he worth it? Meh.... go with the flow :0)
I didn't go to the gym yesterday afternoon like I promised myself. I was exhausted after work. Felt really emotional and frustrated. So I jumped on the treadmill for 30 mins. I did intervals of 2 mins running and 5 mins walking. I FELT SO MUCH BETTER AFTERWARDS! I have done 15 mins tonight (couldn't miss Packed To The Rafters) and will maybe do another 15 later on tonight.
Food wise has been a little "blah". Ive felt sick in the stomach since Friday. Havent had much of an appetite. Eating though. My co worker is on my back about food. Shes worried that Im not eating and doesnt want me to get sick (because that will mean shes gotta pick up the slack if I get sick). Everytime I eat I don't feel right. Band is ok. No issues with that. Just weird tummy rumblings after I eat.
Anyway.... all for now.....


Melanie said...

It's the damned heat getting to us all I think. Good on you for hitting the treadmill. I think the guy thing is interested - in my early twenties I thought I was fat and not "worthy" of guys' attention - I used to settle for somewhat substandard men thinking that was all I could get (or maybe deserved). Now, I look back at photos and think what an f-wit. I was bright and beautiful and volumptuous - a male friend from back then that I could up with late last year told me that sll the guys thought I was hot - so why didn't they ask me out or tell me that? I asked - he said it was the vibe I used to put out which said to him and others guys - she's not interested. I guess that was the armour I'd built up around myself so i wouldn't get hurt by potential knowck-backs - stupid fat thinking. Sorry for the rave, I guess I'm just saying don't sell yourself short - you're worthy of the best and deserve it. let the world see what you're made of and let that inner light shine through - stand tall and take on the world. PS don't envy you the job in childcare - such underpaid, undervalued hard, hard work. It's funny how our society values and pays people more for looking after plants!!