Sunday, March 23, 2008

My Easter Weekend So Far

So I haven't written in a few days and that feels like years to me!
I over did it a little Friday. I was feeling pretty good so I was cleaning my room. I mean serious cleaning! I re arranged some pictures, threw out a mass of junk and sorted out my bookcase. After my short burst of energy I was exhausted, sore and had a room that looked worse than when I started! I didn't end up getting to bed until 4 am because my port area was so sore. Silly me I know. Learnt not to do too much just yet.
Food wise I can eat too much. My concerns were confirmed Friday night when I was able to eat McDonalds. I was tired after my bedroom cleaning so grabbed some takeaway. Fries went down fine. I tried one of those double beef and bacon burgers. That was a mistake. It was very dry and hurt so much going down. I was worried it would get stuck or I'd pb but neither happend. The pain lasted about 60 seconds and felt fine afterwards. Of course I still went on to eat a whole Mcfeast burger. I think because its got all that sauce in it, it was easy to eat. I can already feel your heads shaking, hands in the air yelling "why bridget why?????!!!!!"
I am definately looking foward to my first fill in two weeks.
I'm pmsing at the moment and thats usually the time when I have my biggest downfall. I really really crave carbs at that time. I've been "good" this time around and sticking to Cruskits.
I went to my nan's Saturday to see relos from Sydney. We got there around 3.30 and they were already cooking dinner. My step-pop was hungry so wanted us to all eat when it was best for him. Selfish man. So we fought it off till 5. I wasn't going to eat at that time because I was still full from the 4 cruskits I had for breakfast. Plus I knew my nan would be watching my every mouthful. I have told you before that the woman is obsessed with food. To a point where she starves herself to loose weight. She looks super super skinny now, bad skinny. My mum made the mistake of telling her she looked thin. My nan took this as a compliment. See, told you it was bad. So I said I couldn't eat yet. She pressured me all night but I ignored it. If I have to deal with this for the next however long shes around I don't think I'll cope. I will have to get mum to talk to her. She's not getting my subtilties.
I've noticed that I am getting snappy sometimes. My mum is the one that cops it. Any other bandsters had this happen? It pops up from outta the blue and I feel like a monster, I cant control it.
Food for Saturday:
Breakfast- 4 cruskits (2- vegemite, cottage cheese, tomato) (2- cheese and fruit chutney)
Lunch- Nil
Dinner- Salmon and vegies
Supper- 4 cruskits (vegemite, cottage cheese and tomato) - i know bad! shouldnt have had!
Also had some chocolate....

Ok well its 2.14 am on Sunday morning. I should get some sleep before the easter bunny arrives.
Hurry up April 4th!!!!!!!!!!! I really really really need a fill! A big one!!!

-skinny (needing a fill or wont be skinny) biddy :0)


mjwdec73 said...

Okay. Don't beat yourself up. Your body is still healing and it isn't about weight loss. Sure, you made a less than ideal food choice, but you know what - the band doesn't make you any less human. Right now you really don't have much restriction except for the swelling you still have in your stomach so of course you can eat things you don't think you should. It will pass.

With the snappishness - at least your mum will still love you, even if she doesn't like you for a little while. I took it out on my assistant at work - I felt like the bitch from hell whenever I did it. I think it was a combination of frustration that everything didn't happen straightaway, lack of good sleep cos I couldn't sleep the way I wanted to and a bit of the what the hell I have I dones. All you can do is apologise and wait for it to pass.

Good idea to get your mum to talk to your nan. Hopefully that will help.

I'm sorry I wrote you an essay, but it just happened.

Be kind to yourself, and take it easy.

Myf xox

PS - Sorry, just cracked up at the word verification I got - pmspms :)