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Friday, November 21, 2008

Rollercoaster

My sister left today, back to Perth (she only came home Saturday). It was only decided last night so it's been very fast and very emotional. I said goodbye to her this morning before I left for work. I arrived at work in big sunnies covering my red swollen eyes and tear stained cheeks.
Work is giving me the shits. I am definately in need of a break. Every little thing is getting to me. I used to enjoy every aspect of it. Now I think the honeymoon period has ended. After the stressful two months I've had without a break I think thats also gotten to me. There might be some resentment there that I couldn't take any time off to take it all in whilst everyone else went on their lovely holidays. I still have no idea as to my plans next year. All still up in the air.
Band wise I am eating very little portions. I drink as much fluid as possible and that it filling for me up until lunchtime at 1.15 pm. Then I have leftovers from previous nights dinner, come home and have a teeny snack, then dinner. I am over food. I'll work on food in a few days. I think with the week I've had food has been the last thing on my mind. Funny though, stress and food used to go hand in hand. Now its not the case. Very good.
The sister would never say it to me but she told mum I looked great and was slightly envious. She's always been the "skinny one" and now the tables have turned. I thought I would feel some kinda power over her now its finally happened. Not the case. I feel sad for her. Shes where I was for all those years. She can't be helped. She wont take it.
Exercise will start again next week when all the drama has died down. I'm also back to 3 days a week so it'll give me days off to fit it in. I am looking forward to it! My membership expires in Feb so hopefully the job situation has worked out because I dont want to be without the gym.
Havent checked the scales in a few days. Weird things are going on. 95, then 93, then 91, then 95, then 93. Scales are broken I think. I'm not in denial, I know somethings up because a few days ago I hopped on and it read 95, tried again and it was 93. Off to buy new ones!
No plans this weekend which Im truly greatful for. I plan to sleep in tomorrow, probably go shopping (even though I really couldnt be bothered lol) for new underwear. My bras are crazy stupid now with the massive change in boobie size so I gotta get measured. I also wanna try Jeans West to see how the clothes are on me. I havent dared enter them in years. I am a little hesitant because I'm scared nothing will fit and I'll go off the rails. Deep down I know thats old Bridgy talking. I will do it. Might wait until I can go shopping with someone though. I dont want to bawl my eyes out in Jeans West alone. Lol.
I recieved a response to the article written in Cleo magazine. It basically said thanks for the feedback but write to the author. I was very disappointed. I know that there will always been losers who write negative articles. I've read a few, that one just pissed me off because it was in a magazine I've read for a long time, I expected more!
Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. Do something special for yourself, you deserve it
-bridget

3 comments:

Nikki said...

I know how you must feel having your sister leave again. I hate being away from my family.

Just a question in regards to food. Are you allowed to eat eggs?

Reason I ask is that I was reading an article by a dietician and they said people who eat eggs for breakfast lose more weight than those who don't. So I have been trying it and you don't feel hungry for ages after having them!!

If your allowed to have them maybe give them a go!

Bridget said...

I love eggs. Boiled eggs on cruskits.... mmmmm....
I could only have those for lunch though (so not the days I work) because I cannot eat before at least 11. My band is too tight to get anything but lovely liquids down.

Melanie said...

I shopped at Jeans West for the first time when I hit 95 kg and bought t-shirts in XXL size and they're great. I'd never dared go in there and it was only that my 15 year old daughter dragged me in that I went.

I also got that lame excuse from Cleo's editor - what a cop out. I used to work for Cosmopolitan magazine and I know that was simply lazy journalism. However, our actions might make them think twice before cutting a corner next time. Thanks for bringing it to our attention. Good work with the gym commitment. Hope work is better this week. Try using some of the white light that you would have encountered in your spirituality courses - just a thought.
Melanie