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Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Just to let you know

Thanks Myf for the comment on last blog.
I was having a rough night when I wrote that post. Afterwards I was on the verge of tears. Must go to the doctor and get my PCOS sorted out. I am sooo over having worst fluid retention ever as well as cramps and mood swings when I really shouldn't be.
It's really disheartening when I'm trying hard and get on the scales and see I've put on 2 kilos. BUT it's not actual weight, its fluid. I'm just over it. I will go see a Doc and see what can be done. I thought that after some weight loss it would get better. I mean my skin and hair has improved but nothing else.
It would be a lot easier for me to just have a weight problem. PCOS is making everything harder. It's the reason I went so drastic with the surgery however. I want to make sure that I can have children when that time in my life comes around. I want to make sure that I give myself the best life I can, and not to have all these horrible side effects like mood swings, acne, fluid retention, memory loss, headaches, tiredness, hair loss etc.
So at the moment I'm struggling. It WILL get better I know. But just need some sort of help to deal with it.
I am also finding it difficult with Dad having the band. Everyone is always asking about Dad, always being super impressed with his weight loss. I feel a little lost in all of this. I don't want it to be all about me, that's selfish. But I dunno, just feeling really weird about it. I think its so awesome he is doing something about his weight. But yeah. I dunno. I can't really articulate how I am feeling. He's so wrapped up in himself he doesn't really listen to what I am saying or how I am going. Its straight back to him. I know men lose weight quicker, and I know he's always been the kinda guy that loses a dramatic amount in the first month then it slows down. But its frustrating.
Sorry its a sucky post. But I thought you deserved the truth and how I am truly feeling.

-bridget

3 comments:

mjwdec73 said...

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))

Hormones suck. Yes, they do. Whoever decided to give us these damn hormones sure had a sense of humour (theological moment - proves God is male!!!)

Intellectually you know you are doing the right things. You are getting out there and you are exercising, and you are being careful with what you eat. Those are the things you can control. You can't control the PCOS right now. Get some help with that, but accept that there are some things you can't do. The fluid will go away - you know it isn't permanent. You are doing everything you can, and know that you have access to some of the best science to help you.

With your dad, I know what you mean. It sucks when it isn't all about you (I know you know what I mean) - you have made all these massive changes in your life and now there is something fresh for others to focus on. Just keep on, things will balance out and people will remember you exist.

xoxoxoxox

Diz said...

That's the great thing about your blog...when I read it...it's all about YOU Baby!!! I don't care how well your Dad is doing...even though I know you do. I want to read how you are doing, feeling, the highs and the lows. It will prepare me for my journey and that's what I want. Someone who's real.

Thanks for blogging true. I appreciate you.

lapbandlife said...

I know exactly what you mean, being compared with someone else. My boyfriend was banded at the same time as me. He's lost 15kg, me 8kgs. Everyone has commented on how much weight he's lost and how fantastic he's looking (and he is!) and I get absolutely nothing! But I'm proud of him as you are of your dad.

It must be really difficult with PCOS. All you can do is the best you can.

As a wise redhead once sang - "the sun will come out tomorrow" :)

Em :)