Exhausted

Just got home from the hosptial which I've been at since 9 this morning. Pretty tired.
We got there at 9.30, waited until about 12.30 then Dad was taken off for op. He was pretty nervous. But the great new is that after two weeks on opti-fast he lost 9 kilos and blood pressure reading was best it has been in years!!!
We waited in his room for hours until we started to get concerned. Nurse told us Dad had problems in surgery with his breathing due to his sleep apnea. His blood saturation levels were very very low. Meant to be over 95...mum looked at obs sheet at it was apparently 47!!!!
Hope everyone is well.
I'm off to bed so I can get up early and go back to hopefully pick Dad up!

-skinny tired biddy :0)

First Cold Restriction

Just finished dinner. It took me 30 mins to eat. Something that I've enver really done before. Usually it takes me 15 mins to eat. The cold is definately doing something to Barbie!

Todays food

Breakfast- Glass or Apple Juice

Lunch- 2 mini tortillas with cheese tomato and sweet chilli sauce toasted

Snack- biscuit

Dinner- Spag Bol


Dad's surgery is tomorrow. I am pretty nervous about it. I'm going to have to hold back the tears. I am so glad that he is getting it done. I honestly thought that in the next few years I would have to bury him. So knowing that he is doing something about his weight issues and all the health complications he has because of it. No more diabetes, no more high blood pressure and no more sleep apnea. So up nice and early tomorrow morning to spend the day in hospital with him.
No exercise today. Worked for a little bit, then had family over to wish Dad well. Probably won't get to work out until netball thursday night. Then back into it Friday morning with gym. Also going to get Dad out and walking around as soon as I can.
Feet are recovering well. Lol. So many comments on the boots!!
Thanks to everyone for all the support. This blog is one of the main reasons I have such motivation and drive.

-skinny "wishing Dad all the best for tomorrow" biddy :0)

These Boots Weren't Made For Walking

Damn these new boots!!! Walked around shops all day and I'm in agony! I've never owned boots before and no one told me you don't just put em on, didn't realise you needed socks or tights. Grrr... learnt the bloody hard way.
Things on the home front are still shitty. Crazy sister went crazier....... love her to bits but the girl needs help. Especially after nearly running me over with her car last night.
Money is super tight also so my mood isn't as good as I'd like it to be. Mum is being amazing as usual. She said take it as a positive that I want to go out more (hence money- going out means money).
Food wise here's my day:

Breakfast: (was at lunchtime- wasnt hungry until then) prawn cutlets and chips (yeah not nutritional at all i know)
Lunch- was nothing as breakfast was at lunch time!! lol
Snack- boost pineapple passion juice
Dinner- Herb and Garlic Fish with leftover potato bake and veggies

I know some (or most im not sure) people with weight issues run to food in a crisis. I've had MAJOR crisis' over the last few days. And not once have I run to food for comfort. I never have. My issues with weight come from my illnesses (Insulin resistance and pcos). I simply look at a piece of bread and gain 2 kilos. So I think it makes things easier for me.
No exercise today. Did lots of walking around with boots (grrr) I know this doesnt really count. But I was up pretty early and usually that means I come home and have a nana nap in the afternoon. Nup! Not today! Definately means my health is improving. Tomorrow I'm working so I won't get in any exercise. Excuse, maybe. But child care is a bitch! Also, if I was to it would be tomorrow night, but want to be home for Dad the night before his surgery. Go over a few things with him. Man its happening so fast! Mum wants me to write a list of things she needs to get for post op.
Any vegetarian bandsters out there???? Any advice would be super awesome!! Dad is a vego so wanna make sure that he's taken care of. I know our dietician is amazing so he'll be right. But any tips would be nice.
I've been thinking a lot the last few days about blogging land. Blogging for me is a way at the end of the day to decompress. To see how I've done overall in my day. It's my diary- it just happends to be online. To me so far I haven't really thought about the people that are reading it. But the other day I became consicous of it. Hence taking the photos down. I'm still a little embarased about the way I am. So until I can confidently say "this was the old me and I dont look anything like I used to" I'm keeping them off blog. I've lost nearly 15 kilos but not a lot of people at all have commented on the loss. I think that its because in the last few months when I put on that 15 kilos I hid myself away from the world. So they wouldn't know me that way. So waiting for that 90 kilo mark. I KNOW in my heart of hearts that I will be a different person then in so many ways.

Wanted to post my favourite quote again. Something that Myf told me I should be saying to myself everyday. And I will.

"Not only is another world possible, but she is on her way. On a quiet day I can hear her breathing"
Arundthi Roy

-skinny sore fucking feet biddy :0)

Shitty Sunday

Photos have been taken down.

Food
Breakfast- 2 mini tortillas with cheese, ham and sweet chilli sauce toasted
Lunch- 2 cruskits with roast beef and hommus
Dinner- Atlantic Salmon with veggies and potato bake

Exercise
90 mins netball training.

Posts are short at the moment because I am having MAJOR family issues. So instead of posting horrible negative crap I'll just post the stuff you really want to know.
The big thing is:
I CRACKED THE 110!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All that exercise must have paid off!
I'm sooooooo close to the 15 kilos lost!!! One to go. So that should be gone soon with all this movement.

-skinny "taken photos down because a few ppl i didnt want to read the blog did" biddy

Saturday Wrap

Food Journal

Breakfast- V8 juice
Lunch- 2 eggs and 3 cruskits
Snack- ajatas vege chips
Dinne- sushi and seaweed salad

Exercise
20 mins treadmill
10 mins elliptical trainer


Tomorrow is netball training-which means running! Must go get ankle and knee guards. I remembered the morning after netball why I had quit 5 years ago....I stuffed them up playing!
Just want to say thanks to Myf. Thanks for the talk, and the boost to get me to go to the gym. I did feel great afterwards.
Once again reminding you about the new Facebook group- Young and Banded. Come check it out guys!
All my photos have been moved to a new page-
http://bridgetparkerphotogallery.com

Last post I said I'd tell you about some of the things on my "Bucket List". Here's a little sample:

• Get tattoos
• Sky Dive
• Swim with Sharks
• Learn fluent French
• Walk the Harbour Bridge
• City to Surf 09
• Go to the Australian Open
• Live in American for a year as an Au Pair
• Hold a snake

Whats on your bucket list? Lemme know....

-skinny bucketing biddy :0)

Lessons Learned

We lost netball tonight. 18-27. I only played one half (14 mins) just to ease myself into it. I was Goal Shooter and was proud to get a few goals in. It made me realise how much I missed it. And what I've been missing out on. Next week I will attempt to play a full game. And run more.
I was thinking of going to the gym tomorrow to do step class. Forgetting that the gym won't have classes because it's Anzac Day. Heres the plan for exercise next few days
Friday: Nil lol
Saturday: Gym workout (treadmill, bike and cross trainer)
Sunday: Pilates in morning, netball training in the afternoon
Monday: Beginners Cycle
Tuesday: Circuit Class
Wednesday: Nil (Dad's surgery!!)
Thursday: Netball
Friday: Step Class

Ok heres the food diary for the day
Breakfast- Nil (band too tight and woke up SUPER late)
Lunch- 4 cruskits (2 roast beef and hommus) (cottage cheese, tomato and vegemite)
Dinner- Chicken Pasta Bake
Snack- twisties (yeah i know.)

Tonight I learnt that trying new things might be scary at first, but after a little while its a bunch of fun. Starting a "Bucket List" tonight. So will let you know what is on it in next post.
I hope that everyone enjoys their long weekend.

Lest we Forget

-skinny netball loving biddy :0)

Rain rain go away and don't come back another day!

I'm hating the cold! Must buy winter clothes! First time ever!

I've started a support group on Facebook- "Young and Banded" is only very early days so please bare with me as I get it up and running. Please come join (if you don't have Facebook grab and account- you won't regret it!!) and join in the fun! I think it will be really good for us youngsters to have some other bandsters our own age to chat to.

FOOD JOURNAL
Breakfast- Nil (band tight in morning)
Lunch- 3 cruskits (mustard, cheese and tomato)
Snack- rice crackers and chive and onion philly dip
Dinner- Quiche Lorraine and Veggies.

First game of netball tomorrow night! If I don't post again its because I've had a heart attack from the intense physical activity I will be going through for the first time since band!

-skinny scared biddy :0)

What's being hungry like? I don't know, I haven't been today!!

Breakfast- Boost Pineapple Passion juice
Lunch- KFC Mashed Potato and Gravy
Dinner- Sheperd's Pie and veggies.

Didn't feel hungry today. I did once whilst in the movies but had a sip of my Boost Juice and it went away. It is a very liberating feeling. Knowing that you are totally in control of everything you put into your mouth. All day I felt like I was able to get on with my day and not worry about food.
Something that I wanted to let you know also, I haven't had any major stuck incidents lately. I think its because after my last bad one I learnt that I need to eat when I'm feeling "peakish" and not let it go any further. If I do then its a reciepe for disaster. So anyone out there newly banded, please try and listen to your stomach and don't let it go. Because if you aren't starving when you eat, you can eat slowly and have less of a chance to pb or have a "stuck".
Another new development today. Walking past mirrors I don't feel like I'm going to throw up looking back at the person in it. I cant wait until the scales read under 100. It's going to be awesome!!! Not too far until I get there!
Tomorrow is the day. I start back at the gym after 8 weeks deferral. I am a little scared. Lol. But I guess that's ok. I'm going to start somewhat easy tomorrow otherwise I won't want to go back. So I think about 30 mins with the treadmill and cross trainer should be good. I want to work up to this plan

Sunday- Pilates and netball training
Monday-
Tuesday- maybe workout after work
Wednesday-
Thursday- Netball possible workout during day
Friday- Step Class
Saturday- 30 min Pump Class, maybe some tennis

I am really looking forward to becomming more active. I just need that push of motivation!!!

Stay warm

-skinny back to gym biddy :0)

Oh! P.s: Eve- for my 21st I was planning on going to Star City. I can't drink a drop so I'm always looking for ways to have fun and make sure whoever I'm with do also. If anyone has any ideas for an original party idea please lemme know. Last year I went on a ghost tour. Lol. So things like that.

Pol Closed

Background/Layout
0 (0%)
More photos
9 (81%)

More info for future bandits
0 (0%)
Daily Food Journal
2 (18%)

Votes so far: 11 Poll closed

So will take this on board. Thanks to the 11 people that voted. Will add both items voted on into blog more.

Second Fill

Howdy y'all!
This afternoon I went to meet my Fill Dr, which I will now refer to as Dr Fill. He was awesome! We cracked jokes, he said he was going to "stab Barbie" and hope I wasn't offended by that. Lol. Its didn't hurt as much as the first one. I have a total of 4.5 mLs in my band.
Dr Fill doesn't want me to have another fill for at least another month as I've already had two in the six weeks since banded. I'm hoping that it lasts me a lot longer than the 5 days my last fill did. I don't feel much different but I'm sure when I try and eat mushies tomorrow night I will think differently! On liquids until then.
Looking at poll results so far, numerous votes for more photos, hence more photos up. If someone can tell me how to make a link so I can have a Photo page I will do one and have comparison photos. Also, two votes for food diaries so will do one from now on. I saw that one vote was cast after my post about not watching what I was eating on weekend. Don't worry, I didn't go off the rails too much!

Breakfast- 2 cruskits and spaghetti
FILL NUMBER 2 AT 2PM
Now on liquids until tomorrow then will move onto mushies.


I have had a headache since yesterday afternoon. So I'm making sure I am getting all my water in.
Also, cold! I've never felt the cold before like this! I think I'm off to buy winter clothes this week. I've never really had to do that before.

Something momentous happend on the weekend. I told the guy I like I have the band. I was kinda put in a corner to tell him so I did. He had no issues about it at all. I did tell him I don't want him to see me for a few months until I look super hot and have more confidence. He said that was stupid and I looked fine now. Nice boy. I'll probably chicken out as I do.
My beautiful yet crazy sister wants to get the lapband. She hasn't properly tried the old fashion diet and exercise. Shes been having personal training sessions but never watching what she eats and eating crap. She thinks its the easy way out. Even after seeing me PB and have "stucks". She's a little desperate at the moment. She thinks having the band will fix her comfort eating. NO. Not the case, it actually makes the issue stick out a lot more. And MAKES you deal with it. I myself don't have that issue, I love food purely and simply. I would rather a fill than a Big Mac. I will have to try and find a way to explain all this to the sister. Mentally she would not cope with the band. She cannot look after herself now, so how would she do it with the band? She'd for sure make herself sick.

Welcome to the week readers. Hope you have a great one!

-skinny filled biddy :0)

Re-Heating

Oh! Just letting you know about the info the amazing Kristie told me about my Spag Bol incident on Thursday night. I had melted cheese on top and re-heated it. She says she has problems with that so I think that was the issue (cheese). I've re heated food before in the past with no issues.
So thanks amazing Kristie!
Hope this helps others too

-bridget :0)

It's So Cold!!

Thankyou to everyone who has been leaving comments, especially on my last post about relationships. I have taken all the advice given on board.
Today I went out to a CC Bandsters meet up. Was great to see lots of people I had spoken to over the boards and put a face to a name. I was a little confused as to why none of them exercised. The only reason I haven't been is because I'm waiting for my 6 weeks to be up to hit the gym. That happens Wednesday and I'm super excited!!
Woke up this morning with BAD BAD BAD fluid retention. Even mum said I looked very swollen. I feel like absolute shit. I feel like I could burst into tears at any time and I feel like an elephant! Lol. Thanks PCOS! Love you to bits! Can't wait til my little friends goes away. grrrr.
On the food front, next few days I will not be posting what I am eating. Simply because I have NO RESTRICTION and I'm having a fill on Monday so I'm not watching what I am eating. Silly I know but between no restriction and pms I'm just giving in.
It's also my last week before I get super serious. When I start back at the gym I know I'll be super focused so won't want to mess it up with bad food choices.
That's all for tonight.
Have a super weekend! Will let u know how fill number two goes!!! YAY!!!!

-not skinny, fluid retaining biddy

Am I Really Ready

And the answer to this question is no.
Thought I'd toy around with the idea of a relationship. Maybe getting out there and seeing how I feel.
It's not going to happen.
I've been looking back at past photos of my when I lost weight on the dreaded duromine. And I was looking back thinking that I was pretty. I want to get back into that headspace. And in order to get there I have to be 15 kilos lighter. I had so much self confidence back then. More than I've ever known.
Everytime I think about meeting a guy I clam up. I am super self concious.
So I'll wait it out. Wait til I get into that head space. It might be earlier than I think, might be a little later. But I don't need to force it onto myself.
I think I thought that as soon as Barbie was in there doing her magic I could move on. But I know now I can't. I have to face each issue head on, deal with it then wave it goodbye.
I also feel like I might be a little impatient about my weightloss so far. Some days I can cope fine, but other days I just wished I was 20 kilos lighter, back to where I was 18 months ago. I feel guilt that I put the weight back on plus more. If I hadn't I wouldnt have as much to lose.
Gimme under that 100......
10 to go.... how long will it take?
Hopefully starting gym next Wednesday will boost it a lot and help out.

Sorry for negative post but I just needed to vent. I'm usually happy so give me this one.

The Thursday Night Wrap Up

Just got home from sitting around a circle of strangers singing children's songs. It actually turned out better than I expected. I learnt a lot and will take a lot away from it to use at my centre. That's if I can sway the very rigid boss!
Before I left I tried to have dinner, Spag Bol. I had cooked it earlier so I didnt have to do it right before I left. So I didn't think about the re-heating rule (I've never had issues with it before) and tried to have a little before I left. It got stuck. Never had that issue before with Spag Bol. So I'm putting it down to the re-heating. Will not do again. Ended up (I know someone here will give me shit for this) getting a McFeast from McDonalds. It went down fine. Mum didn't understand why I didn't try the Spag Bol again, but I told her I wasn't really in the mood to have a "stuck" as I like to refer to it. Does any other bandsters have re-heating issues?
I also came home to see my sister with a shoe box with 4 mice in it. So they are going back to the Pet Store tomorrow. I love her to bits for being so caring for animals (they were going to be fed to a snake if not bought) but she can't have honestly thought it would be ok with two cats in the house!!!
Hanging out for my next fill on Monday. I suffer from the old fluid retention and im all pmsy so I feel like a whale. I'm having no issues eating anything I want at the moment (except re heated foods) and I think that has to do with pms. I know most bandsters have trouble eating at this time of the month but im opposite i think.
Dad's Day 3 of Opti-yuk. He is going really well. I knew food wise he would be better at it than me, he is a vego so knows what to do with veggies to get em to taste nice. He's already lost a heap apparently. I keep telling him its to shrink his liver but I know how cool it is to see the quick decline on scales. Wish I would see them right now!! Monday will fix that up.
So 8 votes so far on the poll I put up. Ok! I get the picture about the pictures! Will put more up. Comments on last two I put up???
I made a profile on "companions". lol. its a dating site. I have no idea why I did it, maybe because I was super bored last night. And of course, I ALWAYS get the creepy guys. Lol.
I started up with a netball team last week. Tonight was our first game. I missed it because of the inservice but we won!!!!! 16-13!!! Very happy! Most of us havent played for some time so I'm really happy we could get that win! We have 8 players (indoor you need 5) so we've got reserves which is good because I know I won't be playing a full game right off the bat!
Anyways thats all. I'm super tired.
Hope all is well in the land of skinny biddy readers!
-bridget :0)

oh, btw, if anyone wants to add me to facebook feel free.

New

New Photos......placed down the bottom of blog of course
New Rewards for weight loss .


Enjoy

How Did I Lose More???

I've lost another 800 grams. Ok, I know I said I wouldn't be worried about the grams but I'm super happy about the loss because I've been paranoid about the amount of food I am eating. Right now I'm hungry. I've already had dinner!! So glad I bought the fill forward. I know some people leave their fills until the scheduled time and I know that if I was to do that I could possible put some on (my Dr told me that). I always want to be on top of things. Making sure I know I am in control of my band and my body.
I love Barbie. She is awesome!
Wow! I've felt amazing since my last post! I've had some really great feedback about the blog which makes me feel very valiadated. I wanted to document my journey for two reasons. The first was I heard that people who write a journal/diary/blog have a more motivation hence more success. And second, so that other people looking into getting the band will hear what it is like for someone who has been through it. That is how I learnt the most valuable information about the banding journey. The information session the Dr held was great, but he doesnt see what daily life is like so hearing from someone the complete truth, the highs and lows really comforted me!
Not sure if I've blogged before about this, but going to my first offical bandster meet up on Saturday. Very exciting! Meeting others who have the band is really rewarding. It's like meeting a kindred spirit! Someone who can say "i get you".
I have a poll up about the blog. One vote so far (im so popular lol) about more photos. Ok, honesty o'clock. I know that whenever I read other peoples blogs photos really made the blog a whole lot better. But I'm scared. I know by doing it I'll feel vunerable. It was huge of me and my pride to admit I had a weight problem and blog about it. I got over that. So I know I will get over the photos. So I'll put some up. Me and mum were having a huge laugh over the photos of me in hospital. I asked my sister to take some after surgery from advice from other bandsters. Well she got camera happy and snapped away! And I looked sooooooo sick!! But promise from now on more photos. And I wont take 20 to get one decent one. I'll make sure they are true to life.
I love my life. I love the life that Barbie is giving to me. I don't know how this all happend, I guess this was the journey my life had to take. But bring on every single gram off the scales and off my mental anguish. Lighten me up physically and emotionally.

-bridget :0)

First Day Back

First day back at work today this year. Before the surgery my boss didn't need me (i work as first on call assistant) so I spent a few months at home not wanting to go out, hating the way I looked. And after surgery I've been very nervous about being able to get through the day, having a pb issues (as we dont have lunch breaks- even though its an 8 hr day), lifting etc.
So it was a pretty ok day to come back, first day of school holidays so parents dont usually bring there kids. But I realised today that I don't want to stay in childcare. I feel like I've got bigger and better things to do with my life. I still love the kiddies but I've lost the passion for it.
Dad starts opti-fast tomorrow. Surgery is in two weeks. It'll be weird seeing him go through it. But I'll make sure I look after him. He cooked us a roast dinner tonight. He doesn't eat meat so it was nice for him to do it. I hadn't had a roast in like 2 months so I knew it would be interesting to see how I would go with the pork. Ouch! No! No pork, it's ok. Really hurt. I ran to the bathroom not sure if I was going to pb or not. Called mum because I thought I might need some coke to help me along. But I didn't and it passed. Mum's new thing to say when im having "issues" is "are you regretting this?". And I know this is her feelings not mine but man its frustrating. I don't have any second thoughts at all. If it wasn't for this I'd be on my way to death. I would have either died from obesity related diseases or taken my own life in complete loss of life. Don't freak out at that last statement. It's the truth. And no, I'm fine now. So please don't comment telling me I need to get some mental help!!!
Netball training for the first time in years. I came home quite exhausted!! I have long ways to go before I'm super fit and don't feel like I'm going to die after 10 mins! I miss our first game on Thursday due to work, but will be there the week after with game face on!! As of now each day I am going to do some form of workout for at least 30 mins a day so I'm not in such shock when I start netball.
I moved forward my fill from three weeks to one. I don't feel like I have enough restriction. I feel like I can eat my three meals a day plus a few snacks. Today's meals:

Breakfast- 2 cruskits with spaghetti
Snack - v8 juice
Lunch- sushi and seaweed salad
Snack- ajatas vege chips and 2 cruskits with roast beef and hommus
Dinner- not much, roast dinner.

I know I will be hungry in about two hours and just feel outta control with food. So will see what the doctor says. Maybe even a little fill will be fine.

Please think of my mum tomorrow as she goes for her biopsy.
New poll up, please vote on things you'd like to see to improve blog. I'm not sure if anyone out there in cyber land is reading anymore. Come post a comment and have a chat! You can post annonymously (sp?)and leave your name in comment.
Hope everyone had a great weekend.

-skinny tired biddy :0)

Another Quiz

You'll Find a Boyfriend Within 3 Months

Maybe you need a bit more time to get over an ex Or maybe you need a confidence boost to talk to new guys Either way, you'll find a boyfriend in time... As long as you keep getting out there and meeting new guys

When Will You Meet Your Next Boyfriend?

I've been thinking about being in a relationship a lot the last week. It's been so long. I have a huge fear of male rejection, dating back to when I was at school and the guys were horrible to me. I need to have more belief in myself. And more confidence. So I think that will happen within the next few months. I know with each kilo I lose, the more I will feel exposed. More vunerable. And thats ok. I'm ready to let everyone see the real me. Especially guys. Watch this space.....

Body Image

Quiz stolen from Nikki's blog, we actually both ended up with the same results! I thought mine would be a lot worse!

Your Body Image is 52% Unhealthy, 48% Healthy

You may think you have a normal body image, but you definitely don't. While you may not have a serious problem, you obsess over your looks way too much.

How's Your Body Image?

I'm very frustrated with my band today. I can't eat EVERYTHING and that has been the case for the last few days. I eat dinner and still don't feel full or if I do it doesn't last very long. So will call up and see if I can get another fill earlier, I fear that if I don't I might put on weight due to no restriction.

-skinny unrestricted biddy :0)

Holy Hell!

Wow! What a night!
First I have my second (and worst so far) PB (Productive Burp) from the leftover pasta from last nights dinner. I wasn't pleasant at all and had to use a little coke to bring it up because it was stuck. CHEW CHEW CHEW!! Why doesn't the brain work sometimes? Geez Louise!
Secondly, Mum tells me she's been to the doctors and she has to get a biopsy because the mark on her chest looks to be a skin cancer and they are worried it is deep.
Thirdly, the sister is off her crazy pills (i dont think she reads this, if you are reading I love you baby but you know that you are bi polar and need the drugs) and is behaving very erraticly. She has lost her license (after having it for less than 8 weeks) for speeding, lost her wallet, lost her keys and decided to take off tonight without telling anyone where she was. So we called around trying to find her. It's scary because you never know what she is going to be like. At the moment she is on a high so think's she is made of steel and can't be broken.
Fourthy, I got a call from a very close friend who I haven't spoken to in a few months. She moved away at the end of last year so it's been hard to keep in contact. But one of the first things she said to me was that she was proud of me which meant a lot.

Phew! What a night. I don't think I'll be able to sleep for some hours. I hope tomorrow isn't like this!

Food wise:
Breakfast- Sweet Thai Chilli Chicken Wrap
Lunch- 2 cruskits with roast beef and hommus
Snack- that fucking dreaded pasta!!!
Dinner- Sushi roll x2 and yummy seaweed salad
Snack- a few little bits of choc

Kristie told me a valuable bit of advice tonight. I might not feel I have the restriction but I still need to eat small bites. Will remember every time a piece of food touches my lips.
I have three weeks until next fill, maybe I should move it forward??? I dunno if I am eating too much.

-skinny stressed biddy :0)

New Goals

New goals posted in Goal column on right hand side.
First one is my mini goal. Put the 15 kilo mark back a week. I don't want to try and push myself too hard and set myself up for disappointment.
My other big goal set id for my 21st on August 3rd. Now it isn't a weight as such, its a size. I've decided size 14. So I have a few months to go before that. A new ticker is up to countdown. This means I gotta move my butt and start working out a little more. Just have to shift this tiredness.

-skinny newly motivated biddy :0)

Argh!!!

No restriction today!!!!!

Breakfast- 2 cruskits with vegemite, cottage cheese and tomato

Lunch- 2 mini tortilla wraps with cheese, ham, tomato, sweet chilli (one with lettuce, it really hurt! So I know now I cannot eat lettuce!!!)

Snack- Rice Crackers and Light Chive and Onion Philly Spread

Dinner- Ham and Cheese Macaroni (a whole plate!!!!!! omg!)

I'm REALLY craving twisties and chocolate now! I don't feel any difference from before dinner to now. It's certainly a struggle mentally when each day food is different. My dietician told me Tuesday that she thinks I might lose restriction in a week or so. I'm told that after fill 1 and 2 is when you start to feel it.

I've met an awesome girl named Katie from the Yahoo Lap Band Boards. I read a post of hers and its like we are the same person!! So I emailed her and we've been talking since last night. Our lives are so similar! She lives in Vic which is a shame but more a reason to go for a holiday!! So Katie if you're reading, shout out to you!!!

Very boring day today. Feeling very hormonal so decided not to do much. Dad got a call from the dietician. He starts Opti-fast next Wednesday. I know he will probably come to me a lot for advice and help because I've been through it all. I'm hoping he doesn't over take me on the weight loss side, but being a male he probably will! Lol.

No more tonight. Boring post sorry.

-skinny hormonal biddy :0)

4 week bandiversary

I totally forgot!!! Happy 1 month bandiversary to me!!! Six weeks down (2 weeks pre op opti fast) I've lost 12 kilos. I am very proud of myself.

I can see life starting to get very interesting!!!!!!

Happy, yes, happy

I found out this afternoon that I am working the 6 months at pre school!! I have to start attending staff meetings as of now and inservices as we have accreditation probably the first few weeks i am there. So I am glad I turned down the traineeship because this is enough to deal with without all this on top of it.
The only down side is that I will be missing my first game of netball. But thats ok, I probably shouldn't be doing it anyway. We start training on Sunday. Very excited! I started working out today in preparation. lol.
I haven't been able to eat much today. Kristie says it could be because of the rain.

Breakfast: 2 cruskits (roast beef and hommus)
Lunch: v8 juice and rice crackers
Dinner: none so far

I have a bit of a headache now so I will make sure im drinking as much water as possible. Trying to get it all in. Now I understand when bandsters say they feel like a fish!! Hahaha.
On the hair front I've decided to let it go. I was looking back at photos of me with the darker hair and I'm not sure if it suited me. This looks pretty natural.

Starting to get peakish. Going to try to eat some dinner!!

-skinny biddy :0)

Poll Up

Poll for hair. If you have any other hair related comments please post here.
(Thats referring to you Kristie lol)

-skinny copper biddy

The Wrap

So first things first, I look at my webpage ticker to see that my page as been viewed 916 times! Thats amazing!!! So to whoever out there in cyber land is reading thanks a bunch. And I hope you enjoy.
Speaking of enjoying things..... not happy about the hair. I've been looking forward to this for a few weeks now and I'm a bit disappointed. I had to go to someone else at the same salon as my hairdresser had a baby. So she simply had to read the instructions left to her and follow. No. No she didn't. Instead of a chocolate base its copper. And I HATE copper. So I'm waiting for some feedback from the mother and from you guys. If I'm not happy should I call and complain? I'm not the type of person who can be assertive. Photo is on the right.
Went to see dietician this morning. Weighed in and lost 1.9 kilos since my fill 4 days ago!!! So I've lost 9.8 according to her scales, home ones are 12.1. I'm going for home scales number. Not because its bigger, but because I will weigh myself at home more than there. Dieitician wants me to eat more protein and a better breakfast so will try to. I've just been having v8 juice but thats not enough. She wants me to get my GP to do some blood works because of the tiredness and check everything else out.
Today was a first for me. First PB (Productive Burp for those not in the know). I came home from being out all day. Tummy grumbled. So I decided to eat something before I got super hungry. Well I made a mini tortilla wrap with ham,cheese,lettuce,cheese and sweet chilli sauce. It tasted amazing. Too amazing. Too fast. So it got stuck. Now every other time I've had this issue I've used coke and its helped. Not this time!! It made it a lot worse. Ten times worse. I ran to sink and moaning and groaning I eventually P.Bed. I definately learnt from today. But I know it'll happen again and again, brains are fickle things. But since I'd done so much reading on it I wasn't scared at all. I knew what was happening, what was going to happen, and why this was occuring. For anyone getting the band. Please read read read. Learn as much as you can. It's so benefical!
Starting netball training (dont worry i wont go too hard at it) on Sunday. Some of the Central Coast Bandsters are starting a team up next Thursday. I LOVE netball. Used to play back when I was 10. Got a couple of trophies and grandfinals action. So it should be fun.
That's it, that's all. Hope everyone in band and non-band world are super!

My First Ever Feeling of Restriction

I woke up this morning exhausted. I am still so tired ALL the time. More on that later. I didn't feel hungry at all. I had a juice instead. I definately could tell I had restriction. Here's todays meals:

Breakfast- 1/4 of my porridge plus 6 cashews
Lunch- 2 cruskits with vegemite, cottage cheese and tomato
Dinner- Atlantic Salmon and veggies.

I really couldn't eat too much of my breakfast and my awesome banding buddy Kristie reminded me that bands are usually tighter in the morning. So that made sense. So by dinner I was hungry but couldn't handle all of it. I had a pretty good attempt though! I am currently feeling quite hungry so will have some water (water intake hasn't been so good and I know how important that is) and then see how it goes.

Now back to this tired thing. I'm sick of it. I really want to start working out on a daily basis but stuggling to function. Mum's close friend is a naturopath. Mum spoke to her about it and said that Centrum is definately not enough. Apparently it is a very weak multivitamin. So she has given me one. I have compared bottles and its laughable. She PROMISED me I would feel better on it. So I'm happy about that. She also gave me iron tablets. Now I tried to take them tonight with little success. Yes, I managed to get them down but man it was super uncomfortable! It still feels like they are in my throat! I am really not a fan of liquid medication, especially natural ones. They taste so bad! But I am going to have to grin and bare it. It's important I stay on top of everything. I don't want to end up in hospital with dehydration or needing iron injections. I've heard of that happening and that is not going to be me.

On a little, quite hilarious note I have a little story for you. Mum is buying me the Pandora bracelet. I told her it was ready and she said she cant afford to buy me the bracelet and charms this week but will layby it for me. She comes into my room a few hrs later with an ad from the paper. She says "I found an ad for specials for Pandora you might want to check out"

Here is the ad:

PANDORA'S

Now a selection of newly arrived ladies

plus all your favourites

Daytime special before 5 pm.

Pleasure is our name

She didn't read the ad properly...................... I'm glad she didn't call and ask what the specials were. She was so close!!!!!!!!!! Hilarious!

On that note I'm off to drink as much water as I can and try and find my winter clothing. I can't believe how cold it has become! I think I threw mine all out. Dammit!

Stay Classy.

-skinny "newly arrived" biddy :0)

My First Fill

Above is a pic of my first fill! It did hurt but Dr expected it to as I was still very sore around the port area. I had 2 mLs put in today. I could definately feel the restriction straight away!
For anyone who hasn't had a fill yet I'll give you a run down. I went in, talked about what I was able to eat (a lot!) and went next door. I weighed myself (exactly the same as last time) and layed down on bed thingy. The pillow was placed under my back so it raised my stomach up. The Dr felt around to find the right spot to stab me with (lol) and marked it out. He put some cold antiseptic on me, waited a minute, then got the injection ready. He put the needle into my port then asked me to raise my head. He then fiddled around and injected the 2 mLs into my port. It did hurt quite a bit but as soon as it was over I was fine. Coming from someone who is afraid of needles I know I did well! The Dr put the biggest piece of gauze on it! lol a bandaid would have been fine....
Straight after my first fill my Dad had his consultation. He is booked in for surgery April 30th!! I'm very happy for him because I know how desperately he wants it. I know he is going to do well! He is going to kick my arse!
I've lost 16% of my total excess weight already! Yay! I am so happy!
Hoping the fill will get my weight to the 15 kilos lost mark. But slow and steady is healthy, I know that.
I've been meeting up with fellow bandsters the last few days. It's really help me feel better. I was feeling very low, had a lot of family stuff going on plus frustrated because of too much restriction. I really didn't want to post so kept away. But I'm back. Getting hair done Tuesday and really looking forward to that. It's one of my fave things to do!

I txt my boss. I am allowed back at work now so let her know. I'm going to take it very easy. lol. As I was typing that she responded. I have a full day of work 14th april. Should be interesting! You probably think I'm a diva because I'm saying its hard but child care is so demanding. I also told her I wasn't going to take the traineeship. She said she'd call me next week to discuss it. She was in a super good mood because shes in melbourne at the moment! So hopefully I still have the work for 6 months. I guess I'll have it wait until next week to find out.
My pandora bracelet is ready to be picked up! Will get it tomorrow!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

-skinny filly biddy :0)

3 weeks Banded today

It's my 3 week Bandaversary. Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Up until about an hour ago I was still feeling pretty shitty about everything. I actually bawled my eyes out right after I blogged last night. A combination of a lot of things. Feeling like being in limbo waiting for the right fill, family issues, emotional issues with losing the weigh, work issues etc.
I found out I have low iron so that probably has contributed to the tiredness.
I posted on the ccb message boards because it got to a point where I felt I really needed to reach out for help. Mum has been amazing but I need to be around people who have been through it. Mum booked me in to get my hair done on Tuesday after the dietician so I'm pretty excited about that. She's really supportive and I love her so much.
Thank god for that board though! I've met some amazing people through it. I'm meeting El for lunch tomorrow for the first time and after my fill on friday the amazing kristie and i are meeting up for coffee. She has been a life saver for me. We chatted for an hour or so on msn and I felt so much better. A lot perkier and postive. I think because I have something to look forward to it has helped me.
That's all for tonight. I don't want to spoil my good mood by thinking too much.

-skinny biddy

p.s: not taking traineeship. Planning on a career change after america.

My New Mini Goal

I haven't been feeling the blog thing at the moment. It could be because my a little frustrated because I'm desperate for the fill (not long to go I know), I don't know if anyone is reading this anymore and I'm still quite tired.
Yesterday I went out with my awesome friend Nicole. Love you!! We went and got lunch which was a little daunting. It was fine, ordered from the kids menu, fish and chips. I was able to eat the whole thing! No probs at all. Reminder I need a fill!! We also walked around the shops for awhile and that was fine. I was tired by the end of the day.
Got up this morning and did some cleaning. I was fine until this afternoon when I felt wiped out. Mum doesn't get why I am so tired. I tried to explain that its a combination of things. It's the reduced calories, the surgery, the fact im no longer on diabex and some people are still off work at this stage. She understood when I put it all together.
I haven't done anymore exercise since my 20 mins last week! Lol. I DEFINATELY will tomorrow. I promise myself and promise you guys (if anyone is reading). So you can syber slap me if I don't.
I've started to notice the difference in my body. I can't wait to get to under 100! I'm taking small goals, 5 kilos at a time. So my next goal is the 15 kilo mark. I'm hoping after starting my workouts tomorrow as well as the fill Friday I can get there in the next two weeks. So thats my mini goal.
GET TO 15 KILOS WEIGHT LOST SO FAR BY APRIL 14TH.
I will put it up on the right side. Now I'm not going to become suicidal if I don't get to it. Like I said awhile ago, I haven't become obsessed with the grams. I only weigh myself once a week at maxium.
On the job front, found out that the wage isnt as bad as i thought it was. Its the usual wage so thats good. But I don't think I want to put myself though all that stress. It's a lot of work and to do it in half the time. So will ask if I can just work there without doing the traineeship. She does need someone and doesn't have anyone else.I don't think I will stick with Child Care. I feel like I can be more. I don't know what yet but it'll come to me during this process of finding myself. With each kilo I get a little closer to finding the true me.

-skinny biddy :0)

p.s: I think I am feeling pretty low today also as it is my Grandad's birthday. Yeah, April Fools Day. He passed away nearly three years ago. That day changed my life a lot. I miss him a lot. So this blog today is in memory of my dear Grandad.