First Day Back

First day back at work today this year. Before the surgery my boss didn't need me (i work as first on call assistant) so I spent a few months at home not wanting to go out, hating the way I looked. And after surgery I've been very nervous about being able to get through the day, having a pb issues (as we dont have lunch breaks- even though its an 8 hr day), lifting etc.
So it was a pretty ok day to come back, first day of school holidays so parents dont usually bring there kids. But I realised today that I don't want to stay in childcare. I feel like I've got bigger and better things to do with my life. I still love the kiddies but I've lost the passion for it.
Dad starts opti-fast tomorrow. Surgery is in two weeks. It'll be weird seeing him go through it. But I'll make sure I look after him. He cooked us a roast dinner tonight. He doesn't eat meat so it was nice for him to do it. I hadn't had a roast in like 2 months so I knew it would be interesting to see how I would go with the pork. Ouch! No! No pork, it's ok. Really hurt. I ran to the bathroom not sure if I was going to pb or not. Called mum because I thought I might need some coke to help me along. But I didn't and it passed. Mum's new thing to say when im having "issues" is "are you regretting this?". And I know this is her feelings not mine but man its frustrating. I don't have any second thoughts at all. If it wasn't for this I'd be on my way to death. I would have either died from obesity related diseases or taken my own life in complete loss of life. Don't freak out at that last statement. It's the truth. And no, I'm fine now. So please don't comment telling me I need to get some mental help!!!
Netball training for the first time in years. I came home quite exhausted!! I have long ways to go before I'm super fit and don't feel like I'm going to die after 10 mins! I miss our first game on Thursday due to work, but will be there the week after with game face on!! As of now each day I am going to do some form of workout for at least 30 mins a day so I'm not in such shock when I start netball.
I moved forward my fill from three weeks to one. I don't feel like I have enough restriction. I feel like I can eat my three meals a day plus a few snacks. Today's meals:

Breakfast- 2 cruskits with spaghetti
Snack - v8 juice
Lunch- sushi and seaweed salad
Snack- ajatas vege chips and 2 cruskits with roast beef and hommus
Dinner- not much, roast dinner.

I know I will be hungry in about two hours and just feel outta control with food. So will see what the doctor says. Maybe even a little fill will be fine.

Please think of my mum tomorrow as she goes for her biopsy.
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Hope everyone had a great weekend.

-skinny tired biddy :0)