Friday, April 18, 2008

Am I Really Ready

And the answer to this question is no.
Thought I'd toy around with the idea of a relationship. Maybe getting out there and seeing how I feel.
It's not going to happen.
I've been looking back at past photos of my when I lost weight on the dreaded duromine. And I was looking back thinking that I was pretty. I want to get back into that headspace. And in order to get there I have to be 15 kilos lighter. I had so much self confidence back then. More than I've ever known.
Everytime I think about meeting a guy I clam up. I am super self concious.
So I'll wait it out. Wait til I get into that head space. It might be earlier than I think, might be a little later. But I don't need to force it onto myself.
I think I thought that as soon as Barbie was in there doing her magic I could move on. But I know now I can't. I have to face each issue head on, deal with it then wave it goodbye.
I also feel like I might be a little impatient about my weightloss so far. Some days I can cope fine, but other days I just wished I was 20 kilos lighter, back to where I was 18 months ago. I feel guilt that I put the weight back on plus more. If I hadn't I wouldnt have as much to lose.
Gimme under that 100......
10 to go.... how long will it take?
Hopefully starting gym next Wednesday will boost it a lot and help out.

Sorry for negative post but I just needed to vent. I'm usually happy so give me this one.


mjwdec73 said...

Vent as much as you like - thankfully blogs are very good for that.

I think you are being very wise - holding off until you are mentally and emotionally ready is a much better move - for yourself, and whoever you end up in a relationship with. It is still a bit of an emotional rollercoaster right now - great idea to deal with one issue at a time - at least that way you don't get your emotional issues confused.

I need coffee - I still sound confused.

You will know when it is the right time - but don't just settle for the first one who comes along - you are entitled to be choosy.

NikkiD said...

I totally agree. You need to be ready 100% to begin a relationship. Also confidence plays such a big role in attraction. Men find confidence so attractive!!

I say concentrate on you right now and the rest will all fall into place when the time is right!

Bridget said...

thanks guys I really appreciate it. The only reason this issue came up so suddenly was because this guy wanted to go out with me. Cute and funny he is, and we get along well, he hasnt seen me yet. My biggest fear is he takes one look at me then runs.
So I agree, confidence first.

Emma said...

Cheer up! You've been banded only a week longer than me and you've lost more than 12kgs! (I've lost half that!) You should be super proud of yourself.

I agree with the other comments on the relationship stuff. I had been losing weight for 2 years (lost 50kgs) and within a year of hooking up with my lovely GB I put a big bloody chunk of that back on. One thing at a time! Not that I'd give GB up for the weight off but I wish I'd been in the right mindset to stay watching the calorie intake and have a relationship at the same time.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...


When you meet the right guy, trust me your weight won't matter!!

Love is blind, it is just a metter of finding the right one :-)

All in good time......he will find you when you least expect it!!